Alaska Airlines, or How I Was Mauled and Mugged on My Summer Vacation
Written: Aug 04 '06
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Product Rating:
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Pros: we didn't crash, direct flights from Boston to Seattle
Cons: incompetent and uncaring flight attendants, no special meals, tiny bathrooms on some flights, avoidable injuries
The Bottom Line: I'll stick to airlines that try to maintain some semblance of order inside their aircraft and that hire flight attendants who at least pretend to care about the passengers.
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| quasar's Full Review: Alaska Airlines |
My flight on Alaska Airlines from Boston to Seattle didn't crash. By any sane criteria that's a successful flight. However, just about every other thing that could go wrong with the flight did, making it one of the very worst flights I've ever experienced.
It actually started before the flight. I called the day before to get the current status of umbrellas as carryon items. Umbrellas were not allowed in carryon luggage for a while after September 11th, but they weren't explicitly listed in either the allowed or forbidden items on the Alaska Air website. Since I was headed to Seattle, supposedly the land of the constant rain, I wanted to bring an umbrella but if possible I didn't want to check my suitcase. I got very evasive answers both times I asked the Alaska Air phone representatives. They should be able to provide a definitive yes or no answer to questions like that; they can't be that uncommon. For the curious, umbrellas are allowed in carryon luggage as long as they fit inside your suitcase; they cannot be brought on as is as either a piece of luggage or your personal item.
Things didn't improve much when I arrived at the airport. When I checked in I discovered my seat reservation had fallen off my ticket and the only aisle seat left on the entire plane was in the last row. My original aisle seat was much closer to the front of the plane. I reluctantly took the seat, but I wasn't happy. It turns out this was a major mistake (more on that later).
After the agent finished processing me (and confirmed that I could take my umbrella on board the plane), I was told I had about 15 minutes before boarding began. I arrived at my gate less than 10 minutes later and they were well into the boarding process. It was a zoo. Little did I know, this would be one of the calmer portions of my flight.
I finally got on the plane and found my seat. Folks were struggling mightily with baggage storage because approximately one of every five overhead bins had been reserved for airline use. That's absolutely ridiculous. Most flights reserve at most a handful of bins throughout the entire cabin. I did manage to find a spot for my suitcase near my seat, but it was tough. Many people near me weren't as fortunate.
Things didn't improve once I was in my seat. For some reason the aisle seats were two to three inches narrower than the middle and window seats in each row. While I still technically fit in the seat, it wasn't very comfortable. I've never seen any real differential between the size of seats in a row before; there was no indication of this at any point during my reservation of the seat or while the clerk at the airline desk was rebooking my seat. Worse, my hair kept getting caught on some bolts that weren't covered over on the top of the seat.
The bathroom wasn't any better; it was so small that I had to stand sideways inside the chamber and be a contortionist to sit down. The metal cover over the toilet paper dug into my side when I was seated and you can't reach the paper towels without hitting the soap dispenser. To add to the fun, the restroom hadn't been cleaned before the flight (I was the first passenger in the restroom behind my seat once we were allowed up) and they were never checked at all during the flight. They were truly disgusting and may have been a contributing factor to the odd, not-quite-identifiable odors in the cabin throughout the flight.
The real problems began once the flight was airborne and the fasten seatbelt sign was turned off. The flight attendants insisted all passengers in the main cabin use the two rear restrooms, one of which was directly behind my seat and the other of which was across the aisle from the first. The rear galley space was behind the restrooms. I have seen this configuration before, but most of the time the galley is behind the rear row and the restrooms behind the galley. In both cases, on other flights passengers were directed to stand in the galley while waiting for the restrooms to keep the aisles clear. Anyone who blocked the aisles anywhere on the plane for more than a few seconds was told by the flight attendants to please sit down or move to a more appropriate space. If the lines for the restroom outpaced the available space, passengers were asked to please wait in their seats until it shortened (on this flight it never shortened because of the restriction on the front restroom). Not here. They lined up in the narrow aisle, almost always extending several rows forward from the rear, completely blocking the aisles and leaving no room for people exiting to get back to their seats or for the service carts and attendants to traverse the aisle. Whenever anyone left the restrooms, the folks waiting to get in had to either lean all the way over into occupied seats (my seat) or try to stand in my seat while I was still sitting there or both. People constantly lost their balance, nearly falling on me repeatedly. One woman swatted me hard on the head. My shoulder was constantly banged by people and their bags. My left foot was stepped on more times than I can count. Late in the flight my knee was kicked so hard it swelled up and bruised then it was kicked again in the same spot. No one was paying attention in the slightest to what they were doing or the effects of their actions. I was pushed, smacked, kicked, banged, and otherwise physically assaulted almost continuously for five hours.
