Ah yes, I remember 1989 very well. I was in Junior High and decked out in spandex Jordache jeans (they really were cool) and various layers of neon, spandex, and cotton. I cherished those Friday dances held at lunch hour and at night. And dude, the songs were totally awesome.
Okay. Not really.
A few years ago, I stumbled upon a few special market (aka dirt cheap) discs entitled Rock On. I purchased both the 1989 and 1990 compilations while later I picked up a few others. Neither contains what I would ever in a million years call high quality music. They call it rock. I call it pop. And at times I would even call it junk. Yes, you heard me. J-U-N-K.
With twelve songs, all of which I remember at least vaguely from years ago, the album is bound to have some clunkers. There are also some decent and misplaced tracks added for good measure. To this day I have a soft spot for What I Am from Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians, Once Bitten Twice Shy from Great White and even a naughty thought or two about Pump Up The Jam from Technotronic. Back in “the day” I also liked songs I Wanna Have Some Fun by Samantha Fox, Real Love from Jody Watley and even the ridiculous Walk The Dinosaur from Was (Not Was). The rest of the songs on this disc leave me wondering…what the hell were they thinking?
But for a good laugh and no more than about $7 this disc can be yours to cherish, covet, and relish. Or maybe not…
1. The Lover In Me – Sheena Easton
Scottish pop-schlock princess Sheena Easton hit paydirt toward the end of the 1980’s. Among the grating singles that landed her on the top of the charts was this one…The Lover In Me culled from her album of the same name. Her voice is a bit high pitched for my liking in addition to the fact that the entire song seems to be manufactured. I’m sure that there was at a time some audience for this crap, but today it just sounds dated and unimportant. Gack.
2. Everlasting Love – Howard Jones
New wave male vocalist Howard Jones had a moderate hit with Everlasting Love. The song sounded five years old in 1989 on his album Cross That Line. Today, it relates more to the early and mid 1980’s synthesizer-laden movement. There’s nothing particularly troublesome about the song except for the fact that it seems a bit watered down. At least the guy has a decent voice.
3. I Wanna Have Some Fun – Samantha Fox
Before making it “big” in the 1980’s a teenage Fox was actually a model. Then she was a model with a record contract. What more could an attractive young girl want? Well, a hit single of course! Her dream in part came true with the hit I Wanna Have Some Fun. The dance pop equation wasn’t particularly innovative. It in fact sounds like some bastard spawn of Gloria Estefan and Paula Abdul. It was definitely a decent track thirteen years ago. Today, it’s little more than a forgettable sex song.
4. Sacred Emotion – Donny Osmond
Dear god. Say it’s not so. Good boy Donny Osmond makes an appearance on this collection with his undercover comeback hit single Sacred Emotion. His album and single hit at a time when his career had all but dried up and he was the butt of jokes. I suppose the track could have been worse, but with a saxophone and a seemingly George Michael soul attitude the track hasn’t aged well. At all.
5. Real Love – Jody Watley
Former Soul Train dancer Jody Watley was a pop princess in the late 1980’s before her career abruptly dried up. It seems that talent is a prerequisite for more than a few hit albums/singles. Her Real Love formula was similar to that employed by Fox. Dance pop really did get old after scads of similar artists (Paula Abdul, Taylor Dane, etc…) exploited it with more finesse. Anyway, the song is decent just not memorable. It does at least bring back some good early teenage memories.
6. We Can’t Go Wrong – The Cover Girls
This is crap. Utter, unadulterated crapola. A girl group based more around looks than talent, the single We Can’t Go Wrong was by no means their most popular. It’s painful to listen to this obviously manufactured group (note: NOT BAND). It’s just too sticky sweet for my liking. And the fact that electric guitars were used interchangeably with synthesizers and various other paint by numbers elements. They were jokes even back in their day. This song is certainly nothing more than filler.
7. Pump Up The Jam – Technotronic
One of the few songs still recognizable today, Pump Up The Jam was purely dance music. Female model/singer Ya Kid K (you didn’t know she was a she, did you?) provides the vocals for the memorable club favorite. The repetitive electronic elements were successful probably because the group’s intent was to be fun. Not innovative by any means. Decent song, even in today’s market.
8. What I Am – Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians
As one of the more alternative selections on this collection full of almost totally mainstream selections, What I Am is a great track. One that is still aurally pleasurable today. Understated, unique and lovely Brickell’s songwriting and singing prowess are all evident on this track and on the Shooting Rubberbands at the Stars as a whole. This song is in the minority on Rock On it is actually of a very high quality.
9. The Doctor – The Doobie Brothers
I’ll never understand what the hell the Doobie Brothers is doing on this album. The boogie rock of The Doctor is definitely out of place. It wasn’t even particularly popular in 1989 much less today. The song is decent, not great, but interesting enough. It’s just difficult to stomach (regardless of quality) among this sea of crap-pop. And the fact remains that Cycle (the album from which this song was birthed) was bad. REALLY bad. Like the Doobie Brothers. For god’s sake look to their earlier releases.
10. Once Bitten Twice Shy – Great White
This is a guilty pleasure for me. I do like Great White regardless of the fact that they were really easily interchangeable with the other hair metal of the late 1980’s. I enjoy the band’s gratuitous use of bluesy guitars and the energetic feel of songs like Once Bitten Twice Shy. And with a tendency toward lyrics that speak directly about sex, drugs, and rock and roll it’s difficult to go wrong. And considering that this is one of the few even decent tracks on this compilation, it shines above and beyond the crap girl groups and pop princesses.
11. When I Looked At Him – Expose
Honestly, these three had at least a bit of talent. Something that can’t and shouldn’t be said about most of the other creatures on this disc. This Muzak is by no means my style, but the three female leads do have lovely vocals. It’s just a bit too, ahem, dentist office for me. The saxophones mixed with guitars, etc…do manage to shine more brightly on other Expose songs. I have no clue why this song was chosen over others that were more popular at the time…
12. Walk The Dinosaur – Was (Not Was)
Wow. This was a strange bird even in 1989. I remember dancing (yes, I used to dance) to this crazy little ditty. Was (Not Was) never made particularly mainstream music and tended toward the strange, satiric, and off the wall. Walk The Dinosaur was no exception to the rule though Junior High Schools everywhere (like my own) loved the track. It managed to go all the way to number seven despite having very little substance. I attribute this success to the boom-boom-aka-laka-laka-booms.
So if you were a fan of girl groups in 1989 this album may be for you. If you tended more toward rock music you’re be very disappointed. I enjoy the memories that this album brings back. I don’t enjoy Sheena Easton, et al in the least. But where else am I going to get to hear songs from old favorites like Was (Not Was)?
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