The McMuffin Nazi
Written: Mar 11 '00 (Updated Mar 11 '00)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Egg McMuffins
Cons: Orwellian Adherence to the rules
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| Wolfhound's Full Review: McDonald's |
This morning I was a witness to an ugly thing; a riot in 21st Century America. This was not politically motivated, or over some pressing social issue, but over food.
This morning after waking up to 10 inches of fresh snowfall, I decided to drive my wife to work. This being Saturday, and having nothing else to do, I decided this would be a good time to pick up the provisions necessary for these heavy snowfalls. Namely, an 18-pack of Budweiser, and a carton of smokes. After running all of my chores, I decided to stop at McDonalds and grab an Egg McMuffin. The time being just about 10:15, I had just enough time to catch breakfast.
It seems alot of other people had the same idea. There were about 20 people waiting in line, and only one person working the counter. As the time approached for the breakfast/lunch cutoff, the crowd began to grow restless. At the stroke of 10:30, a voice came from behind the Apple Pie dispenser:
"No more Breakfast orders!"
Next on line was a woman with three offspring. With the skill of an old drill sergeant, she reduced the 16 year old behind the counter to tears. The countergirl began to cry hysterically and sat down on the floor with her back to the counter. The store manager, not too much older than the countergirl, came rushing out. Much to his credit, he ignored the woman at the counter and started to help his employee sitting on the floor. The loud and obnoxious woman started lashing out at the manager. The manager, still ignoring her, helped the countergirl into his refuge behind the Apple Pie dispenser. Now the crowd started to get involved. Murmurs and whispers started turning into boisterous complaints. When the manager emerged, he drew a line in the sand.
"No more Breakfast orders!"
At this point, he was marked an enemy of the people. Completely unrelated points started flowing from the crowd.
You ALWAYS serve the drive-thru first!
My fries were cold last week!!
Abortion is Murder!!!
The kids peeking out from behind the McFlurry machine and the McFryer started looking pale. These kids didn't need polyester uniforms and ballcaps; they needed full riot gear and McUzi's. Picturing this image in my mind, I started laughing. I laughed until my sides hurt, and tears fell from my eyes (I'm still laughing as I write this). I hadn't laughed like this in a while. When I finally stopped, the room was quiet, and everybody was staring at me. This seemed to defuse the situation like a water cannon and tear gas grenades. The crowd started heading for the doors, saying "I'll call the owner", and other such nonsense. Me, I had a Big Mac for breakfast.
Now, tell me, did this woman need to fight for that Egg McMuffin like it was the last can of lima beans being handed out the back of some army truck in some post-apocalypse nightmare? And the manager; would the world have ended if the burgers didn't hit the grill at 10:30 AM and 15 seconds? Was this some bizarre power trip? Or a legitimate fear of the McDonalds Corporate Security Forces? Was all this ugliness worth it? In my opinion it was; good laughs like that are hard to come by.
*Rating Note: I gave this restaurant two stars, one for the manager, and one for the customers.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
Wolfhound
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Reviews written: 23
Trusted by: 125 members
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