It’s a bit embarrassing to admit that I own this album. Seriously. Why is it that Schubert Dip occupies a spot in my collection? Not because it’s a high quality album. Oh no. I trace it all back to the fact that it was free…no way in hell would I ever in a million years purchase this piece of crap.
EMF formed in 1989 in England as some new alternative dance rock combo. The quintet soon found themselves playing club gigs. As quick as they were formed, they were all over top 40 dance radio with Unbelievable. Led by vocalist James Atkin and populated by Ian Dench (guitar), Derry Brownson (keyboard), Zachary Foley (bass) and Mark Decloedt (drums) the band quickly churned out their debut album.
1991’s Schubert Dip is most notable for that one aforementioned hit…Unbelievable. The fact is that today few people will recall the band, but most know the song. Heck, it’s still on every dance compilation highlighting the 1990’s and played at many a sporting event. Schubert Dip was unfortunately a major disappointment. None of the songs come close to equaling the infectious groove of the distinctive hit.
The EMI release sold well based on the one track and a million gullible buyers. Unbelievable wasn’t a reflection of the album on the whole in any way. Sure, the other nine tracks all revolve around attempted catchy, dizzying, and fun alternative dance pop/rock. But, that equation only worked for EMF on one occasion. They are the epitome of a one-hit-wonder.
It’s my supposition that the problem with EMF lies in the fact that they sound like the 1991 version of an old, washed up new wave band. Their synthesizer sounds and mixes didn’t impress me a decade ago. They certainly don’t make an impression today. As much as I hate Schubert Dip, there are worse albums in my collection (you can find them under the 1-star listing). EMF’s attempt at a debut is just astonishingly weak and not in the least bit worthy of purchase. If you want Unbelievable, be advised to pick up a 1990’s mix disc of some kind instead of being suckered into this mislead purchase.
Schubert Dip is thankfully only ten songs long. Aside from Unbelievable, there are but a few tracks that are even nearing an okay level. Long Summer Days has it’s own insistent groove. Distinctively British (and not quite as good as contemporaries Jesus Jones), the song lacks direction and in the end sounds old and repetitive. But, then again it’s not repulsive. Girl of an Age is also moderately entertaining, though the keyboards and synths haven’t aged well in the past decade.
The followup single to Unbelievable was Lies. Lies was an unfortunate choice. Again, the beats are too repetitive and the keyboards and synthesizers are boring. Atkin’s breathy vocals aren’t innovative nor do they highlight any amount of talent. Not a horrible track, just not particularly interesting.
Schubert Dip could have been completely ghastly. The songs could have been painful on my ears and not in the least bit redeeming. The fact is that I get joy out of Unbelievable and a few other songs here and there. None is great by a long shot, but then again EMF couldn’t have possibly believed that they would be famous music innovators. Come on…their kind of music was better in the 1980’s when performed by Duran Duran among others.
I can’t recommend Schubert Dip to anybody. It’s not even worth $1. My motto is that if you’re offered music for free, take it. You might just discover something new to enjoy. As a result of the very few bright spots, this EMF debut gets 2/5 stars. I’m not sure that it’s that good of an album, but there are worse things in this world.
Rating: 2/5 stars
Track Listing:
1. Children
2. Long Summer Days
3. When You’re Mine
4. Travelling Not Running
5. I Believe
6. Unbelievable
7. Girl of an Age
8. Admit It
9. Lies
10. Longtime
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Surprisingly enough, EMF returned in 1992 with the completely ignored Stigma. Three years later they resurfaced with their worst album to date Cha Cha Cha.
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