Bozo is flying the Plane!!
Written: Jan 03 '01
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| samadust's Full Review: Delta Air Lines |
I opened my tired eyes to a darkened Airplane cabin. The entire plane, all 50 rows, was dead quiet. The lights were dimmed nearly to the point of obscurity, every head was on a head rest, every face was facing forward, every passenger was still. I turned by head to look out the window. Being able to feel in my stomach the fact that the plane was descending, I peered through the portal expecting to see the bright lights of Jackson, Mississippi inching increasingly closer and the perfectly straight green runway lights gliding deep into the darkness below. What I didn't expect to see, but unfortunately saw, was a milky, impenetrable wall of fog that cloaked the entire plane.
We were in Jackson, the only problem was we couldn't see it. The visibility was just about 0% and the pilot was trying to land the plane. That's when I realized why every one was so silent and morbidly concentrating on the patterns of the cloth on the seat in front of them. I joined them all, staring at the back of the seat in front of me, clutching both arm rests like the last two bottle of ice water in Hell.
I could feel the plane descending, descending, descending....then the pilot would lose his confidence and the engines would reverse screaming in protest while climbing back up deeper into the fog. I knew there were holding patterns in the sky, areas where other planes also attempting to land in Jackson, would be circling and waiting for their turn. Because of this I kept expecting to feel the crunch of another planes hull against the side of ours and then possibly catch a glimpse of the twisted steel and corpses before I made my final descent into the darkness.
"O.K, just be cool", I thought. "Whatever happens, happens. That's right! We'll be O.K, these guys know what their doing. They studied for years and years to get to this point, they're professionals. We entrust them with our LIVES because they are capable of handling any situation, they are aeronautic Gods who never make mistakes. They know what their doing, stop being a pansy and relax........"
No sooner had my thoughts crystalized across the bulletin board in my head did the Captains voice crackle over the cabin loud speaker shattering my "well constructed counterpoint of cool" by saying "Ahh...folks...we're ahh....circling the Jackson, Mississippi Airport and ahhh....we were gonna land but ahhh...we can't find the ground".
"WHAT!!!"
"You mean to tell me I paid all of this money, climb aboard this death trap and left the Earth with you and you can't find the ground!!! It's your job to know where the ground is because you have to take me from the ground into the air and then back to it!!!! Don't tell me you CAN'T FIND IT! Even if you have no idea where it is keep that to yourself!! I don't need to know that!!!"
That was a huge mistake on his part because I am sure that not only did it make me nervous but it drastically heightened the fright factor of the cabin made obvious by the vigorous applause that erupted when the wheels touched down on the runway. I know this is a little less a review of the airline and more of a comment on the ridiculous, unfunny antics of one pilot but this made a huge impression on me. If you want the real lowdown on Delta, check out the review I wrote back in May 2000 or stay tuned because there are enough things to say about this quickly degrading Airline that I'll probably post up a brand new one pretty soon.
Recommended:
No
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samadust
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Member: Douglas Flowe
Location: USA
Reviews written: 182
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