Role Models and Giant Rabbits
Written: May 23 '01 (Updated Aug 10 '01)
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Pros: Food, cleanliness, expert staff
Cons: the Sixers
The Bottom Line: Get there early, and make sure you have some good credit.
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| nolan_j_sephoy's Full Review: First Union Center |
Yes the NBA playoffs are upon us, as a matter of fact at this time only four teams remain in those same playoffs. One of them being the fabled Philadelphia 76ers who make their home in the famed Spectrum 2 Arena, no sorry, the CoreStates Center, no wait, the First Union Center, hold up a sec, I meant the Wacovia center.
Yes, this incredible piece of architecture has had more names in its five years of existence than Madonna has had lovers in that same time span. This puts a tremendous strain on the poor Event Staff who not only have to change name tags every other week, but also have to learn to smile and say things like, "Welcome to the First-er, uh, the Wacovia Center" to attending spectators.
The building itself is beautiful, well if you could call a building which was erected as a place for spoiled millionaire athletes to run around playing children's games beautiful. And you can bask in the beauty as you make that twenty minute walk from the South Philly street you had to double park your car on because you don't feel like paying ten bucks to park. Once inside, it has many interactive attractions for children and their parents to learn about some of the greats that passed through the Sixer organization. Such greats as Julius Erving, Wilt Chamberlain and Armond Gilliam. As well as many museum-like shrines to the many Flyers and Sixers that sweated, and risked their very lives in front of the merciless Philadelphia fans. As you walk around the concourse of the First Union, or rather the Wacovia Center, you'll find many things to pique your interest as well as stimulate your appetite. That brings us to the food. Ah yes, the food that heart clogging South Philadelphia cuisine is very easy to find. You can get anything from Roasted Chicken Sandwiches to, uh Roasted Beef Sandwiches. Unfortunately, purchasing these delicious entrees is not as easy as you'd think. Its gonna cost you your child's education fund in order to buy a beer or that wacky cheese steak sandwich. On a related note, there's only ONE cash machine in the place, which means you're going to have to stand in a line which resembles the line at the Red Square MacDonald's in order to draw enough cash out so that you can be gouged by the occasionally friendly food service vendors.
Once you get your food, you can make your way down to your seats. If you're one of the many blue collar Sixer fans than can afford the 75 dollar tickets you can sit in the first level under the watchful eye of those who are more important than you up in the club box seats. If you are REALLY blue collar, you can grab some seats up in the second level. Yes, the second level which during the hey-day of Johnny Davis, Brad Greenburg and the first three years of Larry Brown's tenure was reserved for people smoking pot, now that the team is successful its reserved for drunk bandwagon riders who couldn't name the Sixers' bench if you bought them a five dollar beer. The low ticket up there is 12 bucks, or at least it was during the regular season, however, those seats are designated as BYOT. Or, Bring Your Own Telescope. The seats have pros and cons in the twelve dollar row. Pro: Since it is the last row in the building you can stand during the action and not obstruct anyone's view. Con: You have to worry about being clipped by a low flying plane.
There's nothing in the world like watching a basketball game from four stories up, and the nice people at Spectrum 2, I mean the Comcast Center have gone as far as to have "For Rent Binoculars" in a locked case built into the underside of the second level seats. Don't get excited the binoculars aren't free. However, if you're lucky some drunked up Sixer fan behind you with enough spare cash to crack open the binoculars case, may get angry enough to beat a fellow spectator, maybe even yourself, into a coma with said binoculars.
Speaking of beating someone into a coma, Allen Iverson leads the Sixers through these playoffs. And truly is there any better person in the world to root for? Not for my fifty bucks, Mona! But the excitement of an Iverson lead team is nothing compared to the side show his friends and family have going. Yes while that little thug twirp is out there driving the lane, and diving to the court anytime someone comes near him, his mother is present behind the basket to annoy anyone with a hundred bucks and the unfortunate luck to sit courtside. Mom hops up and down screaming "That's my BABY!" any time Iverson dribbles. Thankfully with the way the NBA calls traveling it's not THAT often. Ma's ensemble of gaudy jewelry is completed with her own number 3 Sixer jersey with 'MOM' in the name plate. Classy. As if Iverson's spotlight hungry mother jumping around making an fool out of herself wasn't enough for you, Iverson's army of friends, or his 'Posse' roam the building, buying concessions and beers with their friend's hard earned money and drunkenly picking fights with the poor Event Staff trying to eek out their five-forty an hour, which is tremendously entertaining. Just don't look at any of them crooked. You're olfactory nerve will alert you to their presence as they reek of marijuana.
The Posse is not the only annoyance roaming the halls, no not by a long shot. The Sixers mascot Hip-Hop a six foot three goofed up college dropout in a rabbit suit jumps on you, slaps you on the back and generally makes your life a living hell for the duration of the time you spend trying to get to the men's room. After five minutes with this joker, easily the most painfully annoying mascot in all of sports (and that's saying something), you'll find yourself thinking that a romantic cruise for two for you and Don Knotts may not be a bad idea.
So, bring the kids down and get ready to be gouged. But it's okay because you can teach your kids a lesson. You can set your young impressionable child on your lap, point to Allen Iverson and say, "See, if you have a dream and work hard you too can make it to the NBA someday. Despite your size and being sentenced to seven years for assault."
Recommended:
No
Parking Availability: Better Get There Early
Seat Location: Mid Level
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Epinions.com ID:
nolan_j_sephoy
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Member: Joe Boylan
Location: Philadelphia, PA USA
Reviews written: 65
Trusted by: 9 members
About Me:
You know finger prints are just like snowflakes, they're both very pretty.
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