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Wow! (Reply to this comment)
by Don_Krider
Lobster,
I am now going to have nightmares about being marooned with Jesse Jackson --- yikes!
These all sound like typical Fox programming, too, such as "When Epinions Attacks" and "Nirav's Most Wanted"...
Don :)
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Aug 17 '03
11:56 am PDT
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Glad that SOMEONE is still writing here (Reply to this comment)
by martytdx
I've been strangely uninterested in the NEW Epinions, but yours were some that I had to check out - I'm glad I did, you provided a much needed laugh on a bad day.
I do have one suggestion for you:
TEMPTATION TALK SHOW: Strap Sally Jesse, Geraldo, Ricki, Oprah, Springer, Montel and the rest of these hooligans onto an island with a limited amount of food and the winners of the TEMPTATION TRAILER PARK contest - havoc will ensue and be enjoyed by the idiot masses!
-- Marty
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Feb 20 '01
10:53 am PST
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Re: Re: I Love You For Your Body... (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
Only 1 proposal this past week?! Well I am both outraged and scandalized, and will certainly advise you as to why that might be when I figure it out myself...
Crack Addicts?-- and with all those great vices out there to choose from; it's a damned shame... .
Okay--
Lemme see if If I've got this straight:
1. I rear the moppets--
Oh, what the hey... what's 10 more little whelps between spouses...
2. Re: Coitus Interlaughus
I certainly shouldn't mind your indulging yourself with a giggle or two; heck, throw in a guffaw if you like... I had a date who caught me faking an orgasm (& I NEVER get caught!) and she laughed so hard the tears were streaming down her cheeks (both sets, eventually all 4 sets.) I found out later she wasn't laughing... I've since gotten over my Attention Deficit Disorder, so I don't anticipate that situation to errr, ahhh, ...come up again...
3. Mad Cow's Disease-aphobia, huh?
It should comfort you to know that I don't eat any cows. What's more, I have an on-site Bovine psychiatrist who carefully mentally examines each and every cow (complete with Bovine Rorshasch Ink Blots Test) I invite home for a grass-cap, before I even allow so much as one cloven hoof past the threshold of my bedroom, so I think this issue may be a moo-o-o-o-t point.
Please advise as to any further requests should any be forthcoming... .
With Bovine Intervention,
29th_Jim
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Feb 18 '01
8:10 pm PST
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Re: Your twisted and oh so prolific mind neglected..... (Reply to this comment)
by RGBrown0108
And can you believe...it's not on Fox!
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Feb 15 '01
10:26 am PST
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Re: I Love You For Your Body... (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
Yours is the first marriage proposal I've gotten this week, not counting homeless crack addicts, and it made me shed 29 tears of joy. I would prefer that you bear and rear our children, but I will be there as backup and take them to the park with you.
And I almost never laugh during sex...but who knows, you might present startling new visuals.
Just one caveat, which is that I am insisting on extremely safe sex until the bovine spongiform encephalopopy scare is over. I am preparing myself for the marriage bed even as we speak.
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Feb 13 '01
7:12 am PST
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I Love You For Your Body... (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
...Of work, and need to marry you this upcoming weekend. Please arrange your schedule accordingly. Just think of it LG: You'd be the witty one; I'd be the one that laughs. You'd do all the shopping, be the diplomat, handle business affairs; I'd handle the laughter. You'd bear and rear our children; I'd laugh. We'd have sex; I'd pray you didn't laugh... Damn we'd make a great team...
Wonderful Essay!,
29th
P.S. Have I Mentioned I Can Laugh In 5 Different Languages?
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Feb 12 '01
10:07 am PST
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I have this weird thing going (Reply to this comment)
by sundogg99
I don't watch TV. Usually I don't miss it at all, but after reading review this scathingly funny I'm wondering how many television allusions I'm missing. Almost makes me want to tune in to see what all the buzz is about...
nah.
