I have had the honor of getting together a large number of our most dedicated, most prestigious, best writers here on Epinions. A number of you were unable to participate, and a number of you were not asked—due to a shortage of time on my part. I publicized this on the Yahoo! boards in hopes of getting more to sign up, forgive me if I didn’t invite more of you to join. I am pleased, however, to introduce you to the July, 2000 Great Epinions Write-Off. My review is being submitted a day early to ask ya’ll to tune in tomorrow, July 10, 2000.

It was an ambitious project from the out-set. How to put together the largest write-off in Epinions history? I present to you 47 of, I hope, the best reviews Epinions has yet seen. I have asked, for those the timing is convenient for, the participants to submit their reviews at 8 PM local time in whichever time zone they live, and to submit their reviews on the quarter of the hour. As such, you can check out the reviews over a period of four hours and dispersed over 16 hour time period. I submit mine early as an introduction to the topic-at-hand and quarter-hours, so that you don’t have to watch “Just In” for the whole four-the write-off itself. The "Just In" section can be found by travelling to http://author.epinions.com/mji .

With no further ado, I present to you 47 reviews on Burger King (chosen for it’s prevalence and inexpensiveness). Here are the participants in this Great Epinions Write-Off:

42English, awoolcott, badbonz0007, barefooter, brazenmom, briankoller, cmeinoz, coldsteel7, copesullivan, DanneC, dlbrantley, dmfokjf, drlolipop, Endora60, Erin5oaks, fm_hunter, fsutrill, Irishma, jcare, jdanishevsky, Kassie, kcfoxy, krissieliz, kurt_messick, ladyvamp, lap0530, lovdbyGod7, Lunadisarm, marvienhill, mattjoe, moonvine, vandyke, Njymix, Patrick860, paulbg, pogomom, poseidon, prepoia, Pyanfar, Tatoodjedi, TeddieC, that-guy, tiffer0220, toniroger, VeeZee, Workingmomof2, ZentropaJK.

In the case that you don't wish to surf "Just In" for hours (who does?) Pogomom has done a great and unexpected job of providing links to all the participants' profile pages. Thanks Helen! You can find these links at: http://author.epinions.com/user-lovdbygod7 .

And now, my friends, my colleagues, I present to you the largest write-off in Epinions history, hence its name:

The Great Epinions Write-Off

The Review Itself: Part the First
First Impressions

My first conscious thought to include in this review was this: the Burger King is not easily accessible, at least not from the road which I approached it on. It is, however, directly accessible to a less-traveled street and can be seen easily from the street which I approached on, so I have no complaints there. I parked near the door and proceeded to go inside, preceded by a couple in their 60s. This couple gave me a chance to see how the cashiers handled customers other than myself and to give an objective judgment. What I saw was reminiscent of my job at Godfather’s Pizza.

Two teenage gentlemen were occupying the counter. For the sake of elaborate description, we’ll name these folks Cashier 1 and Cashier 2. I don’t want to excite you with too detailed nomenclature. As we restaurant workers will do, these two persons were jesting and clowning around. Well, as it wasn’t Ronald McDonald-land, and as these gentlemen were wearing the famous Burger King paper crowns, so I suppose they were kinging around. I hope this didn’t add too much humor to the review as I am trying to keep the entertainment value of this review at the same level as watching Ben Stein recite the number Pi to the 13,000th digit.

They kinged around a little much, prompting the customer in front to ask “Manager’s not around, is she?” To which Cashier 1 replied “Yeah, she’s right there, but Amy’s cool.”

“I see.”

He proceeded to give Cashier 1 his order. I didn’t take extensive note of this, I was too busy seeing what I could of the kitchen and the counter areas and evaluating the cleanliness of these areas and the dining room. After several minutes of watching Cashier 1 make liberal use of his microphone to call back bits and pieces of this couple’s order, it was my turn. I asked if they offered the 2 Whoppers for $2 deal I heard offered on television. They did not. So I changed my plans to include a Whopper meal, King sized, with a Dr. Pepper (nope, no water here either—my health has gone to heck already after McDonald’s). I got my drink from the fountain to the right after having been told my number which I promptly forgot. I turned again to see my food waiting for me. So I turned again to seek a seat.

Part the Second
The Dining Room and General Cleanliness

I must say I was highly impressed with the general well-kept appearance of the store. The floors could use a little sweeping and there were a couple of fries in the counter area between the dining room and the kitchen, but nothing major nor more than one would expect. There was a single annoying fly, however. Anyway, looking around me the dining area was divided into an inner area and an outer semi-circle by four foot walls topped with glass bricks.

I was in a booth in the outer circle, with a condiment stand directly to my left and a good view of the kitchen area and the counter area, as well as the two cashiers. Having eaten my meal I took a trip to el baño (the bathroom) in order to analyze this restaurant to the utmost. Ah the pains I take for our little community! The restroom was clean, including a toilet and a urinal. The toilet wasn’t flushed, but the employees can’t help this, can they? Upon leaving, one notes a sign on the door: “Employees must wash their hands after their interruption before returning to their workstations.” I though “interruption” was a most interesting description of the activities taking place within. But enough of that, back out to the dining area.

Part the Third
My Meal

I opened my Whopper, mayonnaise and ketchup only, and poured out my fries. I salted and peppered the burger and liberally salted the fries, sealing my impending death from hypertension and arteriosclerosis. What a great life. Then I pulled out napkins from the ¾s full napkin dispenser (there was one at each table) next to me. I then took a bite of my burger. The first bite didn’t have many condiments on it, pretty dry. The last bite had too much. But hey, why be so picky?

The Whopper was very good, having a tasty flame-broiled taste. Although I find ironic BK’s pride in their flame-boiled burgers when they keep their meat warm by steam in order to expedite service. The fries were good, but had no salt on them. Much, much worse than McDonald’s french fries, but a lot better than Burger King’s older fries (before they started coating them with something).

Overall, the meal was quite tasty and rather enjoyable. I give the experience two thumbs up. Unfortunately, I can’t speak for all members of this chain. Nonetheless, if you ever visit my neck of the woods, I can recommend a decent, cheap fast food experience. My meal cost $4.12 and was more than sufficiently filling. Sorry for little humor in this review, the inspiration that comes with Oldies just isn’t there when your dad is watching a documentary on Devil’s Island.




Recommended: Yes