Pros: Zombie sequences are good, as well as some campy champagne filled laughs.
Cons: It's way too long in setting things up, most of which it forgets anyway.
The Bottom Line: This movie doesn't know if it wants to be completely horror or completely porn, which is irritating, yet the movie manages to entertain.
caligula79's Full Review: Erotic Nights of the Living Dead
"Erotic Nights of the Living Dead" is sort of a sister film with "Porno Holocaust." Both films were shot nearly back to back. They feature the same cast of actors, roughly the same "terror island" plotline, plus a combination of horror and hardcore pornography, and are both directed by Joe D'Amato. Well, the truth is, I absolutely hate "Porno Holocaust." I hate every minute of that film. The sex in the film is absolutely nothing shocking or spectacular, or even erotic, and it goes on for way too damn long. The horror in that film is nearly non existent. A well endowed radioactive zombie falls in love with a block of wood, aka the lead actress, and he doesn't appear till about halfway into the thing! That film was a very long two hours. Yes, I said two hours. Two whole, fully complete hours. That's like sitting through a 3 hours version of "Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals."
So...what is "Erotic Nights of the Living Dead" compared to "Porno Holocaust"? It's easy to assume that both films, with their similarities, would be about equal in their cause to humiliate me, despite the fact that they both have fantastic titles. You know what, though. "Erotic Nights" isn't as bad. This film is "Nosferatu" compared to "Porno Holocaust." You can choose any version of "Nosferatu" that you want. Even "Shadow of the Vampire." I don't know, maybe there was a sense that everyone involved seem to try a little harder in this film, and boy do I ever mean in more ways than one. Look at it this way, not only is there a tad bit more plot in this film and the acting isn't as wretched, but also, and this is the 100% truth, the men actually get it up in this film. Could be lack of whiskey, could be that they actually enjoyed making "Erotic Nights of the Living Dead."
My viewing experiences of both films were the same. I was hanging out with some friends, eating some toast, and watching some good old fashioned Italian entertainment. The viewing of "Porno Holocaust" was horrible, just about like you would expect it to be. It just wasn't happening with that film. "Erotic Nights" contains some fantastic scenes. These few scenes left us both laughing and talking. You know how there are often parts that happen in movies where you will just instantly forgive everything else that happens because of that one part just shined from the heaven's above? It's like that with this film, and most of us are athiests! Even still, this is not a very good film. It has as many flaws as the Nazi party, but these scenes carried the movie for us, as a group. One of them imparticular is ingenious. The rest of the film is what it is, but I urge you to seek out this movie for that one moment, because everyone (even Jehovah's Witnesses) loves to say "wow, it's not even my birthday."
Let me put it to you this way. This movie is like a mugger. You're walking through the park, then the mugger comes up to you, threatens you, takes your wallet, which contains about 20 bucks, and then mysteriously sticks something in your pocket. After that, he runs off. You wonder what the hell just happened, did you just get robbed? That is until you reach in your pocket, and pull out a nice piece of finely wrapped peanut brittle, which the mugger had slipped in there before he left. You say to yourself "I love peanut brittle!" Instantly making you very happy you came across this mugger. As you're going home, you are continuously munching on this delicious piece of nutty goodness. Then you go inside your house, and once in your bedroom you see that your rather old sheets have been replaced by beautiful linens. A note reads "thought you could use these, love the mugger." That's pretty damn cool of that guy, and guess what, the sheets feel great! You wake up the next morning, after the best sleep you've ever gotten, and you also don't have the slightest ounce of food poisoning from the brittle. It's official that the mugger was a pretty damn cool guy, despite the fact that he did indeed rob you of your wallet and that 20 bucks, plus he threatened to kill you. But who cares? You got peanut brittle and linens. Now that is how I feel about "Erotic Nights of the Living Dead."
