Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie's plot.

Dead Meat (2004) Written and Directed by Conor McMahon

"That was definitely a cow." Desmond.

This is a movie of firsts.  It is the director's first film.  It is the first Irish Zombie movie.  And it is the first movie with Zombie Cows.

Helena and Martin (Marian Araujo and David Ryan) are lost in the Irish countryside, when an innocent kiss leads to vehicular homicide, which leads to Martin being bitten.  Helena is sent for help, and discovers how very alone they are.  And when Martin comes after her, strangely aggressive, Helena runs through a check list of women's self defense maneuvers;  Ladies, the nail file works on non zombies; for the walking dead, you need to step it up to a Hoover.

Helena hooks up with Desmond (David Muyllaert) a living local who works as a grave digger.  Welcome to unemployment, Des.  Together, they try to reach a safe place.  There seem to be darn few to be found.  What they do find are a few other survivors, Lisa, (Kathryn Toolan, a lovely actress, if unlovely girl) Coach Cathal Cheunt (Eoin Whelan) and his well suited bride, Francie (Amy Redmond).  Please remember, come the Zombie Apocalypse, it is polite to ask to see someone's bum, but only if you are looking for teeth marks.  The story unfolds; it seems some blighter fed his cattle dead animal carcasses, and introduced a variation on mad cow disease.  All the cows were killed, but not before the virus (prion?) entered the human population.  And, it would seem, not all the cows.  Yes, people, we have zombie cows.  Lord love the Irish!

This movie is obviously a first effort, and it shows an unevenness; it is a series of vignettes strung together.  There is some effort at humor, but the main characters are not particularly loveable; most particularly Coach Cathal (give an Irish man a stick, and license to use it....he is a hurly coach, after all.)  Still, you manage to get involved with them, but the whole piece could have used more character development.

These things will come with time.  I was still impressed with the amount of high quality decapitations they were able to manage with their budget.  This is definitely a low budget indie film, but one with a lot of heart...and other organ meats.   I particularly was taken with our heroine, Helena.  From the start of the movie, few women have reminded me more of Barbara from the seminal Night of the Living Dead, but she rather quickly got over that, and moved closer to Alice from the Resident Evil movies.  The only complaint I have about her is her inability to keep a weapon.  She is great at improv, but honestly, I would not have left that pick behind for love nor money.  Still, though she is not beautiful, or glamorous, nor super powered like Milla Jovovich she does manage to develop a feeling of empathy with the audience.

And, like I said, the film has Zombie cows.

This is entered into Captain D's Good Movie Write Off, and is like the Gaelic ghouls, certified Lean-N-Mean at 500 words.

The Dead Shall Walk the Earth!

Romero: Father of Zombies.
Night of the Living Dead
Diary of the Dead
Land of the Dead

Another kind of "Zombie" Movie:
28 Days Later
28 Weeks Later

England's first true Zombie Movie:
Shaun of the Dead

Resident Evil:
Resident Evil
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Resident Evil: Extinction
Resident Evil: Afterlife


Resident Evil: Degeneration



Assorted Flavors of Shamblers:

[REC]
The Zombie Diaries
Boy Eats Girl
Dead Meat
Day of the Dead-The Need to Feed.
Flight of the Living Dead
Dead Snow
The Crazies
Return of the Living Dead
Edges of Darkness
Zombieland
Tokyo Zombie
Dead Space: Downfall

Recommended: Yes

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: Fit for Friday Evening
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age