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Feb 11 '01
4:18 pm PST
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Re: Re: Your twisted and oh so prolific mind neglected..... (Reply to this comment)
by zzJulia
sheesh...you got that through the naughty word filter? First you, and then Hirohito99 with "bull-malarkey".
-Juls
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Feb 08 '01
1:45 pm PST
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L-girl... (Reply to this comment)
by murasaki
...You've made my day once again!
Now if only Heywood Jablomi would post some more "movie reviews," life would be too perfect!
Great review!
--murasaki
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Feb 07 '01
5:09 am PST
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well hell, (Reply to this comment)
by zenhues
I was going to try and be cool and mention your Alexander Solzenitsyn reference, but someone beat me to it. Awe.
I think to make the show more interesting, they should drop me off and see how long before I kill myself in that Frat fantasy island.
zh
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Feb 06 '01
7:35 pm PST
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anyone who makes a Solzhenitsyn reference... (Reply to this comment)
by CurtisEdmonds
is a friend.
Solzhenytsin himself actually proposed, in jest, something similar; he suggested that all the big-bellied Russian commissars who were dieting should go to the Gulag for a week for some guaranteed weight loss...
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Feb 06 '01
4:29 pm PST
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In response........ (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
Sweeper: "I'm still laughing about the surgery you suggested at the start of your post." I know that the surgery sounds funny, but it's actually very painful, and done completely without anesthetic! Not for nothing do they call me Idi Amin.
Annexation: That sounds way too realistic. Remember how horny Maria von Trapp was??
Sloucho: In my defense, the only TV I was allowed to watch as a child was PGA tournaments. When I finally realized there was fictional programming on the tube, I passed it up in lieu of Wall Street Week with Louis Rukeyser. Besides, I can make Ted Koppel flinch with my voodoo doll just fine.
Teresa, weren't you the first chick booted off Temptation Island? You look like her in that pic.
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Feb 06 '01
3:06 pm PST
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I went along with the crowd and gave this a VH (Reply to this comment)
by Sloucho
. . . but I think you should be ashamed of yourself for writing such a piece without having done the fundamental research of watching Gilligan's Island. You don't even realize that the best part about stitching Sharon Stone's scalp onto Ted Koppel's head is that with nerve endings now accessible, you can make Koppel flinch whenever you beat him over the head with your sailor's cap. If you've never watched Gilligan's Island, you don't know that hitting the other person over the head with your hat is what being on marooned on an island is all about.
Sheesh.
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Feb 06 '01
11:48 am PST
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Here we go: (Reply to this comment)
by annexation
Temptation Chess Club: 4 pocket protecting couples get stuck at an overnight church lock-in with tons of sexy single priests n' nuns. Oh.. and it's evangelical mating season and all that.
Eh? Eh? You like? Ah... nevermind.
Try as I might, there's no way I can emulate your ingenuity.
This review is better than Ezra, lobstergirl. VH
-Mark
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Feb 06 '01
11:45 am PST
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Won't you let me take you on a sea cruise? (Reply to this comment)
by sweeper
Lobster Girl,
There are not too many folks I'd choose to take on an ocean crossing. You'd be one I'd like to take along -- especially if there was the possibility of being ship wrecked and stuck on an abandoned island for a few months. Points if you do stand up.
I'm still laughing about the surgery you suggested at the start of your post.
Dave
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Feb 06 '01
11:26 am PST
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Re: Your twisted and oh so prolific mind neglected..... (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
I was so giddy and distracted that Epinions allowed me to use the word anal that my mind went completely blank.
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Feb 06 '01
11:09 am PST
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Your twisted and oh so prolific mind neglected..... (Reply to this comment)
by NFP
..."Temptation Gridiron", in which XFL football players are forced to date and have children with scantily-clad cheerleaders who preen for them and the TV cameras....
What? Oh. You mean that's ALREADY part of the XFL TV deal?
Never mind.
nick
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Feb 06 '01
11:00 am PST
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