A Vegetarian Slums for the Border
Written: Oct 22 '00
|
Product Rating:
|
|
|
Pros: very inexpensive, many vegetarian options if you're creative
Cons: some presumably veggie items contain meat, can be difficult to get substitutions on some items
|
|
|
| Liffey's Full Review: Taco Bell |
The old salad days of fast food vegetarianism truly were the salad days, and that was only when you were lucky. Even today, with changing attitudes towards meat and healthy eating, your typical burger joint in the USA does not have the vegetarian options found at its international counterpart.
Quick drive-thru dining options are increasing steadily for vegetarians, but when you're living in semi-rural Texas and avoiding meat, you best get your buns to the skillet and learn how to cook. Because otherwise you're pretty much looking at side dishes or high prices. (High prices? Yes. For example, our local Subway charges higher prices than in most other US cities, and the cheese and veggie sandwich here costs almost as much as a fully loaded meat one. Then they have the nerve to say that "Subway policy" is that you can only have 4 slices of an olive on the sandwich, even with the Veggie Delite. Uh, right. Home office refuted that. Die, power-tripping local manager, die!)
So, you get the picture on the joys of vegetarian dining in a city where popular fast food establishments enjoy knowing they can charge and do what they please since we're their hostages, often an hour from the other stores.
Despite vegetarians still being portrayed as fuzzy Earth Mothers with bean sprouts tucked behind the ears, sometimes we like unhealthy food. Ice cream, cookies, french fries, Whataburger taquitos... Sometimes we adore unhealthy food. So, and let me speak for all vegetarians without any authorization, when I say that we're tired of people boggling over how we can be vegetarians and eat that fried cheese stick. I actually got into an argument with a waitress last week because my melted cheese-and-veggie sandwich was billed as a "health plate" on the menu and came with fruit instead of fries. I asked if I could substitute fries for the fruit. She kept asking why I would want to do that when it's a "health plate." She couldn't grasp that some of us just like cheese-and-veggie sandwiches, we aren't doing it for our health.
So, getting on to the Taco Bell issue, Taco Bell was a longtime boon for vegetarians who were not part of the "Oh boy, let's cook some lentils!" crowd. There were not necessarily a great number of options, but at least it was cheap, so you didn't mind paying regular price for something with all the costly stuff (the meat) removed.
But it wasn't all rejoicing in the bean pot. Let's face it, Taco Bell wasn't always so mocked, but over the years it has definitely drawn a certain "employees might wash hands after using bathroom" reputation.
This is somewhat deserved. I went four years without eating at Taco Bell because I was poisoned badly there one night. It was so horrible, that it wasn't worth the risk to have it happen again. (That's probably not legally wise for me to say, since I don't have a doctor's report to back me up. I was too sick to go to the doctor, and too uninsured once I started feeling better. What can I say? Welcome to America. Where you're at risk because I couldn't afford to pay for an office visit which would have been squeezed in for next month anyway. Hope you didn't get poisoned too.)
I have known Taco Bell employees, and some are terrific. They run a tight ship, keep things clean, and have not sunken into a dim sullen bitterness because they are working at a fast food restaurant and everyone knows that's a license to take out their minimum wage on the world. But I strongly caution you to only patronize a Taco Bell you are familiar with. If you're out of town and get the craving, and we all know about the craving, then don't use drive-thru. Go inside, look around, and trust your instincts.
I know you're not a health inspector. Some may scoff that things will get past you with this method, so what's the point? Others may protest that this is good advice for any fast food restaurant. True, but you do what you can. I don't wish to imply that you're gambling with your health when you visit Taco Bell or any similar place, just that unfortunately things do happen, bad and painful things, so take five minutes to scope the place out. No one needs a burrito so badly they can't do this much.
