qbprogger's Full Review: ATI RADEON® 9800 Pro, (128 MB) AGP Video Card
Due to my status as a complete ATI fanatic, I must not write this review in a serious manner. I apologize in advance if I have offended anyone, but I insist on expressing my true feelings in this completely honest, heart-felt review.
READER DISCRETION ADVISED!
I WENT TO THE BEST BUY STORE THE OTHER DAY AND PICKED UP AN ATI RADEON AND I WAS LIKE "OMG OMG OMG RED!" AND I PURCHASED THE ITEM AND BROUGHT IT HOME AND TORE THE BOX OFF. WHEN I REMOVED THE TORN PACKAGING MATERIAL I NOTICED A HUGE BIG WARNING AND I WAS LIKE "OH NO OH NO IS THIS CARD GOING TO WORK IN MY SYSTEM?" AND THEN I FINALLY READ THE NOTICE AND IT SAID PLEASE HOOK UP A POWER CORD TO THIS CARD SO I SAID "OH GOOD KIND SIR ATI CARD, THANK GOODNESS FOR YOUR WARNING!"
THIS BRINGS ME TO POINT #1!
1) PLEASE HOOK UP YOUR ATI CARD TO AN EMPTY POWER CABLE IN YOUR COMPUTER MACHINE. THIS EMPTY POWER CABLE WILL HAVE A WHITE CAP WITH 4 LITTLE PRONGS IN IT. YOUR CARD NEEDS POWER BECAUSE IT IS JUST THAT COOL.
AND NOW I TORE THE COVER FROM MY COMPUTER IN A FIT OF JOY AND INSTALLED THE CARD TAKING CARE TO REMEMBER THE WARNING THE GOOD FOLKS AT ATI GAVE ME ABOUT CONNECTING THE POWER CORDS UP.
AS SOON AS I INSTALLED MY CARD I WAS INSTANTLY TURNED INTO A STUD. MY MILK TASTED BETTER, MY DOUBLE BACON CHEESEBURGERS INSTANTLY BECAME NUMMIER, AND LIFE AS A WHOLE WAS COMPLETELY CHANGED FOR ME. THEN I REALIZED I HAD TO INSTALL THE DRIVERS BEFORE THE CARD OPERATED. THIS BRINGS ME TO POINT #2!!!!!
2) AFTER COMPLETELY INSTALLING THE CARD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE INSTALL THE DRIVERS FIRST. THE DRIVERS COME IN A CD MARKED CATALYST. INSTALL THOSE AND YOUR CARD WILL TAKE OFF LIKE A MAD FAST RABBIT.
WHEN I REBOOTED MY MACHINE AFTER SUCCESSFULLY INSTALLING THE CARD IT WAS LIKE "WHOA DUDE. MY COMPRUDAR WAS NEVER THIS FAST BEFORE!!!" AND THEN A KIND FISH WITH A TOP HAT TOLD ME "OF COURSE YOU HAEVN'T THIS IS THE RADEON 9800 PRO!" THAT CRAZY FISH NEVER SHOWED AGAIN UP BUT HE SURE SPEAKS THE TRUTH. WHEN THE SYSTEM FINISHED ITS BOOTUP I NOTICED THAT I HAD SOME NEW PANELS IN MY ATI CONTROL PANEL AND A NEW THING THAT COVERED MY DESKTOP WITH HELPFUL APPLICATIONS. A VIDEO CARD IS COOL BUT THIS COMES WITH A DVD PLAYER, A CD PLAYER, A VCD PLAYER, A FILE PLAYER, AND YOU GET A MEDIA LIBRARY ADDITION ABSOLUTELY FREE%#!%#! AS IF IT COULDN'T GET ANY BETTER, I STARTED TO DO SOME BENCHMARKS! THIS BRINGS ME TO POINT 3!
3) RUN EVERY 3D GAME YOU HAVE BECAUSE IT IS GOING TO INSTANTLY TURN YOUR GAMES FROM YAWN TO OMG I CAN'T SEE IT'S GOING SOO FAST AND SMOOTH I AM NOT USED TO THIS AND OMG I AM DYING IN COUNTERSTRIKE OH NOS. BUT DON'T WORRY YOU WILL ADJUST TO THE SMOOTHNESS OVER TIME. IT IS SOMETHING ALL OF US GO THROUGH.
AFTER INSTALLATION I NOTICED SOMETHING. I WAS A COMPLETELY SATISFIED CUSTOMER. MY BRAND NEW RADEON WAS THE CREAM OF THE CROP AND THE CROP WAS PRETTY AWESOME ITSELF YOU KNOW. IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE ME HEAD OVER TO TOMSHARDWARE.COM OR ANANDTECH.COM BECAUSE MAN. MAN OH MAN. THIS CARD CHANGED MY LIFE.
AFTER MY COMPLETELY SATISFIED EXPERIENCE I WAS THINKING. MAN I SHOULD WRITE A LETTER TO THE CORPORATE OFFICE AND IT WOULD GO A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS:
"DEAR GOOD ATI SIRS"
"THANKS FOR ALL THE HARD WORK AND ALL THE AWESOME PRODUCTS. DUDES CAN YOU PLEASE LET ME 'BETA TEST' ALL THE NEW CARDS PLEASE PLEASE I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER"
"-SINCERELY MR SATISFIED CUSTOMER"
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