Nick Hornby has the sort of success the likes of which most people can only dream. A wildly successful writer, with three of his works converted to movies -- one of them twice. And he isn't yet 50.
His writing, at least his books, share a common thread of being gentle explorations of a normal male character, without sacrificing either authenticity, masculinity, or humor (in other words, his characters aren’t fake wish-lists constructed by the Oprah set, nor the sort of unbelievable ubermensch found in the typical Hollywood hack’s repertoire). They are normal guys: always sloppy, often clumsy, usually quite clueless, and hopelessly enamored with the accumulated useless trivia of music, sports, and fringe television shows.
One of his better (in my view, best) books is Fever Pitch – the story of a single secondary school teacher who tries to balance the irritations of life (read job, girl, and everything else) with his devotion to the Arsenal Gunners. The book had the sort of insight into what makes guys like sports that makes it required reading for every woman. The British film version of FP deviated very little from the book, but as tends to be the case with these transformations, much of the soul and subtle subtext was lost. Hell, it’s the nature of the beast. Nonetheless, the core of the book, the dichotomy of this slob’s intense attachment to both a girl and a team, came through.
Well, in what is becoming more common, Hollywood, apparently devoid of any ideas for anything beyond another explosion filled steroid fest, has decided to re-do a British creation, and make it more palatable to Americans (cough, The Office, cough). Thus, the single-minded devotion to soccer which formed the central core of both the book and the Brit movie is changed into an obsession with baseball. Fair enough. Baseball fans can be pretty damned intense when they need to be. Otherwise, the loose elements of the girl-meets-obsessed-sports-fan hurdles are all there, and is certainly familiar territory for just about any heterosexual couple. I suppose if the Canadians remade it, the guy would be a Leafs fan.
But I digress.
What I am getting at is the actual sport doesn’t matter (although, my affinity for jogo bonito makes me prefer the soccer slant). Besides, although it is the axle about which the tale rotates, the sport-philia isn’t what the story is about – at least not in Hornby’s original book, nor in his screenplay for the BritFlick. The story is about the guy coming to learn how to compartmentalize his devotion to both girl and team, and how the girl has to accept that, well, guys liking sports isn’t a major personality flaw. This element is what Hornby is adept at exploring and explaining, and this is where the US version of Fever Pitch is as woefully deficient as Bush is at telling the truth.
The new FP is nothing more than a series of ham-handed jokes about guys and their sports obsession that seem as if they were Home Improvement rejects. Oh look, the poor sports fan has to cover his ears in a restaurant to prevent him from hearing the final score of the game he taped for later viewing. Hahahaha. Throw in the requisite reality check of the importance of interpersonal relationship compared to sports, the odd bodily function joke, and the fireworks-inspiring happy ending, and you’ve essentially got the movie. Not that it is bad, mind you (and I, for one, absolutely love fart jokes and seeing guys get popped in the balls), but it just doesn’t ever go beyond openly pointing out these foibles. It left me standing there wanting to ask, "So f*cking what?" I mean, how is it worth making a movie over the fact that this guy is a total sports junkie, and his girl doesn't understand him? The answer is, well, it isn't. The part of both the book and the first movie that gave the story it's tangibility is gone, leaving a rather lame, superficial, slightly amusing, string of gags allowing us to chuckle at ourselves.
Big deal.
I want to offer my most sincere and heartfelt apologies to everyone for daring to post something as devoid of humor, innuendo, subversion, and creativity as this. Yes, I am very embarrassed, so please don't email me. I am truly sorry.
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