But the discontent more specific to vegetarians is are these items truly vegetarian?. The answer is: some of them. According to the International Vegetarian Union FAQ, http://www.ivu.org/faq/food.html, no lard is used at Taco Bell. Preparation does not cause meat and non-meat items to blend. Or so they say. But as Heather #1 would say, "(bleep) me gently with a chainsaw," because the rice is possibly not veggie-friendly. (more below on this)
And hold on with the sour cream and guacamole. According to the IVU it contains gelatin. You know, horse hooves. Here, lean in a bit closer to me. (whispering) Eating horse hooves doesn't really faze me. I put it up there with eating dairy, which I also do. If that makes me less of a vegetarian, fine. I never said I was a vegan. This epinion is geared towards ovo-lactos because that's what I know best.
Despite a few drawbacks, there is now actually plenty to choose from while in Chihuahua country. For one thing, keep in mind that beans can be substituted for meat in any dish.
Unfortunately, this can be a little easier than it sounds, unless your Taco Bell employees are ex-Disney Cast Members, full of sunshine and eager to make the customer happy. Let me pass on to you the first rule in Vegetarian Taco Bell Wisdom: if you're going to ask for any substitutions, the odds of actually getting them increase dramatically if you don't use the drive-thru.
Might sound like common sense, but in the case of Taco Bell there's a very specific reason. "Beef" and "Bean" can sound exactly alike when amplified through the speaker. It's bad enough just trying to order a Bean Burrito. I go into British Over-Enunciation Mode. Learn to total up the cost of your food and make sure it matches what it should, because that's the only way to catch the mistake before you drive home and get the bad news. Taco Bell cuisine, being based on wraps, is not easy to peek at while you're in the car.
I don't know how many times I have ordered, even from a TB where they know me, only to go through this:
Me: Hi, I'd like a taco salad without the BEEF, please.
Bitter Slackjaw Employee: A Taco Salad? Anything else?
Me (wisely verifying): Yes. And that's without the BEEF right?
(pause)
Bitter Slackjaw Employee: Taco Salad, No Be.... (trails off)
Me: Ah, exactly, no MEAT at all.
Bitter Slackjaw Employee: You don't want meat?
Me: (really using those diction exercises now. maintaining cheerful I'm-not-a-pest tone) Correct, I just want BEANS instead of BEEF
(pause)
Bitter Slackjaw Employee: Okay. Please drive up.
And from there you just cross your fingers. If you haven't had the frustration set in to where you don't even want to deal with it anymore, confirm your order at the window. That means eye contact. Which is why I don't always go inside. Making confident eye contact while calmly requesting that the beef not be added can make some workers surly. It's all too stressful. There gets to be a point where I like my 80% odds of getting what I want if it means I can just drive through and be done with it.
What to Order?
Some Taco Bells have more than others. Some have the Frito Burrito, others don't. Some have the Taco Ice Cream, others don't. Some have breakfast, mine sure as hell don't. Doesn't. Whatever. By the way, avoid that Taco Ice Cream; it's just vanilla ice cream with a hard chocolate shell shaped like a taco. No fried ice cream with cinnamon here.
The Taco Salad already mentioned is served in a beautiful, enormous, deliciously fatty shell with lettuce, cheese, onion, sour cream, and salsa. One of the priciest items on the menu, and you will feel a little ripped off if you're getting it without the meat. I used to ask for the meat on the side but never found anyone who would eat it. Someday we're going to get the hungry people of the country better coordinated with those of us who have leftovers, I just know it.
Until then, be sure and say you want plenty of beans. I've opened the box to be greeted by a decorative dab more than once. The problem is, the majority of meat eaters who frequent Taco Bell, or work there, don't think of beans as a main dish. They don't want to eat more than a side portion of beans, so they don't think you do, even when you've gone so far as to specify that the beans are to replace the meat. Just stay friendly and speak up for yourself. The Taco Salad, unlike the lower-priced dishes, is worth fighting for.
The Bean Burrito is probably my favourite. I doctor each one with two packets of the red sauce. (Acquiring the legendary green sauce is too much work for me these days. Best to leave it to the young folks.) I also ask for extra onions. Mmm mmm. That kind of substitution/upgrade/change is generally easy to get. Please be aware that the Taco Bell red sauce sold in grocery stores is not vegetarian, unlike their restaurant version. Ditto on seasoning.
