Before I get started, let me tell you that I am a HUGE Phil Collins fan. I have every one of his solo albums, every Genesis album, every Genesis-related album, and a bunch of bootlegs. I've been to numerous shows of his and even learned to play piano by figuring out the sheet music of his first three albums note by note.
So, what do I think of Testify? Simply put, this is the worst piece of plastic I've ever brought into the sanctity of my home. Okay, it's not that bad, but it's still pretty bad. Phil's previous album, Dance Into The Light, had its ups and downs. Most of the songs featured a real band, with several musicians. Even the handful of tracks from the Tarzan soundtrack were great Collins pieces (which are what I was hoping this album would sound like). Testify, however, is another one (like Both Sides) that sounds as if he threw it together in his basement and got some help from a few musician friends to fill out the credits. Most of the songs here are forgettable, leaving you with no satisfaction after being dragged along on a sappy journey of cliched lyrics.
Obviously, the reason for his inability to make classic tunes these days is his personal life. It's way too happy for him; he's got nothing to be p!ssed off about. Face Value and Hello, I Must Be Going were written at the end of a messy divorce. He had something to get off his chest back then. What do we have now? Lullabies and love letters. No anger, no energy, no desperation. Phil's music succeeds only when his life is in shambles. After listening to this CD, his life must be soaring high...
Here's quick rundown, track by track...
Wake Up Call - An odd choice for the first track. It's upbeat, but not the energetic sound that usually begins a Collins album. Very percussive, though not heavy, and very catchy. Unfortunately, this is one of those tracks that feature Phil's badly performed synthesizer solos. It's a nice song.
Come With Me - Almost unlistenable. The repeated melody of this song is the exact same as that of the classic "go to sleep..." lullaby. (Well, this song IS a lullaby.) You can't listen to this track and not be reminded of that song. I found it to be very distracting, even though there is a gentle track under there.... somewhere.
Testify - "...testify your love for me..." Come on, Phil! This song is a tired cliche on top of simplistic chords and synth drums, aided only by an occasional REAL drum fill and some 'black gospel' choir sounds. Already at track 3 and I'm not impressed.
Don't Get Me Started - This seems more like the album opener. Though it's not a powerhouse, its slow build up into real drumming and a solid chorus would've gotten me started in a better mood to listen to this CD. I like this song.
Swing Low - Getting a little more mellow on this track, though not like the sludge of "Testify." This is probably my favorite slow song on the album. It's catchy, and upbeat. Heck, this song even has the self-referencing line: "...like the man said he was right, 'bout something coming in the air tonight..."
It's Not Too Late - Starts out sounding like something we've never heard before from Phil, then quickly changes into something less groundbreaking. More synth drums, more forgettable lyrics, and a bridge that sounds like its going to break out of its shell but never does.
This Love This Heart - Is Phil deliberately trying to trick us with these intros? We think we're in for something cool, then slips back into mushy love songs. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for love songs on an album, but we need some variety. Again, fake drums augmented by a few real fills. He really likes key changes on this one.
Driving Me Crazy - Wow, this is Face Value's 'Droned' part 2!!! WRONG!!! Again, tricked by the intro. It's upbeat and fast, but with a chorus like "...'cos being without you is driving me crazy..." Pass the Pepto-Bismol, please.
The Least You Can Do - Uh, Phil, beginning the song with pipes is something Sting did many years ago -- it really doesn't belong on this song. Though I think I hear Phil playing real drums in there somewhere... wow! Still, this song is dripping with sappy "say you're sorry girl" lyrics that make me too embarrassed to finish the track.
Can't Stop Loving You - Hands down, the best song on the album. It has a real band feel to it, great lyrics and chorus, and definitely radio-friendly. I believe I've already heard this song used in a Toyota commercial. If you'd like, put this track on repeat and you'll enjoy the album a whole lot more. Too bad for Phil it's just a remake of the Leo Sayer song, but a very good remake!
Thru My Eyes - Finally, horns make an appearance, even if they do battle with an accordion in there. Catchy chorus, nice rhythm, but again, nothing that stands out.
You Touch My Heart - At first it sounds like 'Come With Me' part 2, but progresses into an even more disappointing love song. What a terrible way to end a lackluster CD. He could've resurrected this whole mess by including a fast, horn-laden track here (like 'Find A Way To My Heart'), but he didn't.
Well, that's it. If you sat through this whole track-by-track review, and you're still reading this, maybe you DO have the willpower to make it through the CD. And one final note: If you're thinking I wrote this review too hastily and that I didn't live with these songs long enough to give them a fair review, think again. I've had these songs in MP3 format since August. I bought the disc because, like I said, I'm a huge Collins fan. Let me change that: I'm a huge pre-Testify Collins fan.
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