The best toppings that can come from a caulk gun
Written: May 21 '00
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Burritos/chalupas with chicken/steak
Cons: Anything involving beef... excuse me, "MEAT"
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| Andrew_Hicks's Full Review: Taco Bell |
Okay, so none of us actually expects a quality meal while dining at Taco Bell. For about the same price, we could be eating more natural and better-tasting Mexican fast food from a chain like Tomatillo. But most of us probably go to Taco Bell anyway, for reasons undetermined. The best I can come up with is, sometimes you want Mexican food and sometimes you want Taco Bell, and never shall the twain shall meet.
I originally became hooked on Taco Bell about ten years ago, during the 59/79/99 days. You remember, don’t you? Nearly everything on the menu was under a dollar. Taco Bell was one of the only chains that offered free soda refills, and you could eat and drink to your fill for four bucks or less.
Those days are long gone now – menu prices vary by region, but you really can’t get anything at Taco Bell for less than 89 cents, much less 59. And my secret to Taco Bell longevity is to completely avoid the “beef,” and avoiding that costs you extra. The 79-cent Chicken Soft Taco, for example, now goes for $1.29, and the supreme Chicken Burrito will run you almost three bucks.
I advocate beef avoidance because well, Taco Bell beef is beyond nasty. I have it on good authority from people I’ve known who work at the restaurant that the beef comes in large boxes simply labeled “MEAT.” Who knows if there’s horse, cat or rat ground up in there. Let’s be honest – the food at Taco Bell in many ways has been made substandard in the name of convenience. If you haven’t noticed from the odd suction-and-release noises coming from the food prep area, most of the toppings are shot from caulk guns, and the refried beans are also rehydrated.
Somehow, though, when it all comes together for an entrée like the 7 Layer Burrito or a Steak Supreme Chalupa, both topped with plenty of fire sauce, I forget all my quibbles about the restaurant. The menu items also vary from time to time, and you should take advantage of the introductory prices on new items.
If you’re expecting real Mexican food, you’ll be better off elsewhere, but for a quick meal – a couple of decent burritos and a Mountain Dew – you’d be hard pressed for a quicker, more reliable pseudo-Mexican restaurant.
One final note, to any Taco Bell executives who might be reading this (I don’t kid myself, but it’s worth a shot) – if you know what’s good for you, please bring bring back the Chicken Club Burrito and the Choco Taco. I have dead relatives I don’t miss as much as those two menu items.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID: Andrew_Hicks
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- Top 500 |
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Member: Andrew Hicks
Location: St. Louis, MO
Reviews written: 689
Trusted by: 638 members
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