Plot Details: This opinion reveals major details about the movie's plot.

Are you a worrier? I know I do my share. If it’s not the price of gasoline, there’s always crime, the economy and Paris Hilton’s current behind-bars fate to keep me awake ‘til all hours. I worry about writer’s block (not), and the possibility of my movie hat blowing away with all the wacky Write-Off-related book reviews I’ve written lately. Most of all, I worry about how the Message Boards here at Epinions will get along without me.

Alas - when the weight of the world comes crashing down upon me, I unlock my secret stash of Racket Squad DVDs, and all soon becomes right again. When that shiny-new turnip truck speeds-by chock-full of freshly-scrubbed innocents for Captain Braddock to protect, I sense the vibration from Shakespeare’s underground horizontal triple toe-loop, and off to the world of unintentional comedy I go.

♫ Smoke Gets In Your Eyes . . . ♫

For those unfamiliar, Racket Squad was the CBS ultra-low-budget precursor to Jack Webb’s NBC Dragnet series; both of which premiered in 1951. While the latter had Webb, a budget and a purpose, the former had none of the above; save for Reed Hadley as the lead, and what appears to have been a hundred-dollar weekly budget allowance.

The show’s featured sponsor and provider of said seed money was Phillip Morris; producer of several brands of cigarettes popular in the 1950s. This tie-in must have come with the condition that everyone on-camera be smoking at all times. Reed Hadley’s chain-smoking-induced baritone crime-fighter Captain Braddock is often barely visible through the copious clouds of cigarette smoke that have turned all the sets at the Hal Roach Studios a lighter shade of gray, as a result. Bunko is Braddock's beat, and each episode presents the best of this bumbling bunch for our serio-comic approval.

Just for the record, there are no spoilers possible in any description of Racket Squad. This is dawn-of-television crime drama by-the-numbers. Test patterns on opposing stations may have gotten higher ratings. Adopting the appropriate parlance of the day, this show is like a stroll to the corner store for a carton of smokes. The walk is healthy and the people you meet on the journey are fun, but the unfiltered butts, like the show itself, will result in a bad ending for nearly all concerned.

Episode One

The Case of the Dancing Lady (Original air date: February 26, 1953)

Of the four episodes included, this one offers the greatest potential for unintentional comedy and sheer star power. Hugh Beaumont, whose legacy will forever live on as the Beaver’s dad Ward Cleaver in “Leave It To Beaver” summons all his acting skills to play Timothy Morgan, prospective newlywed. His fiancee Mary (Jan Clayton) has red-flag issues with her maybe mom-in-law, who keeps Timmy on a very short leash. Frustrated at the thought of living with hubby and mummy, Mary takes a breather for some dancing instruction when a coupon for free lessons arrives in the mail.

Her unctuous, ascot-wearing instructor Antoine (Anthony Caruso) seems to run a reputable business, but in reality has a sweet little racket that involves cameras, compromising positions, and blackmail. The acting ranges from bad to awful; wherein lies the comedy. The Best of the Bad award goes to Tim’s mom (Edith Elliot) who alternates between indifference and withering disappointment with all the subtlety of a lighthouse on a clear night. Captain Braddock’s reverberated other-worldly narration and bum-a-smoke sensibilities add to the hilarity.

(Scale: 1-5)
Overall Rating: 3
Fun Factor: 4.5

Episode Two

Kite High (Original air date: September 6, 1951)

Tom Underwood owns a funeral home and travels frequently on business; to the concern of his beautiful wife and suspicion of his obnoxious mother-in-law. Since suspicion trumps concern, the three have a spirited show-down; with the battle-axe emerging as the victor on both volume and points:

Tom: “Either she goes, or I go!”

Wife: “But Tom... you know mother can’t leave - her sacroiliac’s twisted!"

Tom: "Too bad it isn’t her neck!"

So Tom flees to the bright lights of Las Vegas to think. And drink. And gamble. As is the case with all episodes of Racket Squad, the interiors - even the bar and casino - use the same standard living room set. Also prevalent are the bouts of unlikely coincidence that serve as soft, comfy pillows for the lazy writers - Tom just happens to let it slip to the casino’s cashier that his checking account balance is upward of fifty-grand. Eavesdropper’s invitations to exclusive private games whose check-kiting schemes make Tom an angry boy offer just some of the comedy highlights in store.

Ultimately, the funniest part of “Kite High” is the actress who plays the mother-in-law with the skill of a tree falling in the forest. She’s a hoot - and the cause of all Tom’s problems - but my biggest issue concerns the illogic of the premise. If this guy is in Vegas in 1951 with fifty-grand in the bank, why not take out a contract on the old biddy? Either that or get her an apartment of her own.

Overall Rating: 3.5
Fun Factor: 4

Episode Three

The Case of the Miracle Mud (Original air date: September 20, 1951)

When Jim Edwards comes to Fairview looking to settle down, he enlists the services of Realtor Mary Higgins to help him find the perfect house. After turning down all prospective properties, he shells-out seventeen-hundred dollars for a swampy lot with a run-down house included. As he tromps around in his newly-purchased muck, his bum leg miraculously heals. Word spreads, which starts a bidding war for his property between greedy townsfolk and scamming health-spa speculators.

Unlike the other episodes featured, this story survives dramatically intact. Jess Barker - real-life husband to actress Susan Hayward at the time - is handsome and convincing as the mystery man; though the usual small-budget issues (those dreary sets) haunt the production.

Overall Rating: 3.5
Fun Factor: 3

Episode Four

One More Dream (Original air date: August 28, 1952)

Told in the flashback format, this is the story of an eccentric millionaire (is there any other kind?) who masquerades as a poor man, since his only interest in life is toward that which pertains to all things clairvoyant. His obsession makes him ripe for the picking by greedy opportunists who set up a sting that involves a truckload of science fiction hokum. Dynamic Thought Projection is the goal - Clairvoyant Insomnia is the obstacle. Laugh-out-loud comedy is the result. According to the Phillip Morris rules of engagement everyone smokes - including diners at the local eatery - while they’re eating!

Overall Rating: 3
Fun Factor: 4.5

Yes, my friends - when that Soviet gulag-style march-theme signals the end of yet another thrilling episode of Racket Squad, sleep soundly knowing you are safe and snug in your beds; thanks to the crime-fighting efforts of Braddock and crew. Of equal importance, let’s hope your sleepy neighbors in the smoking-optional apartment below are familiar with those new Phillip Morris self-extinguishing cigarettes.

Racket Squad - Volume 3 (1951-53)
Hal Roach Studios
DVD: Alpha Video (2005)

Racket Squad - Volume 1
Racket Squad - Volume 2

Recommended: Yes

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: Good for Groups
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older