Some will tell you that it was the first release of "The Matrix". Others will point to the five-disc "Godfather Collection". Still others will back the Special Edition of "Ernest Has a Colonoscopy". But, for me, the first disc to truly justify the existence of this newfangled DVD technology has to be Rhino Home Video's "Happy Holiday Hearth".

Anyone who has spent their Christmas break tuned into the local public television channel, watching 3-4 logs crackle and pop as they burn on a non-stop loop, will know what I mean. Ironically or not, the Yule-log-via-cathode-ray phenomenon has been enjoyed by apartment dwellers and stoned slackers for years. Only, until now, you couldn't enjoy it outside the holiday season. With the purchase of this one DVD, your year-round fake-fireplace needs will be sated!

Don't be fooled by imitators and playa-haters, though. Rhino's "Happy Holiday Hearth" is the only "Happy Holiday Hearth" that gives you that true "Happy Holiday Hearth" feeling. Its 60-minutes of fabulous, in-colour burning-logness can't be beat, for my money. Though parents should be warned that the disc is "Not Rated". Be sure to view it yourself before letting your impressionable youngsters get a hold of it. Even better, you might want to watch the film together as a family. Afterwards you can even have a discussion about fire safety or proper log-stoking technique. Learning begins at home.

The disc features three separate audio tracks, to help give variety to your aural pleasure. On track one, soothe your senses with the Zen-like crackle of a roaring fire. Just remember that you have the disc on. Otherwise you're likely to leap into a panic in the middle of the night at the sound of a roaring fire in the next room, call the fire department, and/or flee the apartment in terror.

Track two features a selection of 23 holiday classics, from 'Ave Maria' to 'Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy', and every song with "Christmas" in the title in between. The songs are sincere, but pedestrian. Go to any mall in the country -- or pick up the latest Simpson sister album -- and you're likely to find more inspired arrangements. But what they lack in flash, the songs more than make up for with unabashed nondescriptiveness. They are designed to fill in the background, and to not distract you while you're trimming your tree or enhancing the structural engineering of your gingerbread house with still more icing.

For a more mature audience, the music tracks help expose some of Christmas' seedy underbelly. There's the creepy voyeurism of Kris Kringle in 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' ("He sees you when you're sleeping / He knows if you're awake" never fails to send shudders down my spine). Or the inherent racism of such staples as 'White Christmas', or 'The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)' (the line, "And folks dressed up like Eskimos", from the latter, should really be, "And folks dressed up like Inuits", if we are to consider the feelings of our Arctic brothers and sisters).

The third track lets you listen to both the crackling fire and the cheery carols. At the same time! There are some people who will tell you that you can't have everything. The "Happy Holiday Hearth" just proved them wrong.

A spectacular consumer product like this one doesn't just produce itself, as you probably could have guessed. A team of crack(ling) technicians and artists came together to make the "Happy Holiday Hearth" the perennial stocking stuffer it's sure to become.

Swedish director Woody Børnon oversaw the proceedings. With his firm hand, he navigates through a series of solid choices, to make the disc heartwarming for the whole family. His decision to shoot the fire straight on, instead of at an angle, may have upset some critics. But it allowed for maximum fire coverage, and that's really all that matters in a genre such as this one (critics be damned).

Shar Cole, expert editor, uses her deft touch and skilled hands to make the hour-long presentation seamless. Her choice to include an "endless loop" option allows the disc's users to keep the fire burning from Thanksgiving to New Year's Eve, if he/she so desires. Purists will lament the fact that we never see anyone actually stoking the fires. The virtual log we watched on TV growing up had an actor in to perform these duties, every once in a while. I wonder if his contract demands kept him out of this sequel. Maybe the bloggers will one day uncover this story, but for now the mystery remains.

Veteran cinematographer Heaton Licht skillfully illuminates the fire. He's managed to capture the intense heat of the flame on the right side of the screen, while also subtly showing how the burning on the left side is gentler, more specific, and more symbolic of the struggle of man for meaning in an unflinching universe. He's managed to pull off both of these tricks, and he's done it in a single two-shot. If this man doesn't at least get an Oscar nod this year, I'm burning my SAG card. In a real fire.

Amongst this experienced crew is one notable newcomer. Cam Bustible plays Log #1, stationed front and centre for the entirety of the narrative. He carries much of the fire, and even pours gas on the flames when it looks like the plot is losing momentum. Bustible is a new face whom I predict we'll be seeing a lot of in the future. He has the sly comic touch that would work well on a network sitcom, but also the dashing good looks and movie star charisma that should make him a box office draw on the big screen. A joy to watch.

(Thus endeth the section where silly puns and made-up names act as filler.)

For those amongst you who feel that Christmas has become too secular a holiday, the "Happy Holiday Hearth" has one last trick up its sleeve. The logs are arranged, as logs have been arranged since the dawn of time, in a pyramidal shape. Behind the logs, on the back wall of the fireplace, is a diagonally criss-crossing brickwork pattern. Both shapes look like arrows. It's like they're pointing to the sky, where Jesus lives. While the "Happy Holiday Hearth" provides virtual heat and simulated light, it also serves as a reminder of what the holiday season is really about. Pop it into your DVD player, stand back, and enjoy the Yuletide delight.

Recommended:
Yes

Viewing Format: DVD