It's not every day that you get to fly on a large airplane that thinks it's a horse
Written: Jan 11 '00 (Updated Jan 12 '00)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: I got to watch an attractive young flight attendant snort and whinny like a mad beast.
Cons: Still don't matter: if you book your ticket without 7 days notice, you're going to pay out the ass; and that just ain't funny.
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| lanebecker's Full Review: Southwest Airlines |
Let's be honest: there ain't really any real difference between any of the airlines out there. Think about it: the planes have basically all been made by the same manufacturers, to the same specifications; there's never enough legroom unless you're willing to pony up the extra $$$; and the food always just sucks, only some of it sucks a little less, sometimes.
I mean, honestly: the major airlines (and the minor ones, too) all developed a solid, standard, sub par system of doing business eons ago, and they all stick to it without fail. The biggest complaint one can usually make about any airline has more to do with the level of service provided in and around the various extraneous services provided, from beverage delivery to baggage delivery, and that's about it.
So TWA lost my bags once, and it took them 3 days to locate them ("They're somewhere in the Caribbean!?! You must be joking!") So the flight attendant on that last United flight was kind of rude when I tried to pass her in the (always overly narrow) aisle on my way to the bathroom. Are these the things on which major life purchasing decisions should be based? No, I think not.
But if not, then what?
Well, the standard answer is of course price. It's all about price, with the airlines, usually. That's all there really is to differentiate on, in most cases. All airlines are the same, except sometimes one of them, for a few brief moments, is a little cheaper. So the only other reason that you'll pick one airline over the other is a) frequent flier miles, or b) you're so goddam rich that you can afford not to care about price, which must be nice (I wouldn't know.)
Well, actually, that's not entirely true. Because there's one other question you should ask yourself when choosing an airline: when I'm on the plane, will they make me laugh?
That's right. I recommend, if price is no object, that you pick the airline with the sense of humor. And that airline, folks, is Southwest.
The very first Southwest flight I was ever on made a lasting impression on me: as the plane was taking off, the (really cute) flight attendant, with a devilish glint in her eye, picked up the little walkie-talkie thingy and started snorting like a horse over the intercom, for all the plane to hear, achieving full whinny as the plane launched itself off into the air. Delightfully fun.
Another choice tidbit: "In case of emergency, masks will drop down from the overhead compartments. Adults, please make certain that all children, and people acting like children, have been securely fastened into the mask before you put your own on."
There were other funny things said over the years that I've been flying Southwest, but I have of course forgotten them. You'll just have to trust me.
Oh, wait! Sometimes the male flight attendants sing show tunes! Also, once, as I was waiting for a Southwest plane to arrive in the Austin airport, I got to watch a very entertaining show, as each passenger disembarked from the plane and proceeded to hand a rose to a startled looking woman who was apparently waiting for someone to disembark. Fifty or so roses later, he did indeed appear, in a tux, to propose. Cleverly orchestrated! Now, what other airline would do that sort of thing for its passengers? American? United? I think not!
In summation: there's no reason to pick any airline over any other. But if you insist on doing it anyway, pick Southwest. Just for laughs.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
lanebecker
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Member: Lane Becker
Location: Austin, TX
Reviews written: 9
Trusted by: 61 members
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