Yo… yo…

To my mind there are two kinds of Eminem songs
One builds and crescendos till it finishes strong
Spewing anger and bile at the world that gives him knocks
While dishing out rough hooks like a rusty tackle box
The other kind of song is a little more jokey
"The Real Slim Shady" is fresh but kinda hokey
"8 Mile", the first flick to give Slim a starring role
Tries a little bit of both but it falls in a hole
When it goes for the joke, it's just a waste of celluloid
Tryin' to make me laugh at this white boy who's unemployed
But when it goes for the grit, and takes its cues from Motown streets
This slick faux-biopic is kind of hard to beat
But that's just the beginning of my Eminem Epinion
Listen up, let me tell you why this pic is truly winning

A brief plot summary, is probably in order
Eminem play Rabbit, who soon becomes a boarder
In his mom's trailer after busting from his girl
She says she's with child and that truly rocks his world
But you can't go home again, as the old saying goes
On his first night back he nearly come to blows
But Rabbit's got other things crowding his mind
A local music hustler promises him he'll get signed
He goes weekly to The Shelter, where run by his friend Future
Boredom is the disease, and Rap Battles are the cure
But when it's his turn at the mic, Rabbit just freezes
And maybe it's true what every other MC says
That the other side of 8 Mile is where he belongs
But Rabbit's got dreams, and Rabbit just longs
For rap superstardom and all that it entails
I think I've given you enough significant details

The freestylin' scenes are what set this movie hopping
The action picks up when the rhymes are dropping
Em only busts his talent in fits and spurts
The scenes between battles give the audience hurts
One rap by a lunch truck shows Rabbit is spunky
And you've gotta love a man who makes Lynyrd Skynyrd funky
But when it comes time to have battles at The Shelter
The movie writes its own ticket like Manson's crew wrote "Helter Skelter"
Packed to the rafters, with a crowd that is after
What The Shelter has to offer, the hooting and laughter
And blood and sweat and tears left on the floor
Once these scenes are over you'll be begging for more
But screenwriter Scott Silver keeps them well spread out
He leaves you wet with anticipation for the final bout
When the movie explodes with energy to spare
Its turtle of a story is dusted by a rapping hare

The star of the show is one Mr. Marshall Mathers
A wicked young punk who's left the rap game in tatters
The most important question is whether Marshall can act
I'd say he can, if only the movie would subtract
Every last scene where he isn't freestylin'
Most of his straight line readings come off like he was lying
His performance isn't real, but that's not his appeal
You're coming to his show to see if Em can make you feel
And on that score he's surely a winner
He's more a movie star than a TV dinner
Loaded with charisma, enough to make you watch him
Armed with saucer-plate eyes that show the truth within
When he's angry they twitch and when he's surprised they're wide
Eminem does well showing the feelings inside
His character, B. Rabbit, or should I call him Bunny
My only other beef is that the boy ain't funny
A little comic relief might have helped relieve the tension
But still Eminem does demand your attention
And that's all we really need from his first starring part
Playin' a version of himself, now that was truly smart
Do I think he could tackle a more complex role?
If he tried he'd probably wind up an acting black hole

Backing up Slim Shady is a knuckleheaded crew
Made up of some old school actors, and some new
Led by Mekhi Phifer, who plays an anti-cipher
Dreadlocked, laid-back, he's easy to decipher
A mentor, a father figure and a friend
He coaxes B. Rabbit to a desirable end
Phifer shows warmth and plays the character well
But that can't be said for all in Em's cartel
Evan Jones, as Cheddar Bob, looks like Flea from the Chilis
He doesn't play a heel but he's still the cast's Achilles
Sure he's playing dumb (he nearly shoots off his dick)
But please get Mr. Jones to Stella Adler quick
De'Angelo Wilson, who plays DJ Iz
Is supposed to be smart, some kind of political wiz
But the character's lacking, he's hardly packing
An intellect that might help when they come attacking
Wilson spits his lines out with too much force
Making him redundant and weak and kind of coarse
Omar Benson Miller, a mountain of a man
Fares much better than the rest of the clan
Much of the comic relief in this dour motion picture
Comes from this man, that's a kudo not a stricture
He's an amiable force, his line readings sing
Didn't I see him last week on "The West Wing"?

Bergman had Ullman, and Woody had Keaton
These two hype directors give Curtis Hanson a beating
He's only got Kim Basinger to use and reuse
Even Quentin's got Uma for his cinematic muse
Kim plays Rabbit's mom, who's doing his high school chum
The high point of her performance is when she shows off her bum
But after the 'booty call' it's all downhill from there
Is there someone in her trailer doing her makeup and hair?
The ex-Mrs. Baldwin couldn't be more annoying
She's shrieky and brash and whiny and cloying
And maybe it's just part of her characterization
But her performance gave me nothing more than frustration
And Brittany Murphy, as Alex the love interest
Looks cute and sexy in a slinky little dress
But this five-foot-nothing chick is going to be a model?
Don't you try and sell me such implausible twaddle
Her character seems to know much more than she has seen
Says Em'll be a star after just one rap routine!
Still, she and Em have romantic chemistry to spare
I just wish she'd take some time out to wash her greasy hair

The movie tries to sell you that the purpose of its plot
Is when you get your chance you make the most of your one shot
But underneath this theme is another peeking out
Self-awareness, methinks, is what this flick is all about
Em knows before it happens he'll get a kicking in his rear
And he wonders if "up here" should instead be "down here"
And the ending, I'll not spoil, but just let it be known
That cause Rabbit knows Rabbit, right to the bone,
A win is within his grasp, victory is his
The whole damn crowd will see that he's a freestylin' wiz
By turning his opponent's weapons onto himself
He's able to put his fears and failures back on the shelf
And when the battle's over and his friends just want to chant
He knows he needs his job at the metal stamping plant
"8 Mile" ain't a story about a hero reaching the top
It's about knowing yourself (... and Detroit hip-hop)

Recommended:
Yes