Virgin Atlantic Airlines is psychedelic groovy. Yeah baby, yeah!
Written: Aug 28 '01 (Updated Mar 30 '06)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Great Décor. Fruity design everywhere. Virgin products everywhere for better or worse.
Cons: Surreality lends to uneasiness. Food sounds wonderful, but implementation typical. Stepford Stewardesses.
The Bottom Line: Virgin Atlantic tries to buy us off with Austin Power décor and fruity design. In my case, it succeeds.
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| benho's Full Review: Virgin Atlantic |
Those of you who have read my recent book review on Leviathan [1] will recall that I have recently been living in a heightened state of surreality, and am increasingly convinced that I am living in some sort of Matrix tm. The latest evidence was in Heathrow airport undeplaning (aka boarding) [2]the Virgin Atlantic Flight 001 back home to Newark. It probably did not help that I had just visited the hometowns of both Salvador Dali and Joan Miro. However, Monday, I truly had one of those Ted "Theodore" Logan (aka Keanu Reeves) "Whoa!" moments.
So I was in Heathrow after an exhausting (as my vacations are wont to be) nine days of visiting Roman ruins and surrealist museums, art galleries in medieval towns and beaches on the French Riviera, so it was in a certain haze I was sitting in while awaiting my plane. My first hint that things were not quite right came when I saw one of those women, those middle eastern matrons covered from head to toe in this monocolour tan outfit, with only her eyes visible. Rather ninja like if you ask me. Creepy. Then, on the line to board the plane right in front of me stood a severe looking elderly gentleman in a black monk's cloak [3], with long droopy hood and hooked nose. A magician or some such hellspawn, clearly. I, however, bit my tongue. I did not want the Agents to know that I was onto Them yet.
Anyway, as I finally made it onto the airplane, it was as if I stepped onto another world, a groovy Austin Powers world into Austin's psychedelic shag-jet. The colour of the fabric on the seats changed from row to row; they were all those faded 60;s colors, you know like original star trek uniform surplus, or perhaps from a Brady Bunch skin tight shirt catalog. Crushed velvet curtains between cabins added to the grooviness.
Someone had clearly given the passenger experience here a great deal of thought. Hip, current Latin music (likely under the Virgin Records label) played while the plane was boarding. Even the coach seats were all equipped with personal entertainment systems which showed a lively video montage of exciting travel destinations and trivia questions to keep you entertained while boarding. The personal tv screens were effective at helping us plebes in coach forget the bar, yes bar, that those in "upper" class have access to, complete with multi colored bar stools and a pretty bartender.
See, what really freaked me out was the stewardesses (a term I haven't heard in some time), truly stewardesses, no euphemistic "flight attendants" here. The six or so I counted (it was a rather large plane, so I'm not quite sure I found them all) all had straight shoulder length blonde hair tied back neatly, bright very-blue eye shadow and bright red lipstick, all with a chipper British accent. Freaky indeed.
Anyway, I have sidetracked. On each seat was a hip looking sea-blue plastic carry bag (one of those cool things women wear where the draw strings doubles as shoulder straps) filled with Virgin trinkets: note pad with large lightbulb on cover, pen with hip finger guard, cologne wipe, aromatic balm, socks, toothbrush with attached honest-to-god rubber ducky, hip ear plugs, and blindfold. All were coloured fruitily like the iMac and all demonstrated a designed flair like those Alessi can openers with the ghoulish faces or the toilet plungers that double as a houseplant. Each item was covered with the Virgin logo, as well as a pithy phrase like "beddy byes" on the blindfold or "pardon?" on the earplugs, each printed neatly in lowercase sans-serif low weight font. In a world where Target stores now feature design icons, and where I take notes for this review on a candylicious blue Handspring Visor, this should be expected, but it was a nice touch nonetheless.
Admittedly, most international flights nowadays include personal entertainment units, but the programming on this one was particularly good. With personal tv's, I had 8 movies to choose from, and a reasonably good selection at that, (I am sure mostly from Virgin's movie studios) and I in the end chose to watch two good films that I am eager to review (though one, epinions unfortunately doesn't have posted) [4]. The tv programs which I watched in between were also enjoyable, with channels like v.music, v.comedy, and v.travel which all had great programming including one great Brit reality show called "Faking It" where a stuffy concert cellist had to fake being a DJ. With this fall's television line up glutted with reality tv, I'm sure we'll get this import soon.
The personal entertainment unit also had Super Nintendo games, including Super Punch Out and Super Mario World, but my dreams of reliving a by-gone era were dashed by slow access to these games and often crashing (of the game software not the plane). All in all though, I was much pleased.
The fruity design theme was continued with the headphones and the food service trays, which were made big and pleasant to look at. Drink service tended to be highly particular but good, with not only Virgin Cola, but the likes of Virgin ginger ale as well. As for the food, we were offered an exciting menu, with choices like Mediterranean vegetable risotto, passion fruit and mandarin mousse cake, and a chicken and mango wrap. The menu offered luscious descriptions as well as nutritional information. The wines on offer, at least the white (a Chilean Chardonnay) was at least palatable for a change. The food in the end was more style than substance, but did offer at least a slight cut above typical airline fare.
The flight wasn't exactly the smoothest, and there were some delays, but that was a problem with the weather, and delays are suffered by all airlines nowadays.
As for booking, the flight was booked through Continental (Virgin's alliance partner [5]), so I cannot say, but I had no problems. Continental and Virgin make a good match, as both have a reputation for ranking high on customer satisfaction. Continental's newest fleet gives it an edge in providing passenger comforts (like personal movies), and Virgin's creativity keeps it ahead of the game.
While all the other airlines make drastic changes like removing seats to provide more leg room, Virgin Atlantic tries to buy us off with colourful trinkets, faux-fancy food, and groovy ambiance. Well frankly, it worked. The persistence of Virgin products everywhere was a bit heavy handed, but then again Virgin does make good products. I liked the thought provided in their design of the flight experience, and for that, I have to give Virgin my thumbs up.
Groovy baby, yeah!
And as for you Agents, just know that I am on to you... [6]
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NOTES
[1] The most shoplifted book at Barnes and Nobles (a review of Paul Auster's Leviathan)
http://www.epinions.com/content_34258587268
[2] I love prefixes. My favorite word in the English language (if I had one) would quite possibly be preantepenultimate. (3rd from the last)
[3] I have been fascinated by monasteries and made it a point to visit many while on my trip since reading Name of the Rose, an excellent book by Umberto Eco.
http://www.epinions.com/content_17510076036
[4] Very Annie Marie
http://www.epinions.com/content_38925340292
Late Night Shopping
A review to be published perhaps when epinions gets its act together and puts it up somewhere.
[5] I could go off on this point on another economic tirade about American protectionist policies that make it illegal for foreign airlines to compete in the United States which is why foreign airlines enter into alliances in the U.S. instead of offering flights here, but that would lead me to my personal peeve of the stupid governmental policy that makes Coca Cola taste better overseas than it does here, so I will spare you on that. (see my web page for more info)
[6] A note to mark the passing of the amazing Aaliyah, who's passing also mars the next two Matrix movies which she was signed to make. A great tragedy all around.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
benho
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Member: Ben Ho
Location: New York, NY, USA
Reviews written: 65
Trusted by: 52 members
About Me:
The end (of grad school) is near... off now to teach in cold Ithaca.
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