Last year Carl wrote a review of Eight Legged Freaks, so I'm continuing the tradition after seeing it on television recently. Speaking of traditions, Eight Legged Freaks plows full-steam ahead into the satirical horror movie genre, following in the semi-grand footsteps of Gremlins and Tremors, both of which are fitting comparisons for the general tone of this movie.

The story can be summed up in two words: Spiders attack. And do they ever. First we meet a typical set of characters who reside in a small Montana town. The hero, a mining engineer returning to his roots (David Arquette). The heroine, a local sheriff who is ridiculously attractive (Kari Wuhrer), and her semi-rebellious teen daughter (Scarlett Johansson...yes, really). You can probably already deduce the story arcs of their relationships. Once the requisite chemical spill mutates a panoply of poisonous spiders, the necessary but lame stage-setting is done with. The overgrown spiders then invade, saving the movie and providing the its best visuals as they attack with excessive violence that spawns laughter with every aggressive movement.

That's not necessarily surprising. What is surprising is the type of humor that the spiders provide. From attacking a stuffed deer head to being dragged behind the bumper of a car, the anthropomorphic arachnids achieve a higher level of comedy than any actor in the movie. Many of the spiders are computer-generated, often obviously so. But I think this is intentional, adding to the campiness. The sounds effects also enhance the feel of the movie. Often they are cartoonish, as the spiders giggle (seriously), squeal, liquify, and go splat. Just the sheer size of the spiders is hilarious too, particularly when they engulf their human prey. This appeals to the same senses of humor (like mine) that still laugh at the sheer comic violence of Wile E. Coyote getting plastered yet again by an anvil.

These wonderfully effective special effects establish the tone, which is key to this movie's success. Some movies are unintentionally humorous, but Eight Legged Freaks (even the title is amusing) is plainly and gleefully tongue-in-cheek, poking fun at nearly every horror movie cliche. The mood is aided in large part by the score. From the opening shots, the music is bouncy and playful, screaming B-movie. Once you recognize the campy attitude, you can rachet down any serious expectations and enjoy the show.

With a few recognizable names, the cast is fully suitable, collectively acting appropriately serious at times, but also displaying the ability to be stupid or over-the-top when need be. But who really cares about the humans? In contrast to most movies, the humans are the props here, just people for the spiders to "act" against. When the people do act, they are usually mere caricatures lapsing into horror movie cliches, such as poking their heads into dark places and running off alone to save the town. These norms are combined with some freshness, which presents itself most blatantly in a X-Games scene in which the giant spiders chase down teenagers on dirtbikes. Cheesy? Absolutely. Fun stuff? Heck yeah.

Better to see than relate, Eight Legged Freaks is something that isn't done well often, a B-movie that knows it's a B-movie. Not great, but highly entertaining. Everything one could want from this type of movie. You'll laugh; you'll wince; you'll enjoy. 7 of 10.


This is my fourth entry in Tom's Lean-N-Mean III write-off for concise yet informative reviews.

Recommended:
Yes