Double-sauced Meatloaf and Arachnophobia
Written: Jun 14 '01 (Updated Jun 15 '01)
|
Product Rating:
|
|
|
Pros: Tasty home-style food, fairly priced, hot & fresh.
Cons: Mutant spiders in the shrubbery.
The Bottom Line: Sensibly priced, good food in a clean location. Watch for humongous spiders in the bushes.
|
|
|
| thom413's Full Review: Boston Market |
I love Boston Market, and I usually get a dinner to go about once a week. Boston Market is a franchise chain , and while quality and cleanliness can vary from location to location, my local one at Main Street and Route 110 in Farmingdale is always clean. I'm not a huge fan of the decor - they all have the same mural of abstract crates spewing badly drawn produce, and the effect is more like "Boston Airport Cargo Hold" than a market. I am usually served by a smirking little hooligan I'll call Sporto. Why Sporto? Well, his baseball cap is always on crooked, and he insists on addressing me as "Buddy". He just looks like a Sporto. More on that later.
Boston Market's menu is very simple. Roast chicken, meat loaf, and turkey are the main dishes. I far prefer the chicken - it is always moist, tender, and cooked all the way through. Further, the skin is delicious. Which reminds me - the food here isn't healthy, exactly, but like most fast food places, you can construct a healthy low fat meal here with a little effort. The main dishes can be ordered with a variety of sides - corn, mashed potatoes, steamed veggies, creamed spinach, garlic and dill new potatoes, etc. All the sides are tasty, but I usually get the mashed potatoes and green beans. Note that if you decide to go "whole hog" and get three sides with your meal, you will get a very small portion of each. The ill-designed, flimsy plastic plates can only support so much, but it's usually plenty for me. Desserts include a delicious brownie, an amatuerish apple pie, and a pecan pie that has more sugar than nuts. Dessert is usually unnecessary - you get a sweet, cake-like bit of corn bread with any meal. Sandwiches, dubbed "carvers" are available and are served on delicious whole grain rolls. The best and most economical deal are the family meals. For $11.99, you get a whole chicken or meatloaf, three sides, and a dessert! The local paper often has coupons that can save you a bundle as well.
As much as I enjoy the food and find it a great convenience when I don't want to cook, last night's trauma might keep me from going back for a while. There I was at the drive-through, windows down, sunroof open, Darude's "Sandstorm" playing on the stereo. Sporto told me he needed a minute to catch up with the customer ahead of me, but, "I'll be right with you, Buddy.", he assured me. Fine, I thought, enjoying the cool evening air and the nice white rhododendrons flanking the speaker. He returned, and I began my usual order. Then, I saw IT. The spider.
This was not just any spider. Two inches across, with bulging eyes on stalks, this was the biggest living insect I've ever seen. It had hairier legs than an Epinions Beauty Advisor, and it was fast. And of course, it had decided that it really liked the music I was playing, and wanted to join me in the car for what would doubtless be my final rave.
Now look, I love all of God's creatures. And I'm certainly not afraid of a little bug. This was different. So, I did what any 34-year-old, sensible, well educated, 200 pound specimen of virile, diesel manhood would do. I closed the window in Sporto's electronic face, just as he was asking me if I wanted dessert. I sealed the car up faster than you can say "Raid". The damn spider looked mighty disappointed , I can tell you.
After I stopped palpitating, I drove up to the window, where Sporto was holding a brownie aloft like a prize. "Did you want the brownie?" he asked in a tone that strongly suggested that I sure didn't need it. "No, thanks.", I said. Then, feeling some strange urge to explain myself to the little punk, I held my thumb and index finger as far apart as they would go, and said with deep awe, "Spider!". Sporto looked blank for a few seconds, then, with a demonic grin, said, "Oh, you've found her!! Was she wearing her collar?". Sticking his head out the little window, he yelled, "Fifi? Fifi, come home!!"
"I hope it eats you!", I snapped. But Sporto was a million miles away. I could tell that all he was thinking of was the havoc he could wreak with a huge spider in a jar. The evil snorting giggles he was emitting were just the beginning of some scary stuff about to happen. I tore out of the parking lot on two wheels, leaving Sporto and "Fifi" to whatever nefarious plot they could cook up.
Now, if you'll all excuse me, I have to go check under the bed. Fifi may have friends.
Recommended:
Yes
|
|
|
|
Epinions.com ID:
thom413
|
|
Member: Thomas Tronolone
Location: Long Beach, New York
Reviews written: 121
Trusted by: 176 members
About Me:
"Those friends thou hast ... grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel." Hamlet
|
|
|
- Add to My Yahoo!: 
- Add to Google Homepage: 
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.