CiCi's - pizza for the masochist in you
Written: May 15 '05
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Cheap
Cons: Bad food, screaming kids, did I mention the bad food?
The Bottom Line: -
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| carnut2k4's Full Review: CiCi's Pizza |
You don’t tug on Superman’s cape
You don’t spit into the wind
You don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And You don’t mess around with Pizza!
When Joe Croce (no relation as far as I know) started the CiCi’s Pizza chain twenty years ago, it was a dark day in culinary history. Granted its target market is not me, but in the past several years I have found myself dining at CiCi’s about once a year nonetheless.
Setting the stage
The two (of hundreds of) locations I have been to are run the same. As you enter this strip mall store all the pubescent employees scream ‘Welcome to CiCi’s!’ at you in an incongruous vocal assault. You approach the register where you pay up front (well played Mr. Croce) and are issued a plastic tray. You place your tray on the track (think school cafeteria) and proceed down the line. Stacks of plates are there for you and the first station you pass is the salad bar. All the standard produce and a few dressings are available. There’s nothing fancy here – but if there was, it would be out of place anyway. The salad just may be the best part of your dining experience at CiCi’s. After the salad there is a large steam tray filled with Ziti. The Ziti is best described as ‘institutional food’. Army, public school, prison – take your pick. Any would be proud to serve you this Ziti. After the pasta you come to the staple of CiCi’s, the pizza.
First things first
On behalf of New York, this is not pizza. Now that we have that out of the way…let’s get down to brass tacks. CiCi’s offers quite a few varieties of their ‘pizza’. It’s a smallish round pie (about the size of Domino’s or Pizza Hut) made with a thin crust. There’re the standards like cheese and pepperoni and also many others like Hawaiian, etc. I’ve never seen less than a dozen different pies out and this is an ‘all you can eat’ place so feel free to try ‘em all. I find the crust to be completely lacking in flavor and too chewy to be considered a pizza crust. The sauce, cheese and various toppings are worth every bit of the $3.99 you spent to gain entry to this feast. This is low quality, mass produced ‘food’ for families with screaming children – which is a lovely segue into the ambiance of the restaurant.
Bring the earplugs
I’ve never had the pleasure of a meal at Chuck E Cheese but I imagine it is quite similar to CiCi’s. The locations I have dined at both had wall mounted TVs blaring cartoons and several video games providing the perfect din over which to choke down your four bucks worth of ‘pizza’. Formica topped booths with low slung, connected benches provide no buffer for you. Most things you touch will be sticky. The bathrooms are reasonably clean though, which I must applaud the staff for. The legions of screaming kids running amok in the dining area are some how held at bay and do not manage to render the restrooms completely unusable.
Please send me to bed without dessert
The desserts at CiCi’s are Mr. Croce’s final insult. The same ‘pizza’ crust is covered with ‘dessert’ stuff and cut into slices like a regular pizza pie. There’s one with a chocolate sauce that I’m reasonably sure contains no actual chocolate, another one has cinnamon apples and there are one or two others as well. These are cost effective menu items for the chain but they are truly awful desserts.
Washing it all down
Refillable sodas are available for purchase or for those who really want to dine for only $3.99 you can request a water glass. The water can also be refilled by the customer next to the soda station but they give you a different color glass to make it obvious if you requested a (free) water glass and are using it to drink soda.
In fairness
This is a restaurant for folks who have different requirements of a restaurant than I do. If, indeed, you are looking to feed a family of five for twenty dollars and the kiddies don’t know from good food anyway, then this place will certainly fill that niche for you quite nicely. Given that this scenario is the actual marketing intent of the chain, I will end by recommending CiCi’s to families who fit the mold, all others – turn around and run as fast as you can when you see this place.
My first time eating at CiCi’s the cost of a meal was $2.99. A couple of years ago the price was raised to $3.99. If they raise the price to five bucks they would find themselves swimming the same waters as McDonald’s and would probably be in trouble. Price point is the only advantage to eating here and even at $2.99 I felt I over paid.
www.cicispizza.com
Reservations..............not taken / needed
Vegetarians...............salad, pasta, pizza
Bathrooms.................clean
Kid Friendly...............to a fault
Hours.........................by location
Dress Code................no shoes / no shirt – no service
Parking......................parking lot / free
Wheelchair Access....yes
Credit Cards...............visa, mastercard
Recommended:
Yes
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carnut2k4
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Member: Jason
Location: in the wind
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Muscle Shoals has got The Swampers
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