Tacos, weighing in at 39 cents and available in the quantity value pack, are the hands down best deal on the premises. But of course they are normally made with meat. I do have good luck with these at the drive-thru at the location near my house. I say, "Hi, I'd like 3 tacos please, but I don't want any MEAT on them. Instead I would like BEANS, please. Is that alright?"
Ending with the question forces a response, causing the cashier to pay extra attention to getting it right. Don't ask me why I don't do this with the Taco Salad, it just doesn't seem to work as well. You may have better luck. Tacos are available soft or crunchy or stacked (double decker). I have never deviated from the crunchy tacos of my youth, which I love for the mixed sensation of warm beans within crisp shells contrasting with that cold, cold iceberg lettuce and cheese. Again, keep in mind that all Taco Bell tortilla shells are fried in vegetable oil. People talk about the greasiness of Taco Bell foods, but few items other than the obvious contain animal fat.
The Seven-Layer Burrito was a guilty pleasure for a long time, until about five or six years ago when, in an effort to lump "meat-free" and "healthy" into one product, they started making all 7-Layers with the reduced fat sour cream and cheese. In other words, they took the "Lite" version off the menu and made the "Regular" low-fat and didn't tell the customers.
It was disgusting. It's true that I was no fan of low-fat foods at the time. They've become better, in fact I ate some today (but I'm on a reduced fat diet at the moment), but back then I didn't want it if it wasn't "real". I'd rather eat less of the yummy stuff than more of the yucky stuff, know what I mean?
Still, I wasn't prejudiced when I bought my first changed 7-Layer because I didn't know about it. When I got home, I just thought I had a bad burrito. A week later I was reading the alt.food.taco-bell newsgroup and learned that this was new policy. So in a blind taste test, it failed.
I understand from iffy sources that the 7-Layer Burrito, with its sour cream, cheese, lettuce, tomato, rice, beans, and sauce, has since returned to its former glory. But because the rice issue is up in the air - I have not been able to convincingly find out if they made the rumoured switch from chicken stock to veggie stock - it may not be veggie-friendly.
I should also mention that whether Taco Bell cheese contains regular rennet and not vegetable rennet has also been difficult to uncover, what with conflicting information being given from so-called "official" sources (employees). Another rule: if you contact Taco Bell to find out what's in their food, do it twice. You may get a different answer. Sad, but so many calls to corporate offices are like this anymore.
These days, most mass-market non-fancy cheese in the USA seems to contain "vegetable rennet" instead of fish oil, but it's still worth investigating if you are uncomfortable with animal items which are not as clear a by-product as, for instance, milk and cheese.
Tostadas are always meat-free, and are a flat crispy tortilla shell covered in beans, cheese, and lettuce. I used to get a Tostada, sauce it up, and fold it in half like a taco. At least until I discovered that Taco Bell had become generally easygoing about making meat-free tacos. Definitely the better value to go with tacos.
The Tostada looks a lot like a Mexican pizza, but don't confuse that with the real Mexican Pizza, with its meat between two layers of crisp tortillas, and smothered with cheese. Yes, for once more than the shredded straggles. Jalapenos and onions can be found sprinkled on top. Like the Taco Salad, it can be hellish to order without the beef. Your mileage may vary and probably, hopefully, will. I have been ordering the Mexican Pizza for fifteen years, however, so I can speak confidently about my own experience.
Beware the Pintos 'n Cheese. Not because they're nasty or contain meat, but because they're astonishingly bad value for something you can microwave up at home. If you don't think so, then I bet it's because you have a renegade Taco Bell where they fill the cup. Ours was like that once. Then one day they only half-filled the cup. 3 ounces of refried beans for almost a dollar, more than the cost of a Bean Burrito. On my next trip, I asked to make sure they filled the cup, and said how last time it was only half full. (Don't ask me why I was getting the bland beans in the first place; sometimes you want something fast, from the drive-thru, but not the same thing you always get.)
That's when I was told that they are only supposed to fill the cup half way. I smell the clueless managerial process at work. Even if this is all they can afford to give for the price, giving a customer a small cup which is clearly only filled to 50% capacity is not a smart marketing move. I had my beans comped that day (sorry, that Vegas vacation lingo is setting in) but I don't order them now. One, because they really are quite bland with just a few pieces of cheese on top, and Two, because I vote with my dollars by not patronizing this product.
