SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT is a Slayride Inc./Tri-Star Pictures presentation, unrated but containing graphic violence/gore, strong sexual content, including attempted rape and nudity, and strong language. The run time is 85 minutes and the theatrical release date November 9, 1984.
SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 is rated R for all the same reasons part one is unrated for. This presentation of Silent Night Releasing Corporation is 88 mins. long and had opened in theaters on April 10, 1987.

When chestnuts are roasting on an open fire and jack frost nips at your nose, Santa Claus is not so far away he can’t lop your dome off with his trusty fire axe. Nope, it’s not the Insane Clown Posse’s Christmas Film, but Anchor Bay’s proud DVD release of the golden Santa schlock slasher, SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT, and it’s ultra-lousy sequel, SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2, on a specially priced DVD Double Feature.

It all began with the original infamous drive-in flick from 1984. Little Billy Chapman is heading with Mommy, Daddy, and baby brother Ricky to visit his catatonic grandfather at the Utah Mental Facility. It’s Christmas Eve, and Billy is all but excited about getting presents from Jolly Ol’ St. Nick, until Grandpa unleashes a startling revelation when he’s left alone with Billy. Santa brings presents to those who have been good all year, but punishes those who have been naughty. Billy hasn‘t been good all year, and so Grandpa fires back with “You see Santa Claus tonight, you better run…for your life!.” Cut to the ride back home, and we see a scene where a convenience store clerk takes three bullets from a robber in a Santa Claus outfit.

That same maniac appears in the road and waves down the passing car. Billy doesn’t want them to stop, but they do. The result: father takes a couple of slugs, and mother has her throat sliced. Billy and Ricky are taken into Saint Mary’s Home for Orphaned Children. Billy hasn’t gotten over the tragedy in the course of several years, and is drawing violent holiday pictures. The headmaster of the school, the vinegar-spirited Mother Superior, is a strict believer in punishment and decides to belt-whip into shape, which proves ultimately unsuccessful over time. The brilliant harridan also knows that the proper way to help people cope with nightmares is by tying them to their bedposts so that they can have some more bad dreams. Needless to say, Billy grows increasingly screwed-up, and it all comes to a head when Billy is forced to sit on Santa’s lap.

Now Billy is a young adult, and Sister Margaret gets him work as a stockroom clerk in a toy store. Devoted to his job and having some fun times, Billy might just be having a nice life…until Christmas comes around once again. The guy who is hired to play Santa Claus ends up injured, and the owner turns to Billy for help. You should never hire a guy whose idea of Santa Claus is a homicidal killer, but that’s alright. After closing early on Christmas Eve, the employees bust out the alcohol and party equipment. Billy takes a couple of drinks, listens to his hammered-as-nails manager, and decides to take the Santa Claus act literally. He starts by choking the sleazeball employee who nearly rapes the pretty female employee, and when she refuses the help, he guts her with a box-cutter. He then murders his boss with a claw-hammer and his wife with a bow-and-arrow.

Billy gets out of the store and starts going door-to-door, murdering horny teenagers and weasel-faced lowlifes with all sorts of cutlery, including his trusty fire axe. He encounters a child who’s actually been good, and gives her a pop-up knife as a present. What a guy. Just wait until he sets his sights toward Saint Mary’s to give Mother Superior her present! Can the police find the Santa Claus Killer in time?!

This is a very mean-spirited and unnerving film, but I can’t truly abhor it. There’s something mildly affective about the premise of a young man f*cked up beyond belief and whom snaps at the sight of tinsel and holly. But pasting it unto an all-too-typical slasher film format, this draws an uneasy balance between psychological and just plain psycho, and it better be one well-made film for it to work. Alas, SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT is highly mediocre. Directed with motion-sensitive redundancy and apparent lack of energy by Charles E. Sellier, Jr., this movie works as a character study, but is too predictable to appreciate.

The sympathetic characters are developed in a lousy manner so that we can get more of the evil people. The Mother Superior character is the movie’s dominant character, who is so absolutely uncaring and proud that she hardly notices the psychological damage inflicted on Billy, an incident which she claims he knows nothing about. GET A F*CKING CLUE, SISTER! The boy’s folks got shot by a perv in a Santa outfit! Christmas is the last time of year you’d want to assault this fella. It doesn’t help that the performance by Lilyan Chauvin is G-R-A-T-I-N-G.

The Sister Margaret character is simply on hand for the Look. By that, I mean the Look of Anticipated Surprise, a law which requires the only person aware of a person’s evil interior to look like he/she knew that the said person would finally lose the marbles. Maybe to put in a broader sense the Look of Dread, as she always makes some melancholy facial expression at a given moment. And don’t forget the Old Man, who’s always on hand to warn people of a curse/entity/monster/etc. We’ve seem that before as well.

