Plot Details: This opinion reveals major details about the movie's plot.

One of the perks of having a father in the video industry is the free screening copies of movies you would have no earthly reason to consider watching, much less purchasing.

Upon visiting my family for the holidays, I received, in addition to the fine gifts from my relatives, a collection of screening copies of movies that, simply put, my parents had no desire to watch. Often, the studios send free copies of direct-to-video or obscure independent films in order to entice the store's buyer into purchasing copies, or at least allow the staff to give the customer an idea of what kind of movie it is.

Occasionally, a gem can be hidden amidst the crap that is usually found on these DVDs. Most of the time, however, we receive the aforementioned crap. Hence, this review of the film Shredders, which is even bad by the standards of bad direct-to-video horror movies.

The premise, such as it is, is that a bunch of wild-and-crazy snowboarder kids ("shredders") and their various friends and hangers-on, head off to a prospective property that one of the kids' parents are looking at buying: specifically, an old family-owned ski lodge that has been long since abandoned.

I suppose it goes without saying that the lodge is haunted by the spirit of a young girl who was killed in a horrible snowboard-related accident that was caused by the irresponsible behavior of the snowboarders, causing the girl's father, owner of the lodge, to swear vengeance upon all those dang snowboarders that won't follow the rules. Maybe that went without saying, but I said it anyway.

The batch is your typical collection of slasher-movie stereotypes: the slut, the tease, the macho studly guy, the attractive-but-non-threatening guy, the dweeby stoner, and the guy-who-gets-killed-so-quickly-he-doesn't-have-a-stereotype-except-for-being-the-killed-guy guy. Just for kicks, and to give us a fresh new addition to the mix, we have the ambiguously straight girl, who everyone thinks is a lesbian but really actually isn't. While actually adding little to the plot, it gives the writers the opportunity to give us such brilliant one-liners as "you're names Pike...rhymes with dyke?". Yep, really grade A material here.

Anyway, despite a series of admonitions by several shady-looking and potentially dangerous individuals that live nearby, the group decides to stick out the weekend in the spooky and deserted ski lodge, doing some high-class "shreddin'" and maybe a little bit of sexual hijinks in between (hey, you can't have a slasher movie without a bare breast or two). Meanwhile, a mysterious black-clad figure keeps picking off the youths one-by-one, using obvious, idiotic and cliche methods of death.

Look, I recognize that slasher movies are pretty cliche by nature, but...really. Decapitation. Strangled by a ski lift. Stabbed with an icicle (really...haven't seen that one before. *yawn*). And...a hatchet?! C'mon! Haven't we used that one about 75,000 times before?

Beyond that, this film uses a level of technical sophistication that puts it on par with the finest of special effects artists of the early 1950s. Of course, with the film being made in this present decade, the use of mannequins as stand-ins in the role of a dead body in close up shots is just a bit out-dated.

On the other hand, the mannequins are about as competent of actors as the "stars" of this movie. I don't really blame them for this, since it becomes fairly clear that their choice of casting for this film was based on their physical appearance in underwear. I say this because many characters spend unbelievably long periods of time (considering they are in the snow!) in panties. Sure, they are pretty enough panties, and the girls do look good in them, but I can rent a video specifically for that, if that's what I'm going for. At least in theory, a good slasher movie should combine titillation and fright. This movie offers a small amount of the former and almost none of the latter.

So committed to maintaining formula is this film that almost anyone familiar with the basics of slasher films should be able to guess how many people live (2), their genders (1 male, 1 female), and, most likely, who they are. It's even pretty predictable who the killer turns out to be.

While I acknowledge I'm not the biggest horror movie fan around, I do know a good horror movie when I see it. This isn't one of them. Its not exciting, not scary, not well filmed or scripted. Its not even funny, outside of a couple moments when the writing is so bad it sounds like a joke. Director/co-writer Greg Huson and his fellow writer Craig Carlson may wish to consider a new career, because this movie is bad even by the standards of bad movies.

Recommended: No

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older