God bless the Cheesarito, whatever became of it. Is it what they now call the Cheese Quesadilla? I can't say, because these aren't available where I live. Yet I know we're all still excited that, after years of begging, they returned the beloved Enchirito to us. They had to leave off the signature black olives, but it's better than nothing. I should know, nothing is exactly what I get. I've made three attempts to order a meatless enchirito at two separate Taco Bells, and am always vaguely told that "it comes in chicken or beef." Either I'm being unclear, which could well be the case, or there's some thaw-it-out action going on.
Sometimes I have been grumpy that a restaurant with so much potential for vegetarian possibilities has not come up with more options. But that's unfair. Ordering-screen real estate is precious, and when you start substituting beans for meat you end up with plenty of options. Furthermore, while the front line of Taco Bell employees can be prone to vegetarian-unfriendly attitudes, the corporate offices have been listening.
I hope you don't think that I'm striving for special privileges for vegetarians which would involve diminishing meat eater options. No way. I don't tell other people what to eat. Well, people other than Mike, and I only nag him because I love him and want him to live a long time. And also because it's awfully mean to eat Cadbury chocolates in front of a dieting girlfriend who is viciously stuffing air-popped butterless popcorn into her mouth.
I won't deny that I'd be a great deal happier in a world where the process of meat consumption was made more friendly to the environment and everyone's general health, but I'm not here to demand that they ditch the steak chalupa for a veggie wrap sandwich. (Taco Bell actually had "Veggie Fajitas" once. I strongly suspect it was a case where "veggie" did not equal "vegetarian". It was extremely vile and greasy. Another story.)
I can't let my editorial on How to Write a Restaurant Review bite me on the butt here, so let me quickly touch on a few other issues mentioned there which I've not yet covered. (That epinion may be found at http://liffey.epinions.com/user-review-7F8E-116CDBF5-39C6A9E5-prod3, and thank you for that penny which just fell from the sky.)
Food Temperature: It's surprising, but for a fast food chain where the items I order aren't usually sitting under the heat lamp, food is always warm. A lifetime of eating at Taco Bells across the country, and I don't remember ever being served cold food, or even tepid food which cooled by the time I arrived home.
Restaurant Atmosphere: Bring back the well with the bell! Remember those? Haven't seen one in years. Taco Bell has now spent years trying to ditch that brown and red for pink and blue, but it hasn't quite taken. Both Taco Bells where I live remain doggedly in the brown motif. I will be sorry when it's gone, as remarkably horrid as those brown and orange polyester uniforms from the past used to look.
As far as lighting, table spacing, and booths/tables set-up, it's all average fast food decor, no surprises. Taco Bell doesn't seem as loud as other places, probably because they haven't instituted a playground enclosed in a glass gordita with free Chihuahua rides yet. Most Taco Bells I encounter are clean, some more sparkly than others, again nothing stands out.
Taco Bell takes a lot of abuse, and it's often not really justified. You have to view this restaurant in context. And for a very inexpensive fast food meal, I think they are amongst the best, much as it pains me to endorse them despite this praise.
To expect Tex-Mex cuisine is unfair. Taco Bell's menu comes from an imaginary land where head chefs may have watched The Three Amigos once.
To expect excellent service would be reasonable in a perfect world, but not in ours. Like I said, there are gems, but the mentality of the average fast food worker is either immature being they're young, or crusty and reckless because they aren't. Yet Taco Bell employees, who must put up with my special requests and a bargain-seeking consumer base, are more reliably friendly and interested in helping me than other chains of this ilk.
As always, each Taco Bell is a kingdom unto itself, and your experience may be completely and consistently different. But if you lean towards pseudo-Tex-Mex hankerings yet want to eat a full meal for under $1.50, there's no other place to run.
Recommended:
Yes
|
|
|
|
Epinions.com ID:
Liffey
|
|
Reviews written: 79
Trusted by: 71 members
About Me:
I like thinking.
|
|
|
- Add to My Yahoo!: 
- Add to Google Homepage: 
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.