Takedown Masters - Wrestling Vixens: Exposed

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Wrestling Vixens: Exposed is not worth fast-forwarding through

Aug 19, 2008 (Updated Aug 19, 2008)
Review by  
Rated a Very Helpful Review


Cons:production, the women themselves, poor audio quality...

The Bottom Line: Worthless. Do yourself a favor and avoid this at all costs.

Plot Details: This opinion reveals no details about the movie's plot.

With all of the terrific cinema that has fallen through the cracks, probably never to surface again on home video product of any type, it never ceases to astonish me the kind of garbage that somehow makes its way onto DVD. Case in point, Takedown Masters Presents: Wrestling Vixens Exposed. Ok, I know you're telling me that this DVD's main purpose is to showcase naked women from the world of pro wrestling, but the least that they could do is make this at least somewhat entertaining or, heaven for bid, erotic. Instead, this disc is a complete waste; the women look bad, are apparently thoroughly bored throughout this, and the program is just awful.

This DVD in fact exists for the sole reason mentioned above: to showcase nudity from the "hottest" women in wrestling. While initially this may sound enticing, in reality, Vixens is just a waste of 80 minutes of your life. I honestly sat down to watch this the other day (with a few beers mind you), but there simply was NO FREAKIN WAY anyone could actually sit through this program. Even as purely masturbatory material, this one is just trash.

So the women... Well for your money here, you get seven women from the world of pro wrestling stripping out of rather bland costumes. The disc seems to have been filmed at a series of photoshoots involving the women, so at no time to they really seem to be particularly interested in the video camera that is before them. All seem to be pretty unamused, uninterested, and frequently awkward performing their routines.

The disc starts with porn star turned wrestling valet Kristi Myst, who's silicone-enhanced breasts seem to be the focus of her entire set. Kristi at the very least seems to be having fun, playing for the camera to some extent and at least looking interested.

Next up is Tammy "Sunny" Sytch, who at one time was perhaps the most desired woman in the World Wrestling Federation. Here, obviously past her prime, Sytch looks particularly awkward stripping for the cameras. This woman is perhaps the biggest selling point for this disc, but really, her routine is hugely disappointing and certainly won't really impress many of her fans except for those who (really) desperately want to see her naked.

Missy Hyatt, mainstay of numerous indie wrestling federations, makes an appearance, looking particularly unattractive not to mention old. Hyatt reminds me of a cross between Chasey Lain and Heidi Fleiss and er set is almost sickness-inducing, but she plays it up for the camera to some extent.

The disc rounds out with a trio of women from indie federations who appear to be on the disc for the sole purpose of filling up running time. Rayn, who prior to this disc had a body and face resembling the rail-thin Selma Blair, shows off the best boobs money can buy, and appears to enjoy playing with them. Brittney Lynn is kind of cute, but looks damn uninterested in the shoot, expressionless and lethargic during her segment. Finally, we get Mona Harcox in a shoot that mainly consists of post-production effects.

After all the girls get their little individual scenes, the program allows us some footage of the women together, indulging in rather tame soft-core playing. Really nothing on here is exciting in the least. For my taste, there's too much plastic, and most of the women don't seem to be having any fun at all.

While this disc does feature full nudity, most of the camera time is focused on the (frequently plastic) busts of these women. As with many Playboy shoots of famous people, the subjects and/or producers seem somewhat unwilling and/or uncomfortable with filming below the waist.

The actual production on this disc is part of the problem. While it seems they got someone editing this who at least knew what they were doing, evidenced by the numerous post-production touches, the footage is too often interrupted by slow-motion video effects that I would assume were trying to make the program more "sensual" and less "forced" and "awkward." This doesn't really work. In the end, the entirety of this disc looks very forced and very awkward, and just about anything but "sensual."

Added to the footage is an irritating music score that sounds like grade-Z imitations of popular bands. The music reaches headache-inducing levels quickly, and proceeds to get even worse. That's not even counting the fact that the sound mixing is horrendous, resulting in really uneven audio quality filled with pops and clicks as the mixing maxes out.

To be honest, in my book there's absolutely no reason why anyone would want this disc. Most of these women could probably be seen in the buff in other places that probably would be more enjoyable than wasting time with this. Even as a stimulation aid, this disc just doesn't cut it. You'll end up fast-forwarding the whole thing; there's no good "money shots" to be had. The women, while physically attractive at times, just don't look erotic in the least in the context of this program, and unless you desperately want some projections of nude women in your life, I would skip this and certainly not waste any money on it.

Recommend this product? No

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age

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