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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Helpful (Reply to this comment)
by B_Campbell
That's a bit better. I appreciate that you took my comments constructively and while I still think this is a bit long and could use more editing, I think it's great that you took the effort to improve it.
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Oct 12 '05
12:13 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Helpful (Reply to this comment)
by michelle7898
I did not remove anything because I feel that others may want to know of "my" experience with the game and it's objects and such to get an idea of what their experience will be like. However, I did add quite a bit and will update some more later when I get home. If you have any specifics that you feel I have missed please let me know and I will add them in later on along with a better update. We may have a difference of opinions on a few things but that doesn't mean I disreguard your opinions. I appreciate them and am thankful for your comments. Thus far I have updated several sections if you would like to take a look.
-Michelle
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Oct 12 '05
11:12 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Helpful (Reply to this comment)
by B_Campbell
I do see what you're saying. However, I don't think you actually see what I'm saying.
I don't think all of the information you have here is necessary. I also think some necessary information is missing. I think you could remove the unnecessary information and add the necessary information without spoiling anything for the reader.
However, I'm just one person as I said before, and I'm comfortable chalking this up to a difference of opinion.
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Oct 12 '05
9:58 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Helpful (Reply to this comment)
by michelle7898
It is not taken harshly at all.... but If I "explain" any more of the game in this review, I will be explaining the whole game and leaving no more for the person who buys the game to find out for themselves. What would be the fun in that? Thats like writing a movie review and discribing to the detail right up to the end.
Thats why I stuck in all the main objects to the game and such. There is A LOT more I could wrote in, but like I said the gamer needs to experience some of the game on thier own.
Yes, I wrote about what I did in the game, just like if I were reviewing a coffee pot. I would have to say how it worked, what I did with it, how I personaly used it and my experience while using it. I see what your saying, but do you see what I am saying?
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Oct 12 '05
9:28 am PDT
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Re: Re: Helpful (Reply to this comment)
by B_Campbell
I understand your concerns, and it looks like others found this review better than I did. I'm also noting the comment you left on another review of mine:
"What do ya know. Your paragraphs are same length as mine. And discribe evry apect as well."
To be more specific, what you've done here for the first part of your review is walk the reader step-by-step through what you did in the game. This can be a good way to explain a game, but in this case it's a bit confusing and makes it sound as if what you're describing is the goal of the game. Is the goal of the game to make Sims fall in love, get married, have sex, and have babies? That's what your description of the game sounds like.
You briefly explain many aspects of the game, but not in any kind of context. How do these things work? The reader is left to guess.
Your summary of the game is apparently:
"Thats really the whole idea. Grown families, build houses using floor and wall tools."
I can't even make sense of that, let alone figure out what the "whole idea" is.
As for the paragraphs, Several of your paragraphs are single sentences. Many of your sentences are incomplete phrases, for example "Once you go in create a family."
All of these things made this review very difficult for me to follow. I'm sorry is this sounds harsh. I believe there may be the right information here for a great review, but it's presented in a way that obscures that information. I'd suggest that you edit it, but I can tell from your hostile tone that you're not interested, and I'm only one person with one rating anyway, so I doubt it matters. I was trying to offer constructive criticism, but I'm sorry if it was taken harshly.
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Oct 12 '05
9:00 am PDT
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Re: Helpful (Reply to this comment)
by michelle7898
I was not happy to read your comment at all. I mentioned the woohoo thing in 2 parts once to explain that it has to be done, because it is a sims "want" and once to say that I don't find it to be suitable for younger ages because you can do this in the game.
Oh and I mentioned it once more in reguards to how to have a sim baby. Which is an important part of the game that people don't often know. When I was new to the game I had no idea how to do it because I never thought you'd have to put the sims in bed together and the first sims you just adopted or bought a baby.
I mentioned the stages of life, how they are gone through and how you must help them to grow a heck of a lot more than anything.
As for my paragraphs...they are brief and to the point about different aspects of the game. I mentioned only one cheat " that comes with the game " so I wasn't revealing anything that a person wouldn't know when they buy it. When switching subjects, a person needs to start a new paragraph, otherwise it will be a jumbled up mess.
And what on earth are you talking about when you say what a player does? I explained pretty much everything a player does. You are entitled to you opinion but there are many others who obviously agree with me and would find your comment to be wrong on most levels.
-Michelle
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Oct 12 '05
6:49 am PDT
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Helpful (Reply to this comment)
by B_Campbell
A few comments.
First, this should be a review, not a walkthrough or cheat guide. It's great to mention things like cheats or specifically how the game progresses, but when you walk the reader through all of the details of playing the game it gets a bit boring.
Secondly, if I wasn't familiar with the Sims games this wouldn't really give me a great idea of what the player does, especially in interaction with the sims. Your description pretty much just makes it sound like the whole point is to getthe sims to have sex with each other. That doesn't quite sound right.
There are also a few places where this is hard to follow, especially with so many paragraph breaks. Try combining some of your sentences and short paragraphs into slightly larger, more easily readable blocks.
If you edit this, let me know and I'll give it another look.
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Oct 11 '05
12:22 pm PDT
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