This weekend my blubber butt son-in-law decided to take me out to lunch, he said he wanted to eat at Long John Silver’s Fish and Chips. Since I have never even heard of this place, I thought I would give it a try. I have been sick and tired of eating the same old crapola every day and I thought something new would do me some good. I wanted to eat something besides red meat and when my genetic misfit son-in-law mentioned fish, I automatically equated that with healthy. I was wrong.

My son-in-law enjoys lying to me and leaving out great portions of the truth. I don’t think he’s a liar but I know he loves to watch me get angry and I know he enjoys laughing at my misery. When he asked me to go to lunch with him, the only reason I agreed to go with him was because he described this Long John Silver as a seafood restaurant. I thought it was like Red Lobster where you can order from a menu of fresh fish and have it prepared the way you want. Again, I was wrong.

Long John Silver is a low rate fast food joint that serves everything breaded and deep-fried in oil. They serve breaded fish, breaded shrimp, breaded chicken and breaded clams. Since we ordered two combination platters, I had the misfortune of trying a piece of everything. That was a mistake.

I started of eating the fish. Normally when I eat breaded fish I like to glob on the tarter sauce, but the thought of eating their tarter sauce made my stomach turn. It was sitting out at room temperature along with the rest of the condiments and the whole restaurant was sharing from the same filthy, disgusting push top container. So I decided to eat my fish plain. Since I was famished the fish tasted decent, but it didn’t take long after my first bite of this oil-drenched fish for my stomach to start to react. Even my son-in-law heard my stomach make a loud rumble as my unhealthy dump quickly started brewing. I knew it was only a matter of time before the fire works began. I forced down half of a piece of this crapola before the stomach pains became unbearable. I decided to try a shrimp.

After I loaded on the cocktail sauce from the individually rapped packages, the breaded shrimp tasted pretty good. After my first shrimp, I decided to try another but this time without the breading. After picking off the breading, I noticed the little creature had large visible fecal matter near its tale portion, this is the trademark of low-quality shrimp that is not cleaned properly.

I brought the shrimp back to the counter. The sixteen-year-old kid working there just started laughing and showing off the unpleasant sight of the uncleaned shrimp to his fellow coworkers. Than he asked if I wanted something free of charge for my inconvenience. I asked if he could get about three or four of his friends to help me beat the crap out of the guy sitting at my table. Again, just confused laughter.

The chicken is also extremely oil soaked and it looks identical to the fish, but it is my favorite out of everything at Long John Silver’s. But at that point I consumed so much oil that I thought I was going to literally die.

At Long John Silver’s there is absolutely no escaping fried food, even the side dishes (french fries and hush puppies) that come with the platters are fried.

It's not that I'm crazy about fish, I actual dislike it, but my cholesterol level is toping the charts, so unfortunately I can’t eat red meat every day. I’m also getting tired of chicken, I must have tried every boring and healthy chicken dish that you can think of. I just wish God would create another animal that I could eat.

The Bottom Line on Long John Silver’s:
This is without a doubt the worst fast food chain in America. I remember a place very similar back in the 70’s named ArthurTreacher’s Fish and Chips that would also deep fry everything. It is a shame that Long John Silver’s takes something that is healthy and turns it into something that could eventually kill you. When I walked out of their restaurant I felt extremely sick and unhealthy. On the drive home I could not believe the damage I did to my underwear, as hard as I tried, I could not hold back the fury of all that horrible fried food. I am dead serious when I tell you that this place is not for someone my age.

I will never step foot in another Long John Silver’s as long as I live. In the future I will only eat fish that is cooked with a healthy recipe. Life is too short to eat bad food that does nothing but clog arteries


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Long John Silver is yucky poo- pooh (Reply to this comment)
by misc_el
It's sad that you had to learn about LJS the hard way, or should I say...oh nevermind, skip that terrible joke.

Seriously, I have been to LJS a couple times (although not in years, over 10 at least) and it is gross!

I was er, um, "sick" both times.

Bluck!

Enjoy your day,
XOXO
Elaine Jan 08 '03
7:24 pm PST



Not Eaten There In Awhile. . . (Reply to this comment)
by AinsleyJo
. . .however, I've never had any problem with the place.

But I do have a story that might go along with your own.

Went there to eat with a friend one time, and we went back to my place afterwards.

He asked me if he could use my bathroom, because "Long John Silver's is starting to work on me!"

Only seconds after he got in there, I heard the old thundermug thundering.

First, it was a deep-pitched, "BOOOOOOP!."

Then, it was a sort of "boop-a-spzzzzzzzz-boop-boop-boop-spzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-boop!"

Then, I heard him remark to himself, "Ghastly! Simply ghastly!"

Cheers!
AJ :o)





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