My husband just loves those cheesy exploitation films from the 70’s and many of those films were shot in the Philippines. When he realized that A) the Philippines are really close to Korea and B) travel in the Philippines is really cheap, there was no stopping him. Not that I minded. I have a goal of filling my passport before it expires and the Philippines has beaches.

The Philippines also has alarming amounts of dirt and poverty as well as an amazing number of Aussies on sex tours. Not to put too blunt a point on it, but unfortunately one of the major attractions of the Philippines is a large number of girls hoping some foreigner will marry them. And if they won’t marry then a one night stand costs about $20. And if you only want to chat, you can buy them a "Lady Drink" which is a drink that costs a little extra because the girl is getting a percentage. Now here’s the twist. The Philippines was a Spanish colony for a few hundred years and is therefore a Catholic country. If a man with a wedding ring approaches a girl so won’t touch him. If a man with a wedding ring DENT approaches a girl she won’t touch him. When my husband visited the bars out of curiosity, the girls all asked him about me (but they did let him buy them drinks. Knowing what these girls have to do for a living, I was totally ok with that.) And the men will help single men find the right bars (or possibly just the preferred bars because they all seem to have in house girls) but will discourage married men from even getting to the correct area. My husband mentioned Angeles to one driver who frowned in the rearview mirror and sternly informed him that it was a red light district.

If the sex industry doesn’t bother you, the poverty might. As we were flying into Manila we could see shanty cities from the plane. Driving through Manila we saw more than one colony of totally homeless people living on embankments, in parks and in the middle of cloverleaves. They were well indicated by the strings of laundry hung to dry between trees after being washed in dirty water. In Subic we were strolling down the street after dinner one evening and as we walked past an abandoned hotel that appeared to have been ferociously clobbered by a past typhoon I noticed someone washing out some laundry on the second floor. Then I noticed the makeshift ladder leaning against a broken wall. Then I noticed curtains in some of the intact windows and lines of laundry. This wasn’t a shanty town, it was a squatter apartment building. From what we could glean, the average wage in the Philippines is $3 a day. Contrast that with the price of a filet mignon in the Philippines: $6 and the price of a large American style breakfast: $3 and you see the problem. Malnutrition doesn’t appear to be a big problem. All the people I saw looked pretty well fed. Poor housing and sanitation is the problem because disease goes hand in hand with those.

Which leads me to dirt. I have only heard of dirtier places. In addition to the fine cloud of actual dirt that hangs in the air, there’s a layer of straight out garbage on the ground. We spoke to a Australian ExPat living in Subic who said he volunteered for a beach clean up one day. About 30 guys showed up and spent 8 hours picking up trash. What to guess how many bags they filled? He said they packed the bags as tightly as they could without splitting. 700 bags of trash. Once upon a time Filipinos would have woven palm leaf carriers and tossed them on the ground to rot when they were finished. Now they get a plastic bag and throw that on the ground when they’re done. This is a problem that they really need to fix.

The only other problem I had with the Philippines was safety. I didn’t feel that I was going to be robbed at gunpoint, but I wouldn’t venture down any alleys either. I also wouldn’t leave anything lying around. In Korea, you could leave a laptop sitting on a restaurant table for hours and no one would touch it (though the employees would worry that you had forgotten it.) In the Philippines, I wouldn’t turn my back on anything valuable unless I had my hand on it. I also felt that I would be conned at any moment. We were, in fact, conned right off the plane into paying $30 too much for a cab ride. It was a 2-hour ride and part of the learning curve. Negotiate all fares up front.

Now this one last thing I like to call the Pervert Tax. We were warned by a friend that if someone tried to sell us his underage daughter for sex not to take the deal. After you pay up, they immediately threaten to go to the authorities unless you pay them $1000. That kind of money in a country where the average wage is $3 a day? Personally, I think any perv who wants to have sex with an underage girl deserves to get taken for $1000. I don’t consider it a con so much as entrepreneurial spirit.

On the positive side, the Philippines is a beautiful, friendly, inexpensive, English speaking destination. English used to be required in all Filipino schools so many of the natives speak perfect English. (It may not sound like much, but spend six months in Korea and it becomes invaluable.) Those who don’t speak perfect English usually know enough to make themselves understood. And Tagalog /t-GA-log/ is a pigeon language so it’s pretty easy to pick up, though it might make you feel dyslexic at first. The people will gladly teach you a few words here and there.

Did I mention inexpensive? How about cheap? I used the word ‘cheap’, didn’t I? In addition to the prices listed above, let me lay a couple more on you. Water was about $0.50 a bottle. At Ocean Adventure we did the dolphin meet for $40 a person. Our nice hotel room in Subic ran us between $20-$25. I could live in a hotel room with a private deck and an ocean view for a month for a little more than my mortgage.

And beautiful. Where there aren’t piles of garbage, you will find some amazing scenery. Lush jungles that dip right down into the sea. People selling brilliantly colored caged birds at the side of the road. Fluttering streamers string across the roads. Steep mountains disappearing into the mist. Monkeys that come out of the jungle to mooch at the side of the road (shouldn’t feed them though. It encourages the behavior and might get them killed or captured.) All the fish you’ve seen for years in aquariums darting through coral right under you as you snorkel around on the surface. Did you know that of the 900 kinds of coral in existence 880 of them are in the Philippines? I would have had my breath taken away by the sight of a brilliant blue jellyfish drifting past my face if my breath wasn’t already taken away by the fact that I was breathing though a tube. (It made me a little nervous, what can I say?) We didn’t really get up into the mountains at all. We’re saving that for next time.

The Philippines is a marvelous place the visit that really needs your tourism dollars. Flying from the States it’s going to be expensive to get there, but once you’re there it’s really cheap and very fulfilling. There are so many things to see and do here two weeks won’t be enough. And as a bonus, they’re on the American electrical system so you don’t even need to worry about adaptors.

Helpful websites:
Swagman Travel www.swaggy.com
Blue Rock Resort www.bluerock.com
Philippines www.wowphilippines.com.ph


Recommended: Yes

Best Suited For: Couples
Best Time to Travel Here: Mar - May