The Old (fart) Country Buffet
Written: Nov 10 '06 (Updated Nov 12 '06)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Good food, clean (with the exception to the bathrooms).
Cons: Crazy servers and low paid employees that could be maniacs - stinky carpet
The Bottom Line: Go here to eat all three meals - save a buck and get fatter!
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| stockholder's Full Review: Old Country Buffet |
Let me tell you, this Old Country Buffet is sure well worth the money. I pay just $6.75 for dinner because I’m a senior citizen. I pay only $3.40 for my 10-year old grandson. I tell the cashier that he is only 7-years of age and that saves me a $1.80. They normally have one of the minimum wage employees working the cash register and they don’t care about the place at all – I could most likely tell the part-time worker that my grandson is only two years of age and get him in for free. They rarely make eye contact or communicate with the customers. Some can’t even talk unless it’s in the form of a mumble to yourself hip-hop song or a gossip about her cracker-as-s colleague that took her 15-minute break 15-minutes early and then returned 15-minutes late.
When it comes to fabricating a kid's age to save yourself a buck or two - It’s the life long employees that you need to be careful with. You will notice the $27,000 a year career guy a mile away. Just look for the out of date mustache, the high school graduation ring, the reseeding hairline the phony bologna 38 – 44 year old white male that greets you at the door wearing bad loafers with his black dress slacks that he was forced to buy when his cousins married each other a few years back. The same guy that you will later see snapping his fingers at all of his black and Mexican workers in a bizarre ego boosting attempt. This guy you will without a doubt read about years from now when he gets stuffed in the trunk of his 2000 Dodge Stratus by one of his employees that could no longer stand to look at him anymore than his patrons could. These guys always give me the hard questioning routine when I present them a 120 pound 7-year old. The line that always get’s me passed these lactating gelatin heads is that “my grandson forgot his wallet at home, I guess you will need to take my word that he is only seven”. That earns me the “I don’t want any trouble” smile and a personal escort to my booth of choice – preferable away from each corner of the dinning room where they stash the pyramids of dirty dishes and the stench of the outdated carpet is too strong for any carpet cleaner and simply starts to smell like urine.
Despite the employees that are clearly under paid and over appreciated. The dining area is always clean. The food is always hot and fresh and they change around the selection pretty well so you don’t get tired of eating there. Some things that will not change are the Country classics – Fried Chicken, fresh salad bar, green beans, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes and my all time favorite dessert hot bread pudding. You will find these items on the buffet for both lunch and dinner. I will always have a bit of the classics no matter how much the menu changes. Even on my favorite -Steak night – they have a good steak, with your choice of pouring on the grilled onions and sauteed mushrooms. I also enjoy the Old Country Buffet Bar-B-Q night that includes ribs, chicken and roast beef all in a good Bar-B-Q sauce. Every lunch or dinner you will have a fish option. Normally some baked white fish that has far too much lemon and butter cooked-in to disguise the taste of the aquarium in which the mystery fish was raised. Although it is obvious that this white fish is some hybrid cheep-o lagoon bait – there is normally an option for fried shrimps that are the size of rat turds but very tasty when drenched in the right amount of cocktail sauce.
Altogether one item on the menu does not make much of a difference as you we will be eating so many different creatures, veggies and pasta that you will need to find your favorites yourself. The never ending beverages like soda, milk, water, coffee is a nice added touch located by the never ending desserts like cakes, ice cream cones and sundaes. They have good brownies, cherry pie and my favorite in the cookie family – peanut. They also have a great oatmeal raisins cookie that I have learned that I must stay away from. The raisins in this tasty and warm cookie had me passing gas for 13-straight hours. I wasn’t sure if I should call my physician or call the Guinness Book. But this is nothing against the Old Country Buffet’s cookies – I knew in advance that raisins make me fart like I had a cork in it for a year. Not too explosive but never ending like my anis needed a lot of time to catch-up.
It is hit or miss when it comes to the ladies that come and take your dirty used plates. In the Old Country Buffet nearest me they hire older retired type women that are just outstanding at doing their jobs. I barely have time to put a finished plate down before they are retrieving the plate to ship to one of the corners. It is hard to tell if this type of service is for everyone or just for me, the very sexy Mr. Stockholder. But from the looks that I get from these old women make me think that they would like to grab more than a soiled plate, perhaps my trouser snake wrapped in my soiled underpants? Although the retired servers are the ones in which I request when I am dinning in the Old Country Buffet. The alternative is the younger slightly mentally handicapped woman that is overly anxious to sing her version of happy birthday even if no one is celebrating a birthday. Or the ex-con black woman that has figured out that if she compliments and plays with all of the white babies and children the white parents leave a much larger tip. Therefore she does not want anything to do with parties without a child under 4-years of age.
The Bottom Line:
This Old Country Buffet is white trash heaven. Cheap prices, good food filled with huge amounts of yummy fried fattening calories. This is also the right place for the health food crazed just a day or two removed from the third heart attack person. They have a fresh salad bar and fresh hot soups and they will make a bowl with lower sodium just for you by request. The breakfast is served on the weekends only. In the morning they now have a little Mexican guy with a skillet that will make you an egg omelet with your choice of about 20 toppings from broccoli to sausage to onions to cheese. Despite all of your favorite heart pounding breakfast favorites like crisp bacon, sausage and biscuits they also serve healthier choices like juices and fruit, oatmeal and cereal. This Old Country Buffet is a great dinning option if you’re low on cash and want to eat big, healthy, or really unhealthy. Despite being a little scary and smelly this is an ideal place to eat breakfast, lunch or dinner. Unlike some of the other buffets like the chinc – this place does not have a million little rug rats screaming, running around and touching all of the food. This place is more for the old farts, like me.
- stockholder
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Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
stockholder
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 - Top 1000 |
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Member: Chuck Broginger
Location: Chicago
Reviews written: 65
Trusted by: 182 members
About Me:
I am back and with skid marks !
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