Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie's plot.

When you hear a title like The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys these days, all sorts of unsavory topics might come to mind. A coming to age story of risk-taking adolescents in the late 1970’s probably isn’t first on the list. That’s only the first surprise you’ll find in this 2002 big screen directorial debut from Peter Care.

Having only worked in television and music videos prior to (and since) Altar Boys, Care does a nice job telling his tale of innocence lost. It isn’t the most original or particularly believable thing to come down the pike, but it certainly has some outstanding attributes.

Care and screenwriter Jeff Stockwell adapt the novel by Chris Fuhrman about a pair of early teens in a working class northern town. Actually, the pair starts out as a foursome, but the focus quickly narrows to Tim (Keiran Culkin) and Francis (Emile Hirsch). The boys attend a Catholic school where the pious Sister Assumpta (Jodie Foster) rules with a strict idea of how these young people should behave. Unfortunately, Tim in particular simply does not feel any great need to behave in such a fashion. He would rather play pranks and join Francis in the production of a comic book. Assumpta is not impressed by their youthful rebellion, thus incurring their equally youthful and impractical wrath. What follows is the sort of cause and effect really only seen in teen angst movies.

The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys is filled to the brim with teen angst. I don’t point this out as a failing of the film, but more of a description of the genre into which it falls. Tim is a clever little wiseacre with too much energy for his stultifying environment. He’s a risk-taking, attention-seeking, self-destructive child with little to lose. He’s also whip smart and personable, understanding perfectly well that he doesn’t fit into either his rigid parochial school or his breaking, anger filled home. Keiran Culkin approaches this character at a full run. He doesn’t pull back to make Tim more sensitive or reasonable, he plays him with glee and a sense of manic abandon. We like Tim, but it’s hard not to agree with Sister Assumpta when she expresses great concern over where this child might be headed. This character and performance remind me strongly of Culkin’s role in Igby Goes Down. An excellent performance.

Francis is sweet, if perhaps a trifle dim, and filled with imagination and a wonderful ability to translate his fantasies into drawings. His involvement with a girl who has big secrets makes him vulnerable and plays strongly to his loyalty and innate goodness – traits which drive the character throughout the film. They don’t always drive him to make the best decisions, but they are decisions made with a good heart. He isn’t like Tim; he doesn’t have that self-destructive streak implanted by too many brains and a clear understanding of his own relative insignificance. He’s more of a dreamer, playing out his fantasies of revenge and triumph in his comic books. Hirsch is a cute kid, but not quite as strong an actor as Culkin. The roles are well cast, with Culkin’s character as the leader, Hirsch’s the follower. Where Culkin oozes sass and rebellion, Hirsch flows with a more uncertain, quizzical style, befitting his character.

The film incorporates animated sequences of Francis’s comic book renderings. This is a risky move. Overdo it and the film is disconnected and choppy. Underplay it and it’s nothing more than an occasional odd distraction. Care gets it just right, which is quite an achievement. The animated sequences do a good job of illustrating (pun most definitely intended) how Francis feels, what the world looks like to him and the kind of person he wishes to be. Unlike Tim, Francis isn’t articulate and insightful in a conventional way, but he unloads his angst onto the page. When we get to see this it’s like a look into Francis, something we need to balance out the dominance of Tim. As a story-telling device, the animated sequences are exceptionally well done (as well as being quite entertaining in their own right).

The place where Altar Boys fumbles is in the basic story. We have two well developed and sympathetic characters, but the basic outline of the plot runs from tired and worn coming of age angst (though with a healthy dose of dry wit) to credulity straining (moderate) weirdness as the film progresses. We like these kids, but that doesn’t mean we can suspend disbelief quite enough to go along with the implausible developments in the story. It doesn’t completely deflate the film, but it does hamper our ability to empathize by the end. We just don’t really believe anymore – we’ve been pulled from the lives of the characters by the silliness of the story, which is too bad, because Care has a good thing going for the first two thirds of the film.

Overall, The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys is both good and bad (isn’t most everything?). The characters of Tim and Francis are likable, engaging and beautifully developed. The performances of the leads – particularly Keiran Culkin – are exceptional, giving the characters real depth and making us feel their pain, confusion, joy and friendship. There is humor and pathos in these kids and Hirsch and Culkin are able to play both without a fumble. Unfortunately, the final act of the film finds them in a rather ludicrous situation, undermining our sympathies by pulling us too far from reality. The movie is still good as a whole; the ending doesn’t ruin all that has come before. It’s a good choice for anyone fond of the teen angst/coming of age genre or of either lead actor. Director Peter Care shows real talent in his ability to create characters and use some unconventional techniques to give them further depth. I hope he gets another crack at the big screen. 3 1/2 stars, rounded up.


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Tim, as you probably guessed, is the character who utters the brilliant quotes serving as both the title of this review and the bottom line

Recommended: Yes