Pros: I had a free pass from Gilette and didn't pay to see this movie.
Cons: I'll never get back that 107 minutes of my life.
The Bottom Line: If you can go into it with the mindframe that it is a cheesy, low-budget action movie, you may enjoy it. Don't expect the 2nd coming of the Matrix.
Equilibrium
Released December 6, 2002 (Limited Release, US)
Working title: Librium
Directed by Kurt Wimmer
Running time: 107 minutes
Rated R
Cast (shortlist):
Christian Bale.........Clerick John Preston
Taye Diggs.............Clerick Brandt
Emily Watson.........Mary O'Brian
Angus MacFadyen...Master Clerick
Sean Bean..............Clerick Partridge
William Fichtner.......Rebel Leader
Here's a true story: This evening, I went to see a movie called "Equilibrium." Now normally, I save every movie ticket and throw them in a shoebox filled with precious mementos. On my trip through the parking lot, I pulled out my Zippo and proceeded to burn my ticket. Then proceeded to speed home, so I could take an extremely violent crap. I don't know what was worse; how painful the bowel movement was, or how painful the movie was.
Roger Ebert gave this movie 3 stars out of 4. As soon as I'm done writing this review, I'm going to track him down and force-feed him his review. Laced with strychnine. I realize you're probably thinking, "Shouldn't the punishment fit the crime?" But frankly, I'm a busy man, and I don't have time for 6 months of chakra torture.
It's possible you're asking yourself, "Equilibrium? That's funny, I don't remember any commercials on the TV/Radio/Internet." And you'd be right - as far as I can determine, there were no TV or radio spots, and the trailer has only been available on Apple.com since December 2nd. I can only imagine that the producers, upon seeing the final edit, realized they had an absolute bomb on their hands and attempted to cut their losses.
I suppose you're expecting some sort of review of the movie, so I guess I should make an attempt. Then again, if I put as much effort into this review as writer/director Kurt Wimmer put into his screenplay, I could call it a day right now.
"Equilibrium" gives us a society, Libria, which is opiated by a drug known as Prozium, a necessity after World War III. The survivors in power decided that it was man's emotion that led to war, and in order to prevent any such future occurrences, they constructed a society based on emotionlessness. This is aided by the destruction of all art, music, and cultural relics, not to mention 3 doses a day of the aforementioned Prozium injection.
Those who forsake the drug and embrace their humanity are known as "Sense Offenders," and these criminals are tended to by an elite class of soldiers known as Grammaton Clericks. And by "tended to," I mean "Terminated with extreme prejudice."
Within the first 20 minutes of the film, we've encountered Clerick John Preston, played by Christian Bale, watched him kill his partner for being a Sense Offender, and discovered his wife was executed for Sense offenses 4 years earlier. But thanks to his Prozium doses, he doesn't seem to mind much. Watching this movie, I suddenly wished they made a drug which made horrible movies tolerable.
All is well and good in emotionless Libria, until Preston accidentally knocks a vial of his Prozium off the bathroom sink, and doesn't have time to pick up another dose before interrogating Mary O'Brien. As a sidenote, Mary is played by Emily Watson, whose performance was nothing short of a sidenote. Suddenly, he is overwhelmed with emotion, and continues to abstain from his medication, leading him to question authority and rebel. And by "rebel," I mean "Terminate with extreme prejudice."
I suppose you're expecting me to say something along the lines of, "At this point, the movie degenerates into a Matrix-wannabe." Unfortunately, the movie was one from the moment Preston and his partner show up to tend to the first lot of Sense Offenders. Christian Bale was dripping with Keanuosity, from the slicked-back black hair, black garb, and generally emotionless acting ability.
Although one would be hesitant to mention the dullness of his performance, given the fact he was on the drug, he was only on the drug for the first 20 minutes. After that, I would've expected him to suddenly become warm and likeable. Instead, he merely dives into his best Keanu Reeves impersonation and begins dealing with ludicrous amounts of heavily armed soldiers in his attempt to overthrow Libria's regime. And by "dealing with," I mean, "Terminating with extreme prejudice."
During the course of the movie, we are subjected to no less than 6 major gun fight scenes, not a single one of them memorable. The Clericks display incredible superhuman agility and strength, which would be fine if this was the Matrix, but this isn't. It's set in the future, in the "real world," and yet we're supposed to digest the idea that humans can jump 20 feet into the air and dodge the bullets of 20 close-range gunmen using "statistical probability."
I suppose by now you're thinking to yourself, "This movie sounds awful. I should go see it just for the cheese factor." This is where I warn you that I saw the Transporter, the One, and XXX, and I enjoyed both on a cheesy action movie level. I feel confident saying this movie makes abysmal blush. Gut-wrenchingly-awful could stand next to this movie and therefore look attractive in comparison. After seeing this movie, ritual seppuku seemed like a fun way to pass the time.
This movie will be the low marks on the resumes of actors and actresses like Christian Bale, Taye Diggs, Sean Bean, and Emily Watson. Kurt Wimmer, whose visuals were forgettable and his screenplay full of clichés and attempts to rip off many other successful movies and books, will hopefully never write a screenplay again. I never thought I'd see a movie "inspired" by 1984, Brave New World, and the Matrix which was so...I seem to be running out of synonyms for "bad." You get the idea. I sincerely hope the entire special effects team returns to throwing together low-budget effects for advertising, because Terminator 2 had more believable special effects.
In short: Do not see this movie. Ever. If you see it on movie store shelves, run in the opposite direction, screaming. If not for yourself, then at least for the children. Do it for the children.
In a futuristic world, emotion is outlawed and human behavior is controlled by a drug, Prozium, that hinders emotion. A government official is in char...More at HotMovieSale.com
Delivering awesome high-tech action in the power-packed style of The Matrix and Minority Report, Equilibrium stars Christian Bale (Reign Of Fire) and ...More at Buy.com Marketplaces
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