The B movie is indeed a strange thing, a contradiction in terms. On the one hand these films are quite literally, inherently crap. Everything from the cheesy giant bugs/space monster plots to the extreme overacting screams that these films are not exactly going to be held as highly as films like Casablanca. Yet still society is largely obsessed with B movies and we are constantly barraged with attempts to popularize the unpopular. Sometimes a film like Alien can succeed at creating a film that ranks among the greatest ever made, while others like Tremors satirize the genre for their own ends.

Eight Legged Freaks fits comfortably into the latter area. It tell the old story of a truck carrying toxic waste and spilling it's contents into a small river, with the resulting damage causing the local spiders to mutate into incomprehensible sizes. Yet unlike the similar monster movies of the 40's and 50's Eight Legged Freaks remains conscious of it's sheer absurdity and uses it to it's advantage.

If you're looking for proof that this is true then you need look no further than the spiders themselves. I mean sure they look amazing, as far removed from the old blue screen monstrosities as you could care to mention, these CGI creatures carry with them a surprising solidity, compared to other films of it's ilk anyway. As these bad boys come charging around the screen you can make out individual hairs on each of their eight hideous legs, and one spider in particular, we'll call him The Daddy, moves with such a fluid realism that he will likely send shivers down the spines of arachnaphobes everywhere.

Yet these visuals are not the area that I was referring too. The Spiders in Eight Legged Freaks have a personality, in fact they have the best personality in the film. These are not the quiet kill all, eat all and move on monsters that were featured in the Tremors movies, which Eight Legged Freaks is always likened too, but rather they have the kill all because it's fun attitude of the Gremlins, more specifically Gremlins 2. As these Spiders attacked and bounced around the screen laughing with Sadistic glee I couldn't help but be reminded of the classic Gremlins 2 monsters, and whenever I heard a slight squeaky "ouch" I found myself giving off genuine belly laughs.

If you're looking for that type of thing from Eight Legged Freaks then I promise you that you wont be disappointed. Yet if you happen to be looking for a film that carries any degree of artistic integrity then, I have to ask this, but, why would you even bother watching a film called Eight Legged freaks? Clearly the title says it all, it's a film that pokes fun of itself for your enjoyment, that tries to be fun purely for fun, and succeeds at that. The young kid who makes the initial discovery makes a comment about how "Nobody listens to the kid" and there are a few other moments designed to point out the irony of the giant spider genre, but largely it's a film that aims for the gut and scores with a non stop barrage of belly laughs.

I would like to give one last comment to the acting, because it doesn't suck. Despite what you may have heard the acting in Eight Legged Freaks doesn't suck. It's not particularly brilliant either, but it does suite the film. David Arquette is nothing more than decent, but still endearing as the films hero Chris. Rick Overton was hilarious as the towns dopey Deputy, with Kari Wuhrer and Scarlett Johansson making painfully attractive damsels in distress. Of course none of them carry any degree of nuance, but they fit the characters who are simply spoofs of the common monster movie stereotypes, with Chris being a slightly goofy hero and the ladies being strong and intelligent in their own rights.

This has been my entry into the Lean-N-Mean write-off.

Recommended:
Yes

Viewing Format: DVD
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older