J.J.Samen's Full Review: Absolut Vodka Citron - 1 liter
All right, I'm not going to say "it was better than sex" or anything like that. But this particular variety has convinced me -- after more than ten years of refusing to drink anything with vodka since, it seemed, even a drop or two in a tall glass made the whole concoction reek like isopropyl (rubbing) alcohol -- that vodka is good.
Or, at least, that Absolut Citron is good. Better than good, wonderful, but I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm afraid you won't find any comparisons to other vodkas, except for my general impression that they are all undrinkable. Nor will you find in-depth details of the bouquet and complex flavours of a straight shot, since I only had it in a mixed drink. This is the story of a die-hard vodka-hater, and my conversion.
The story begins with my stepsister's wedding early last month. As those of you who know me know, I have fibromyalgia, and normally take medications that aren't to be combined with alcohol. This particular week, though, my doctor & I were still working out exactly which drug combination would be best for me, so all I was taking was a prescription pain medicine. Unfortunately, in the rush to get to the wedding, I left my pills behind. So by the time dinner was served at the reception, it was time for my next dose and the previous one was faded from my bloodstream. It was the perfect excuse to drink, which I hadn't done in months.
I didn't start with the Citron; the thought never crossed my mind. The bar had an acceptable single-malt scotch (I only drink scotches from Scotland, and whiskeys from Ireland), so that's what I ordered. Asking for it "neat" got me more than a shot but less than a double, and with no water or ice to dilute it. The scotch was pleasant and had a nice kick (perhaps I'll review it later) and it took me my entire meal to work my way to the bottom of the glass.
Dessert was next, and with it came coffee; I took my half-cup of decaf (caffeine does terrible things to me) to the bar and had the bartender give me a dash of creme de cacao and of Bailey's Irish Cream. The combination made a perfect cup of coffee, needing no further sweetening or cream, while staying light on the alcohol. Not being a big drinker, I have a pretty low tolerance.
By the time I'd finished both my piece of wedding cake and my coffee, the dance floor was in full swing and for the first time in months, I felt no pain in my arms or legs. Tentatively at first, I goaded friends or family onto the dance floor with me, for one song, then two, before taking a break -- I was still tiring easily. I was swigging from the continually-refilled water glass at my table, but after awhile I began contemplating a third drink. At my last visit to the bar, I'd noticed a frosted glass bottle of Absolut Citron displayed prominently among the various liquors.
It helps to understand this part of the story if I tell you that a friend of mine likes this stuff so much that her online handle is Citron (or sometimes Absolut Citron). Her proud praises of it and amusing antics after drinking it apparently had had an influence on me. When I approached the bar that final time, I explained to the bartender that I was not a vodka drinker, but that I wanted him to make me something with the Citron.
This fellow was a good sport and a good bartender. After thinking a moment, he filled a glass with crushed ice, added one part orange juice, two parts Grand Marnier and one part each cranberry juice and Chambord liqueur, then filled the still half-empty glass with Citron vodka. It was with some trepidation that I took this high-octane cocktail back to my table; the mixed drinks I was familiar with tended to feature a much higher non-alcoholic content (juice, cream, soda, seltzer, etc.), and I was more worried than ever about the noxious fumes and flavour I still half-expected.
What a surprise when I got back to my table and took that first sip! The drink, incidentally, is called a Citron Hollywood and is as pretty to look at as it is tasty, with its various layers of amber, ruby and gold. The taste of alcohol was just barely perceptible; what I experienced was a mixture of subtly combining citrus flavours, accented by the berry bite of the Chambord and cranberry juice. It was one of the most drinkable beverages I've ever had, and I had to pace myself so as not to drain the glass as if it was fruit punch (which it did not taste like).
Next time it's possible for me to drink alcohol, a Citron Hollywood will probably be my first choice... maybe someday I'll even try it straight or in one of the more pucker-inducing mixes (like a Lemon Drop). But for now, I can say that if you've never liked vodka, Absolut Citron is worth a try.
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