Before I ultimately forget, let me tell you what the general plot of this film is. Wow, this shouldn't really take too long. An American hotel developer/womanizer (Mark Shannon) manages to purchase a mysterious island known only as Cat Island. Apparently this island is cursed, and with a name like that, it probably smells kind of funny as well. The business man plans a trip to the island with his girlfriend (Dirce Funari) and also the sailor who agrees to take them there (George Eastman, of course). Once at the island, it seems to be pretty well abandoned aside from a hastily put together graveyard, plus two followers of voodoo: an old man who doesn't say too much, and a ghostly Laura Gemser (who has a lot of powers, but the best one is when she manages to put her clothes back on after they've been thrown in the ocean). Gemser warns of atrocities that will soon take place on the island, and even gives Eastman a tiny statuette that will protect him from the forces of evil. Those forces being zombies that arise in the final act to chow down on the three visitors.
Here's how the movie goes wrong. Naturally, like with "Porno Holocaust," D'Amato and screenwriter Eastman manage to drag this film out much longer than it ever needs to be. A plot like that, you think, maybe 90 minutes, roughly. This movie goes on for nearly 115 minutes. Most of that is due to the inclusion of hardcore pornography inserted wherever it deems necessary. Thankfully in this film, most of the hardcore action is in place of where most of the "character development" would mostly be. When we first see Mark Shannon, he is screwing two prostitutes in a shower, then he goes next door to have sex with his neighbor. George Eastman softcorely screws Lucia Ramirez, who all but disappears halfway into the movie, with no complaints from me. A lot of this goes on longer than it needs to, but I guess it is handled better in this film. In "Porno Holocaust" the characters would be running from the zombie and then start humping on a log washed up to shore. In this film they actually seem to be kind of afraid when the zombies turn up.
I'll admit that sometimes the mixture of hardcore pornography and graphic horror violence works in films. It worked in "Caligula" and in D'Amato's own "Caligula: The Untold Story," because they didn't come across as being a just gimmick, they had reasons for being there, and were worked in so tightly that it felt intricate to the plot, which they were, and if certain scenes didn't come across that way, it certainly would not overstay it's welcome. The sex and violence played off eachother nicely in those films. They were there when they needed to be, and gone when they didn't. In some instances, one wouldn't have existed without the other. D'Amato also put it to good use in "Emanuelle in America," a glorification of campy, sleazy sex and violence. In this film, D'Amato has no idea what he wants to do with the two genres. It seems like he wants to make two completely different, full length films. On the one hand, it's a hardcore pornographic film, but none of the sex is all that interesting, and when Gemser and Funari are having sex on the beach, it doesn't look like two women making love, it looks like two really awkward straight actresses who don't have a hardcore clause in their contract.
But then it also wants to be a full on horror film. There's a scene earlier in the film where Eastman kills a zombie that is, for some reason, floating near his boat, before they even sail to the island. Two coroners are also killed by a zombie. This doesn't have anything to do with anything. It's hardly mention later on in the movie, and by the end everyone involved has completely forgotten that it has happened. It's only there to remind people that it is a horror film as well. The sex and violence don't play off each other in this film at all. How would they have played off eachother you ask? If the zombies screwed. Now, if this had been a Jess Franco flick, it would be two completely different versions of the same film, but in two different genres: horror and porn, one completely cancelling out the other. They would also have two or more different titles. "Erotikill" (aka "Female Vampire") is a prime example.
That's the mugger part of the movie. But where does the peanut brittle and the soft new linens come into play? Okay, now check this out. There's a scene in this film where George Eastman is sitting in a strip club. I have no idea what he is doing there, this scene makes no sense, but I do not care. Let me tell you what happens in this scene. Eastman is the only one in the strip club. I guess no one else likes the stripper. She is on stage, doing a little strip tease, then she manages to take out an uncorked bottle of champagne. Now, all of us watching this are joking around, thinking of where the scene just might be going if we had in fact written the script. Well, the scene keeps going. She is teasing the bottle, and then she sets it down on the stage, still dancing around it. Ultimately, what we had all guessed happens. She sits down on the top of the champagne bottle and begins grinding the thing. Believe me, I'm trying to explain all of this without sounding too terribly graphic, because it is a hardcore scene. Essentially she is humping the bottle. This goes on for a little bit, which is quite humorous. Then, we hear the sound. We hear that loud pop. You know, the kind of pop that is heard when you UNCORK a bottle of champagne. Cut to a close up show of the bottle (you know where it is) and champagne begins leaking and dripping on the floor. Now I'm thinking "wow, isn't that a little dangerous?" But, the stripper doesn't seem to mind. It cuts to something else, then when we go back to the strip club, each are drinking glasses of champagne and shootin the breeze.
