Catwoman was a disappointment. I knew that I wouldn't like it all that much, but I rented it anyway. I at least wanted to see it and form my own opinion. With all these comic book movies coming out, you know that they all can't be as good as Batman or Superman. Movies as great as X-Men and Spiderman must be offset by movies as bad as The Punisher and Catwoman. It brings balance to The Force.
Halle Berry stars as Catwoman. Berry won an Oscar once, but she sure doesn't act like it. Get it? Act like it? Hahah. Anyway, she's doing better than a lot of other Oscar winning actresses, but that's not saying much. Benjamin Bratt stars as a cop and romantic interest for Berry, and he's there strictly for eye candy. With his dark features and chiseled looks, he has that cross-racial sex appeal that makes all the ladies want to get bratty with Benjamin. Rounding out the cast is Sharon Stone. Anyone remember her? In this movie, she sports the most awful hairdo since Yahoo Serious in Young Einstein.
Catwoman is not anywhere near as bad as The Punisher, but that is like saying that going to the dentist to get a filling is not as bad a having a root canal. This movie suffers from the same problems as the television show Dark Angel, which I previously reviewed. Catwoman is just too…hip hop. Does that make sense? The soundtrack consists of a bunch of hip hop power ballads and there is even a basketball scene! This movie tried too hard to be all 'grrrl power!' and only delivered a weak punch in the arm. I am a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and love seeing female action stars, but this kind of stuff won't cut it.
Another big problem with this movie was the story. There are no twists or turns and no surprises. From the beginning you know who is bad and can figure out the whole plot. Like for example Sharon Stone's character acts like she wants to side with Catwoman, but you already know that Stone had ordered her killed earlier. The plot moves from beginning to end without any major detours and is like watching a drag race, and I can't stand motorsports.
The main plot in Catwoman is heavily lifted from Tim Burton's first Batman movie. A cosmetic developer has created a highly addictive and toxic new wonder drug that will make skin perpetually youthful. It also makes the user very sick and will eventually harden the skin like marble. Yeah, I know that is pretty ridiculous. Even more ridiculous is watching Sharon Stone take a beating from Catwoman while talking about her marble skin and how she can't be hurt.
Halle Berry's character is a graphic artist for the cosmetic company, and she accidentally discovers the dirty business going on there one night while working late. She is killed off by some of the company goons, but brought back to life by an Egyptian cat. Berry follows the cat home one day and finds a weird lady (Six Feet Under's Frances Conroy) who seems to know what is going on and explains the powers of the cat. Berry undergoes some changes as she sort of becomes schizophrenic and switches between cat and human mode. While in normal human mode, she doesn't seem to remember a lot of what she did as Catwoman, but then it slowly starts to blend together. As for the whole leather outfit thing, it was actually a gift given to Berry's character by her perpetually horny co-worker. When she gets ready to go hit the streets as Catwoman, she needs a disguise and that was her only option.
Catwoman suffers from too many hindrances to be a good movie. The editing is choppy like a bad music video. The story is lame and unoriginal. The dialogue is cheesy. Some of the action scenes are actually kind of neat but very unrealistic, like in one scene where she surfs a guy across a floor. Unless you are madly in love with Berry and want to see more of that leather outfit, don't bother with this one.
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