Jagermeister

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The Little Death

Apr 26, 2000
Review by  
Rated a Very Helpful Review

Pros:Makes people you don't like throw up

Cons:Makes you throw up

Most of you reading this will already know some of the mythology surrounding this fabled liquor. The LA Weekly ran a cover story on this "beverage" in the past year, so you might be able to find it in their online archives. In my three years at the University of Southern California, here's what I uncovered:
Jagermeister DOES contain opiates. Even though it is only 70 proof, you will become sedated, much like codine for all you NyQuil swillers out there.
Jagermeister will make you sick. Much like the mystical Absinthe, Jagermeister contains herbs much like Wormwood, a natural poison. Quite often, your body will respond to this by trying to get it out of you ASAP.
Jagermeister makes the toughest drinks on the block.

So for all of you people out there that need to prove how tough you are by drinking, here's the challenge:
A whiskey tumbler (4-5 oz) filled about 2/3 full of chilled Jag, then topped off with 1 part 91/2 oz) of 151 rum. Drink. I couldn't see more than 30 degrees in front of me or past 15 feet for about 4 hours. This is the Zombie Maker. All of those shots can just step off. Four Horsemen: get a room, funboys. I can drink the liquid at the bottom of my garbage can and get the same gag reflex.

For those of you with some sense in your head, avoid Jagermeister at all costs. I've seen it coming out either end of the unfortunate (one time out of both at once), and it ain't pretty. After you walk away from this madness, you can never go back. Trust me, this is for the best.


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