The flight attendants weren't any better than the passengers at large. They too practically sat on my lap in an attempt to get by the lines for the restroom, but it was almost worse when they were using their carts. The aisle narrows a bit when the seats start and, despite presumably being used to the plane layout, the attendants constantly caught their carts on the back of my seat as they moved forward. This was really jarring and added to the general physical impacts I was expected to just accept and take as part of my flight experience.
In fact, when I finally got sick of being mugged every three minutes and complained to the pair of flight attendants in the galley behind me, they were defensive and downright rude. I was told it was my own fault for sitting in that seat. Further, the flight attendants explicitly stated that they had no control over passengers and that passengers could do whatever they wanted to do anywhere on the plane as long as the fasten seatbelt sign was off. They not only had no problems with the way folks were lining up for the restrooms and the aforementioned consequences of those lines, they also seemed unconcerned by the hordes of kids screaming and racing around the plane unaccompanied by parents which also would have been verbotten on other flights.
That response absolutely shocked me, but it shouldn't have been quite as surprising as it was since the flight attendants had been surly and distant throughout the entire flight. No one greeted boarding passengers, no one walked around offering to help passengers stow their luggage (and remember, there was much less stowage space than normal), the safety demonstration was done hastily and only once at the very front of the airplane, trash wasn't collected at all until just before the landing, and they seemed resentful of every tiny service performed throughout the entire flight.
This attitude was also apparent during our meal service. Since our flight was cross country, we actually were slated for breakfast service (my flight left at about 8am Eastern). I believe flights under four hours or that don't cross from one coast to the other don't get meal service, but I'm not 100% sure of the exact rules. In any case, I was offered and selected a kosher meal during booking. I don't keep kosher, but there are foods I won't eat that are common fodder for airline meals and I know I'll eat just about any kosher offering, so I always select kosher meals when possible. When the meal service came, I was given an egg, ham, and cheese sandwich. It took me a while to get the flight attendants attention to mention the mistake and when I did she was very unsympathetic. Apparently Alaska Airlines stopped offering special meals (kosher, vegetarian, etc.) some time ago and now everyone gets the same thing no matter what. I was not happy.
About twenty minutes after I finally complained to the attendants in the back of the plane about the restroom line, the head flight attendant stopped by. She said she understood that I was injured and tried to get me to see the paramedics when we landed. I know she was covering her butt, but I didn't have the patience for it at that point, particularly when she was uninterested in discussing why I had been hurt. I knew I was just bruised and banged up as opposed to having an actual injury that needed treatment beyond ice or heat and rest. It's still a horrid way to start a vacation; I wound up fighting through the pain for much of my vacation, doing less than I would have otherwise but getting the most I possibly could out of the trip. However, paramedics would be a waste of time. She gave up after several tries and offered to have an electric cart or a wheelchair meet me. I accepted the electric cart and asked for some ice. It eventually showed up, but it took quite a while.
When we finally landed and deplaned (about 20 minutes early), there was a wheelchair waiting for me instead of a cart. I couldn't take my luggage with the wheelchair and the smaller carryon bag (my personal item) would have to sit right on my sore knee which wasn't workable. I tried to get up out of the wheelchair, but the attendant wouldn't let me and tried to take off without my suitcase, just leaving it sitting at the gate. When I finally got free of the chair, I asked the counter agent for a cart and was told they don't service that terminal. I wound up walking which really bothered me given that the airline itself had suggested the electric cart.
My return flight was more pleasant. Boarding was smooth and, since it was a red eye, we were given snacks instead of a meal so the lack of kosher meals wasn't a problem. In fact, the snacks were a cut above the norm; we were given a cookie and then later a scone and both were warm. The flight attendants were friendly and much more helpful than on the first flight (the one time I used the call button it was answered within a minute). The bathrooms were a more standard small but useable size. The overhead compartments were mostly given over to passenger luggage with only a handful of bins reserved for airline use and passengers near the front of coach were allowed to use the forward restrooms. The only oddity was that they stopped cabin service a full hour before landing, but given the plethora of problems on my first flight that's laughably minor in comparison. I would fly Alaska Airlines again based only on my return trip.
Unfortunately, I did take that outbound flight and it was so miserable that it completely trumps the return flight. It wasn't just a bad experience for the five hours I was in the air (or the seven or so hours from airport arrival to airport departure), it negatively impacted the rest of my vacation. While I was correct in my assessment and I was merely bruised and sore and not truly injured, I took a real physical beating that hurt and slowed me down considerably. In particular, a swollen and painful knee is not a good companion while walking from place to place or trying to visit museums. The entire flight was one damn thing after another, none of them pleasant. I understand that things happen and things go wrong, but the extent of the problems on this flight was ridiculous, especially given the role the flight attendants played in the proceedings. If you want to risk life and limb, or at least the ability to get the most out of your vacation, go ahead and take a chance on Alaska Airlines. Me, I'll stick to airlines that at least try to maintain some semblance of order inside their aircraft and that hire flight attendants who at least pretend to care about the passengers.
Recommended:
No
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