I give this movie credit for a couple more things though, although I’m not sure they are real worthy praises. First, they attempt to justify the decision for Billy to punish those in the sexual act. Billy saw two teens making out until Mother Superior intervened and supposedly beat them into unconsciousness with a belt, so even if you don’t know the old HALLOWEEN-inspired legacy of murdering horny youngsters, you’ll get a bigger sense of it. And also, there’s plenty of gore and nudity, seemingly the only standards on which a 1980s horror flick can be judged on. Just remember that if a female character exposes her breasts with or without force, she’s soon to have her organs decked all over the halls.

As for Billy, Robert Brian Wilson didn’t impress me all that much (his “Punish!” outcry is too deep and bothersome, like he foresaw himself reincarnated as Judge Dredd), and he does a very poor expression of anguish. I did sympathize with him, even as he strung would-be rapists with Christmas lights and the whole rest of the massacre. I shunned cognitive dissonance, I know, God help me. That moment he has with a young girl who says she’s been nice all year was intriguing. And he does have presence, although it could have used some acting lessons on the side. The only person in the cast who I found the least bit interesting is…you know, Linnea Quigley. In 1984, she made me erect with a striptease in a certain zombie film and she’s back to give all male heteros another impotence test. How can you not admire a girl who goes out in the cold Winter weather topless? Wait until you see how she buys the farm.

Besides, all this could have been saved had anyone tried to talk some sense into Billy, or maybe…stupid idea, I know…take him to a SHRINK! I’m trying to take this movie seriously, because it is serious. Hell, it even uses those ominous, discordant bell sounds in dark moments! I guess a lot of people took it serious as well, although they were more focused on Santa’s appearance as an idol for youngsters so much they forced Tri-Star Pictures in stopping its theatrical run. Shouldn’t these parents be shielding younger kids from movies like these in the first place? If not for the morality, at least for the entertainment value of this two-star lump of coal.

Picture quality was for the most part superb (this is a widescreen transfer at aspect ratio 1.85:1), but the flaws were highly evident. Despite presenting a nice palette of colors that include lots of brights and proper flesh tones, instances appeared throughout (mostly during the more graphic murder scenes) where the image looked like a shoddy video transfer, with faded sharpness, bleeding colors and annoying vertical static lines. Grain and haloes popped up in a few of these sections, and as a result, these moments came off as poor and ill-defined. However, I reiterate that these were just a few instances and particularly in re-edited gore shots. Other than that, no problems to report. Dolby Digital 1.0 mono is the faithful soundtrack option, which has plenty of well-recorded music and dialogue, and also some proper sound effects, but little else in the way of attention-grabbing noise.

Before the movie starts, there is a text intro that acknowledges the flaws, stating that this is the most uncut version of the film in availability and that most sources are poorer than the others. Oh well, be happy with what you have got…no need to be NAUGHTY!

An audio interview with director Charles E. Sellier, Jr. was conducted over the phone. A 20-year old movie, he seems to remember quite a few things about the film he made. With this nice 36-minute piece, he reflects on his early feature film experience, reflects on the storyline and the conception of the film, and also remembers a small bit of the controversy which plagued this film. He did tend not to notice the actual hoopla, and also refused to make a sequel because he didn’t like directing and also hated the public outrage. The interviewer also asks Sellier about the other themes of Catholicism and psychology which was debated among the film, and Sellier also remembers no deep issues on any topic except for the acknowledgement that things do happen.

There’s a poster/still gallery which contains 20 frames worth of production/lobby photos and marketing images. Finally: Santa’s Stocking of Outrage. A collection of editorials and critical blurbs featured here all shame this one for general incompetence as well as it’s depiction of Santa Claus as an axe-murderer, and we get one small piece that describes the aftermath.

Ho ho ho-ly sh*t! SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 from 1987 picks up with Billy’s brother, Ricky (Eric Freeman), locked up in a mental institution. For budgetary reasons, the makers of this sequel had to use some of the old film footage for flashback purposes, and about a half-hour of the first flick is mentioned by Ricky and spliced into the film. They do use quite a lot of materials, including complete murder sequences from the first film as well as truncated clips from the Saint Mary’s torment of Billy. The funny thing is that I don’t remember Ricky actually recalling who Billy killed on his murder spree, or his actual methods of killing, but never mind. Must be a psychic connection, which would also describe why Ricky remembers everything Mother Superior said directly to Billy.

Ricky is telling this to Dr. Henry Bloom (James Newman), who has the unfortunate task of acting along one of the hammiest psychos in history. Ricky himself grew up with Jewish foster parents, but he’s a violent psycho nonetheless. If he sees someone using or abusing someone else, by golly he’s going to teach them a lesson. And Ricky’s got it easy as well: unlike Billy, he is complimented for murdering a potential date rapist. Ricky even finds love with a blonde knockout named Jennifer. But not even love gets in the way of destiny, and after a shooting spree in the suburbs, Ricky is captured by police. Hence, his current transfer to the nut house. But Ricky busts out, locates the nearest axe, murders a shmoe in a Santa Claus suit, and heads on his way to finish off that Mother Superior. And he does, all the while you‘re dreaming of sugar plums yourself to keep the stink of this film out of your head.

