My husband and I have gone to Arundel Mills Mall many times to shop, dine or see a movie. Its a bit of a hike from our home on the eastern shore, but we like to make a day of it from time to time. Nearly every time we saw the elaborate facade of Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament, we'd remind ourselves to plan on going sometime. Everyone we talked to who had gone raved about the experience and we never heard a negative word spoken beyond the cost, which no one really had a problem with.

ORDERING THE TICKETS:

We finally set a date to experience Medieval Times. While at the mall, I asked at the ticket booth whether they had vegetarian meals available. I was told that they did offer a vegetarian selection and that when ordering our tickets I would simply have to mention that I wanted one vegetarian meal. Sounded easy enough. The next week I went to the Medieval Times website and ordered our tickets. I chose the "Royalty Package" which includes front row seating, cheering banners, a commemorative program, and a souvenir DVD. Usually an additional $10.00 per person, we got an online special of $8.00 per person for the Royalty Package. Tacked onto the base price that brought our total to about $120. The ordering went smoothly and I printed out our tickets, but I never saw an option for choosing a vegetarian meal. I sent an email to the address provided on the web site, asking for assistance. Two days passed without a reply. I telephoned Medieval Times at Arundel Mills and the woman I spoke to was very courteous and helpful. She made a note of my preference and instructed me to alert my server of my meal choice when I attended the show.

BEFORE THE SHOW:

We had tickets to attend a Sunday show which was scheduled to start at 5 pm. Our tickets instructed us to arrive by 3:30. We arrived at the specified time and were told that they were only assigning seats at this point and that seating would not be accessible until about 4:45.

The interior of Medieval Times, including the gift shop, cafe and bar was made to look like the inside of a castle. It was nicely done, but very dark. I understand that they were going for a certain atmosphere, but after a while my head and eyes hurt from straining to see. Having some time to kill, we explored the gift area, which had a nice selection of items ranging from cheap trinkets to t-shirts to pricey statuary and decorative swords. We didn't end up purchasing anything, but enjoyed looking around. We had grabbed a coffee from the cafe earlier in the day, but found the coffee weak and the selection of condiments limited. There were tables and chairs available and many people ordered drinks from the bar before settling in to wait. Unfortunately, there were not nearly enough seats for the number of people waiting, which I suppose is meant to encourage people to wander around and make purchases.

To the far side of the gift shop was a dungeon. For a few dollars a person could enter the dungeon and view the various medieval torture devices including the stocks and some very nasty devices (I would suggest parents NOT bring young children in there). Interesting, but again, very dark, which made reading the informational plaques difficult.

They had "Actors" performing knighting ceremonies for guests who had come to celebrate their birthdays. Other character players wandered through the crowd, posing for pictures and entertaining the crowd. The falconer carried his bird around with him also posing for pictures.

When it came time to be seated, the guests were directed to wait by two sections of doors according to the color of their crowns (each guest was given a crown, color coded to the ticket package purchased). It was a crowded, shuffling entry into the arena, where everyone was directed to their seating according to the card given them when they arrived with their tickets.

We found our seats quickly enough, but were dismayed at how very crowded the seating was. There wasn't room to sit without touching the people to either side of you- and I don't mean just brushing against them. It was very cramped. We were both very unhappy with this, thinking we had paid over $100 to sit in our neighbor's laps!

DINNER:

Our server came and told us we could have unsweetened iced tea or Pepsi. We were to place our mugs with handles pointed in or out depending on our choice, so that he wouldn't have to bother us during the show. Our other option would be to pay additional for items from the bar. To make the experience more authentic, they do not provide silverware of any kind so people must eat with their hands. The food was served throughout the show, but I'll divide up the experiences to make this easier. Soup was served first, but because I had chosen a vegetarian meal, I wasn't given soup. Expecting a feast, we hadn't eaten much that day, so it was uncomfortable to sit through everyone eating, while I awaited my food. Next, bread was brought, which I was given a piece of. It was a small slice, perhaps a slice of french bread, toasted and heavily buttered and garlicky. Large portions of roasted chicken were served and at this time my meal was brought out. I was served a eggplant parmesan surrounded by steamed vegetables. Silverware WAS included with my meal...I guess they couldn't think of anything vegetarian that would allow for the "authentic" experience. The eggplant parmesan was good, but very small. The surrounding vegetables were very overdone and nearly tasteless. I ended up picking at the vegetables throughout the show while my husband finished up his chicken, had some ribs and a baked potato. I had chosen Pepsi as my drink, but it tasted like the syrup without carbonation or additional liquid added (gross!), so on my refill I chose iced tea, which was an improvement. My husband had the Pepsi only (and both times the server filled his cup, he spilled it, once on the cheering banner and commemorative program). My husband enjoyed his meal, describing it as plain, but filling and good. For desert we were given pastries "fresh from the oven". Yes, maybe they were heated in the oven, but they were clearly store bought and very similar to the breakfast pastries one would purchase in a package from the grocery store. They tasted good, but, again, nothing special. We were also served some weak coffee at the end, with dry creamer and sugar packets that had to be shared between four or more people.

So, at this point we can conclude that the money paid does not go towards comfortable seating or great food. On to the show...

THE SHOW:

I had assumed that the show would be a more polished version of what we see at the Maryland Renaissance Festival. It was all very theatrical with strobe lights and mist and drama...and lots and lots and lots of corniness. It was so cheesy, we didn't know whether to groan or laugh.

We've seen horse dancing. Good horse dancing. And the show they put on was not anywhere near what one would expect from a longstanding show. The drama and acting before the action picked up was quite boring. If you're going to stand around and babble about the stupid plot without giving us any action, at least turn the lights up so we can see what we're eating! Oh, wait...never mind. I don't really want to see what I'm eating.

Once the jousting and fighting began, the show became much more entertaining, but there were still some definite problems. Being in the front row we had a clear view of all the action, even with the dim lighting and mist and strobe lights. The choreography of the show was much too obvious with little polish. When an rider fell from a horse he wouldn't even attempt to make it look like a fall, but simply an obvious jump from his horse. There was just enough talent and entertainment to prevent me from throwing my goblet of Pepsi-syrup at them. The ground combat with swords and axes and the like was better, but still to obviously choreographed.



Recommended: No