Yummy Taco Bell!
Recommend this product?
How I love to run for the border and get some Taco Bell.
Taco Bell is a fast food restaurant, everyone knows that. In the New England area, it has no competition from any other Mexican style fast food restaurant, because there just aren't any. Instead Tacos, Chalupas, and gorditas must compete with the mighty Chicken McNugget and Pizza Hut for the dollars of, The People's Expert.
Why I love Taco Bell.
Every single hot sauce I have ever ordered on any type of taco or salsa has been no more than a mere pretender. They have brought shame on the adjectives "fire" "nuclear" and "hot." Taco Bell Fire sauce is the hottest of the mass produced salsa style food toppings. I applaud Taco Bell for coming up with a sauce so warm that after dumping 4 packs into each of my soft tacos, that my nose will start to run. I want to be able to taste the heat. "Hot" and "mild" just don't do it for me. Spicy is good.
I am a firm believer that any country with a main food product which cannot be eaten without making a mess is doomed to advance no higher than 2nd world status. This is the reason Mexico will forever be a source of cheap labor for United States companies. However, I do love it when they export their food stuffs to America. Perhaps this is a great ploy to bring down the 1st World status of the United States, that's fine with me, I'll be happy stuffing tacos in my mouth.
Tacos come in two types, hard, and soft.
Hard tacos- the crunchy kind. Inherently messy.
Soft Tacos- the soft kind which are wrapped in a tortilla style soft shell. You can unwrap a soft taco. Soft tacos tend to have more meat, lettuce and cheese in them. They are easier for the employees to stuff, and they are larger than the hard taco. The soft taco will also hold 4 packages of sauce, whereas the hard taco cannot hope to retain that much sauce without bursting. The soft taco is easier to eat, and less messy. However, every now and then, you need the crunchy taco.
Those are the two main reasons I love Taco Bell. The rest is just cheese on the taco.
A flour tortilla baked to be mildly crunchy, covered with cheese, some beef, and some sauce with tomato bits. This is decent. I won't order this out of desire, but will snack on it if I happen to have one handy. I'll top it with fire sauce, of course.
Nachos Bell Grande
These are nachos, with cheese, some green stuff (guacamole) and some white stuff (sour creme?), and some beef. They are more or less an appetizer for more than one person. Eaten alone, it could be a meal.
The mighty Chalupa
This is good stuff. It is a slightly larger taco, with a different, bread like shell. The chalupa is more absorbent when it comes to sauce than is the hard taco. However, the chalupa regularly has sour creme on it, I have to scrape it off. Sour creme doesn't belong on a taco, or a chalupa.
A burrito is a burrito, it's this little rolled up thing, sort of like a soft taco, just not as good. Often times, filled with beans.
The taco bell may or may not be open for breakfast in the Rhode Island/Masschusetts area. I have never attempted to go to Taco Bell for breakfast, and never seen a car outside the Taco Bell at the early morning hours.
In the land of, "just about everything closes at 9pm" Taco Bell remains open until 2am in some areas around here. This is a wonderful thing.
I am convinced, the Taco Bells in this area, hire the dumbest of the dumb. Perhaps being a stoned teenager gains you points in the hiring process of Taco Bell. Call it affirmative action if you like, I call it downright annoying. I lose a little bit of faith in the future of this country every time I go to Taco Bell. But I gain some yummy food, the country may fall apart, but I will still have fire sauce.
Fire Sauce is so good, it bears mentioning two times.
Fire Sauce is left out for you to serve yourself, it is not hoarded behind the counter like McDonalds does to its' sauces. This means I can stock up. Handfuls of sauce must be thrown into the bag. If I use an average of 4 packs per taco, and I buy the Grande Meal, I need a minimum of 40 packs of sauce.
Better get extra, just in case.
The Grande Meal.
The best thing to buy when running to the border. The Grande Meal consists of any combination of 10 tacos, hard or soft, or bean burritos. Plus the optional Mexican Pizza and Nachos. This entire order comes out to just over $10, plus, you get a drink.
The Crunchy Border Taco
Now just .99 cents for 2. That's pretty cheap. Go get some.
Ice Cream Taco
Contains Ice Cream and some crushed cookie in a taco shaped shell. This is most like an ice cream cake wrapped in a waffle cone.
Like McDonalds and Burger King there are the different value meals, ranging in price from $2.99 to $10.00 for varying amounts of tacos, burritos, Chalupas, and whatever else, plus a drink.
Or make up your own meal, tacos are generally .79 cents each, Chalupas are closer to 1.50.
Taco Bell helps defeat Cancer
Being the socially conscious person that I am, I must mention that Taco Bell helps cure Cancer. Therefore, one must eat more Taco Bell. Taco Bell helps fight cancer, not just by keeping you "regular" they have a program where you can donate to The Jimmy Fund, this fund supports the Dana Faber Cancer Institute in Boston. The Red Sox also support The Jimmy Fund. The Jimmy Fund seeks to cure cancer in little kids. It isn't fair that little kids get cancer. So one must donate to The Jimmy Fund. As an added bonus, you get a little card, which gives you a dollar off each value meal purchased for the coming year. So, not only have I helped some poor kid who has cancer, I've saved a bunch of dollars, and kept myself well fed, and "regular" this is always a good thing.
Words to live by
Almost every single product at Taco Bell contains a dairy product in the form of Cheese. If you're lactose intolerant, be sure you have some type of pills or something so you don't get sick.
Read all comments (14)