Let me just get one thing off my chest: the continuity with this film in relation to earlier events is more skewered than a shish kabob. When we see Santa get shot in front of Ricky in the first film, Ricky announces it was really the body of the janitor, Old Man Kelsey. Silly Ricky, since it was really Father O’Brien who died before him, because that was the name of the man when they mentioned it in the first film. And Ricky also forgot that Sister Margaret got Billy that job at the local toy store, as a stockroom clerk, and not Mother Superior, who is evil enough, but looks as if she purposely sent Billy off to slaughter.

There is some new material to be found, but first you have to wade through said half-hour of recycled material intertwined with lame wraparound banter with Ricky and the Doc. I’ve seen better mind games on an episode of “Family Matters” than there is with these two dopes. James Newman holds some dignity, but Eric Freeman’s performance is so hellaciously off-the-wall, it strikes a wild balance between painfulness and hilarity. It’s like having the dentist from LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS work on your teeth, but not giving you enough gas so you don’t wince and whimper as his power drill pierces your teeth. He has this bizarre habit of moving his eyebrows with every syllable he utters, and his line deliveries are responsible for some really awful yet unforgettable lines. “Red car! Good point!” “You tend to get paranoid when everyone around you gets dead.” “GARBAGE DAY!” That last one was one of my favorites, in a scene where he shoots a bullet through a garbage can that manages to hit the man shielding himself with it.

That brings me to the one similarity that ties this to the first film other than plot elements: similarity. We’re going through the motions again, as we see Ricky finally react to some boorish sex fiend with such ferocity that he just has to murder everyone in his path, including garbage man as well as somebody in a passing car. The ending itself contains two bizarre semi-knock-offs of the classic moment in THE SHINING when Jack Nicholson starts chopping down doors with an axe. I was expecting to hear something like “HEEERE’S RICKY!” in the background, but I got instead “MOTHER SUPERIOOOOOOR! I GOT A PRESENT FOR YOOOOUUUU!” I felt my tummy groooowl as a response.

There is gore to be found here, like there was in the first film. However, this film contains something that outdoes the antler-impalement in the first film, as one character is seen with a car battery charger in his mouth and he sucks up so many volts his eyeballs explode from their sockets. Ho ho ho. The most gruesome thing is Mother Superior’s face, which looks like it has been raped by a weasel. Jean Miller steps in for Lilyan Chauvin, but even if they could’ve got Ellen Burstyn, the film still would’ve sucked. Lee Harry directed and edited this film, but it’s hard to believe he paved the way for Robert Rodriguez.

The only saving grace here is that we get to see Linnea Quigley naked, but then again it’s in a flashback sequence that shouldn’t be there. If you haven’t seen the first film, see this sequel and you’ll see the highlights, and then marvel at the fact that you are seeing two bad movies for the price of one, the latter integer applies to how many stars this film gets. However, Anchor Bay has saved you the trouble of seeking out part 2 by itself and also part one as well. That POLTERGEIST II/III DVD release seems mighty tempting when you compare it to this crap.

The widescreen picture quality is for the most part passable, only considerably bearing the wear of age in some frames. Dirt and grain particularly make their presence here, as well as some rather passé color hues. I guess this must be good news for anyone who ever wanted to see Santa paint the mistletoe red in 1.85:1, but I’m not a candidate for that crowd. The soundtrack is Dolby Digital 1.0 yet again, so we don’t need to bolster the sound effects or have surround sound jungle bells. It’s good just the way it is, with audible dialogue and neat-sounding music.

The audio commentary features writer/director Harry, co-writer Joseph Earle, and actor Newman. They do ramble on with plenty of jokes and comments for the first half, when they watch the other film, and mention them having to re-record some effects and music. They even fail to notice the continuity errors in their referencing to original. They do get into the editing of the original footage though, including some tighter pacing in the more violent footage. And they also notice the eyebrows. However, when they get into some MST3K-type banter, they forget that Mike Nelson cracks wise much better than they can. There’s a lot of repeated elements, such as Newman’s insistence on needing work with this one, but for the most part, they attempt to skewer the first film as well as their own film, and come off as mistaken and for the most part unfunny.

Only on DVD-ROM can you view this movie’s original screenplay, which actually notes the scenes from the original movie that are placed to fill in pages. Finally, the disc closes with the dopey theatrical trailer and a 42-frame poster and still gallery.

The DVD package is your basic clamshell, with a special booklet containing six pages worth of historical text from Adam Rockoff as well as some nifty color photos and chapter selection listings for both films.

I wish you a scary Christmas and a deadly new year, but pick up GREMLINS instead of this one. Hell, rent that Bill Murray film, SCROOGED, anything but this. Only bad movie connoisseurs could possibly find something to enjoy about these two feature films, and even I lost my patience.

Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: Good for Groups
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age