Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie's plot.

I have seen a lot of cheesy comedies in my time, but the 2000 film Table One, qualifies as one of the worst of the pseudo genre. This film combines an inane plot with senseless dialog and one dimensional characters, for what amounts to an air head comedy celebrating the male ego.

The spare plot centers around a disparate group of young businessmen who become tired of the competitive singles scene and decide to open a trendy Manhattan nightclub in order to attract potential sexual partners. The group consists of stereotypical characters including a gay bouncer, Xavier (Luis Guzman) an uncouth hockey player, Rowdy (Michael Rooker) a controlling mobster, Frankie Chips (Burt Young) and his sidekick Jimmy, (Stephen Baldwin) and a quirky wannabe actor Norman. (David Herman) The unlikely partners run into trouble when they discover that their financial backer, Frankie Chips, has ties to the Mafia and wants to turn the night club into a seedy topless bar.

This film is the Directorial debut for Producer Michael Scott Bregman (Carlito's Way) who also wrote the cumbersome script. It consists primarily of pointless, humorless, dialog including petty one-up-manship battles for the coveted head table (Table One) in the restaurant and crass, macho, sexist remarks. Though billed as a comedy, the humor falls flat as we witness Norman bragging to his partners that his dentist has a human vagina in a jar in his office. In another shabby scene, Norman's repressed parents show up at the club unexpectedly, only to find it filled with topless dancers. The embarrassed, befuddled, Norman tries to soften the blow by telling them that they have crashed a rare bachelor party. As if this were not enough, Bregman adds insult by injury by choosing a dated soundtrack of Paul Anka music.

Admittedly, one or two scenes work fairly well such as Xavier's efforts to increase the flow of business by hiring people to stand outside in line like extras in a movie. This backfires, however, when they demand union benefits such as an hour for lunch. Another somewhat amusing scene takes place when Norman finally convinces a pert blond to come up to his apartment for an intimate evening, and he winds up hugging the toilet, instead of the girl, after overindulging in expensive champagne.

My gut feeling is that Table One is meant to be a social satire on singles life in the Big Apple, but it lacks the depth and sharp edged humor to carry it off. Instead, we have a conversation driven piece that takes place in a nightclub, except for a few scattered scenes. The aimlessness of the plot reminds me of the television sitcom Seinfeld, without the sophisticated wit and lively repartee among more fully developed dysfunctional characters.

The best features of the film, are the panoramic views and street scenes of Manhattan, and the efforts of the fine ensemble cast. Unfortunately they are wasted on such lame material despite Luis Guzman's edgy performance as the narrator, strong characterizations of mobsters by Stephen Baldwin and Burt Young, and Micheal Rooker's raucous impersonation of an aging hockey player.

Table One reminds me of some of Adam Sandler's pre- Punch-Drunk Love fiascoes. It's somewhere between The Wedding Singer and Happy Gilmore with the schizoid plot of the former the tiresome shtick of the latter.



Recommended: No

Viewing Format: VHS
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age