Mac and Don’s
Written: Jul 08 '00 (Updated Jul 08 '00)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Well, it was good this time
Cons: Gee, let's think about that!
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| lovdbyGod7's Full Review: McDonald's |
As per my cousin’s nomenclature at the ripe old age of three. I would have written this review last night if I could have though of a title (yeah, right—I was just lazy, sorry). As you know, I work as a temp at a certain unnamed warehouse (call me Mr. Enigma). I forgot my lunch yesterday (left it on the treadmill at home), and since I was going to give blood that same day, I decided I probably better eat something. Normally I would just have gone without. Instead, I asked for McTrouble. Oh, forgive me, I’m listening to Oldies on my Walkman as I write, so I may be less coherent than usual.
My Order and the Exciting Lady Who Took It
I pull into Micky-Dee’s and shut off my car. I need to be back by just after noon so as not to take an even longer lunch (I already was taking a 45 minute one instead of the prescribed 30 said units of time in order to have time to eat and visit. Yesterday was Kelly’s last day). I stepped into the heat (it was only 95 though, these people up here tend to be wimps about stuff like that though) and walked to the door, sun blinding me even through my tinted glasses (it was an awfully bright day).
I detect a line at the register closest to the door. We’ll call that register one. Register three has a shorter line. Register two has only one person in line. I haul rear into Two’s line. Bad mistake. When I finally was “helped” both lines to my side already had their food! As the lady (who looked like she loved her job, but hey, it’s McDonald’s—I’d hate it too) questioned me, I ordered:
A Big Mac meal (medium sized) with a coke for my friend Jason. About $3.40ish before tax.
For myself:
A Double Quarter-Pounder meal supersized with a Sprite (Gasp moonvine: I didn’t get dihydrogen monoxide, for my health. I figured if I was paying for a drink, I might as well get one. And the sugar would be good for my blood that afternoon.). On the burger I want only mayonnaise and ketchup (or do you prefer catsup? How about Catchup? Why not?), no cheese or vegetables. And no cheese. Plus, remember not to put cheese on it (they often have difficulty in their perception and interpretation of “no cheese.” Must be from Wisconsin). Oh, and I don’t want cheese on that burger. Thanks.
Total of both after tax: $9.45. Tax is 6.73%. If you care to figure out the price of this second meal, go ahead. I don’t remember it.
My Soybean Burger and Delectable Fries
Judging by her slowness and multiple requests to repeat the order (I hereby appoint myself president of the Epinions Department of Redundancy Department), I pre-judged her. That’s right, pre-judging. That’s where the term prejudice comes from, folks. I pre-judged this lower-middle class middle-aged Caucasian female. I had prejudice. I should be sued. I pre-judged that my order would be wrong. I’ve actually had people wait upon me who were more energetic than euthanized pandas and still got my order wrong. Maybe she is just meticulous, and that explains her high-strung high-maintenance energetic personality.
All this to say. My order was correct (although my grammar isn’t).
<I love him, I love him, I love him, and where he goes I will follow, I will follow—oops, sorry, that was from the Oldies station.>
That’s right, McDonald’s got one of my orders correct, although they are characteristically wrong about 55% of the time. I was amazed. And befuddled. At any rate, I grabbed a hand-full of salt and pepper packages and hurried out of there. I could just say someone approaching me with a spatula, saying “Hey sir, I forgot the cheese, you want to come over here and let me slap a couple of pieces on that thar burger?” And grinning, displaying his/her gold front tooth, you know, the one that brings out his/her eyes and compliments his/her shaggy disarrayed hair. Okay, the stereotyping there was mean. I’m sorry. Wow, I’m just way off-topic, prejudiced, and stereotypical today. Maybe I could like be a bigot too: No sir, that monkey MAY NOT patronize my restaurant! <David’s other personality grabs him by the tongue and yanks him back onto the subject, then apologizes profusely. My name is Bob, by the way>.
<David>: Ha ha, now I am teasing psychologists (or is it psychiatrists?). <Evil grin>.
<Bob>: Silence thy mouth.
<David>: And you just lampooned Archaic English.
<Bob>: Wanna get hurt?
<David>: Sorry, I’m under control now.
The burger was surprisingly good. They normally glop so much mayo and catsup on there that you can’t even feel the texture of the meat on your tongue, much less taste the soybeans. And it tasted sort of like real meat! I was highly surprised. The fries were good as always. I glanced at the dining room (the term dining room doesn’t go well with the name McDonald’s, does it?). McDonald’s employees reading this: don’t go to work with your Uzi tomorrow and go postal. I’m sorry if I offended you. No pain intended.
<David>: I just made fun of the Post Office!
<Bob subdues David and takes over.>
<”When a Man Loves a Woman” by Percy Sledge>
Sorry, that last comment was the last vestige of David. Please forgive him for this is his 100th review. It’d be awful to see it NR’d. At least I made him end it before I had to get violent. Ya’ll take care now, here?
Oops, I mean hear.
<David>: And you can’t spell, either.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
lovdbyGod7
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Member: David Dinkins
Location: Rolla, Missouri
Reviews written: 139
Trusted by: 307 members
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