That is the peanut brittle and the linens that gave me a good night's sleep. I've never seen that in a movie before, not even in some of the weirdest, bottom of the barrel 70's porno flicks. Now, I know the actress didn't really do that, seeing how there were some cuts between her sitting on the bottle and the sound of it opening, then pouring, but I don't care. That's one of the most ingeniously exploitive things I've seen in a movie, let along a zombie film! Everything that I and my friends wanted to happen in that scene happened. It went all according as planned.
Now, can I recommend this film based on just that one very very funny scene? Well, lets face it...you've forgotten the rest of my paragraphs haven't you? You really want to see this movie now. I can tell. If I were reading this review, there would be no question about it, I would be ordering this film right about now. And I am definitely not going to stop you. You'll get some laughs. But, of course, there are a couple other aspects of the film that I previously hinted on that do make me smile as well. The Laura Gemser moments in the film are rather mysterious and very well handled, such as a scene where she claws off the skin on her arm, only to reveal blood that is thick and white. I've never really thought Gemser was that bad of an actress, and one of the things that I like about her is that she can be incredibly entertaining by simply being Laura Gemser. This movie is no exception to that. Her scenes work really well, even if she doesn't come into it till around the 40 minute mark.
Know what else I like? The opening sequence. There's a scene at the beginning of the film where a mentally challenged guy is jerking off while watching a crazed Eastman have sex with a woman at a mental institution. You don't actually see the jerker's penis, but the way this guy is moving his arm, the thing has gotta be two feet long, or he is just really really aggressive. Now that's an excellent way to start the film, especially since, until the last scene in the film, you spend most of the movie wondering what any of that had to do with anything else in the film. But who cares, right?
I also kinda dig the zombie sequence at the end. It's very reminiscent to the "rising from the grave" sequence in Fulci's "Zombie," but it really does work here too. It's not as creepy or as well done as Fulci's, but it works as some solid zombie entertainment. There's a scene where Eastman and Funari are running away from the hoards of zombies that are walking after them, then both of them trip and fall on the ground. Why wouldn't they? Eastman reaches over to pick up his rifle, when all of the sudden, another zombie slowly rises out of the sand that the rifle sits upon. I really really dug that shot. If D'Amato had just stricly made this an island terror zombie flick, he probably would have had something, instead of trying to combine it with porno that looks like unused footage from the vaults of Seymore Butts.
The DVD for this film has been released by Shriek Show, with a cover that hints on some zombie/zombie love action. You won't find that in this film, and really, there's nothing in this movie that will generally disgust you. There's some gore here and there, but it's nothing that hasn't been seen before. The extras on here are nearly non existent. There's a Laura Gemser still gallery, some alternate shots (which look the same as in the movie) and some trailers. Also, Shriek Show has released the softcore version to the movie as well, but just remember: the movie may be shorter, but it has a lack of champagne. Honestly, I don't know the point of releasing edited versions of hardcore films. Is there some die hard fan out there that is going to want both copies? I have a friend who has all 6 copies of "Reservoir Dogs," and I have multiple copies and versions of "Caligula," but "Erotic Nights of the Living Dead"? I don't see it happening.
I think I'm going to leave it up to all of you people out there whether or not you want to see this film. All of you who have read this review have either already seen it, or you have already made up your minds if you want to see it. I've laid out the bad, and I've laid out the incredibly nifty. Yes, the movie has given me some delicious peanut brittle and some fine linens, but lets not forget that ultimately the thing is still, and will always be, a mugger, no matter if you can forget that or not. I tell you what, I'll give the thing 3 stars out of 5, which basically indicates "yeah, see it, whatever, I don't care," and I'll click yes on the "recommended?" part, only because I had fun watching this thing with my friends. If I saw it alone, I don't know if I would be as generous, but then again, my friends and I did manage to fend off the vile tard that was "Porno Holocaust." If there comes a point in my life when I watch "Erotic Nights of the Living Dead" by myself, and it doesn't entertain me as much, then I'll definitely update this review.
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