Death and boredom BVI style
Written: Aug 12 '03
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Quiet, relaxing, beautiful beaches,great sailing.
Cons: If you don't like boats and beaches then you'll be bored.
The Bottom Line: Quiet and peaceful, a haven for boats. If you need to relax, this is the place.
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| travelgall's Full Review: British Virgin Islands |
I had the privilege of living in the BVI for a while when I was a kid. I wouldn't usually write about a place I visited 12 years ago, but the BVI is as likely to change as I am going to go to France again (and I can assure you there isn't a snowball in hell's chance). You may get a new terminal building - we cleared customs through a tin shack - but the place just stands still, except in Hurricane season where you see a little movement. Quite frankly if I lived permanently in the BVI I wouldn't be too worried about straining myself either.
The only problem is that when you're a teenager, the place can be a bit dull. The Ex-Pat life consists of counting Paoblo's money at work followed by the 9 hole pitch and put golf course, squash or bridge with a Pussers Painkiller drink. Naturally I didn't have to spend my day working on tax evasion for my clients, so the days stretched onwards as the beaches and boats merged into one. The BVI is probably somewhere you go on doctors orders, you're a stressed executive, take two valium and a trip to Tortola.
This would be a mistake though, as death lurks round every corner. Naturally I'm not talking about crime, civil unrest or war as the BVI just isn't aware of the concept, the last time there was any major violence problems in the Virgin Islands, it was caused by a bloke called Blackbeard or Long John Silver or something. The problems started back in Antigua, we were warming up the rubber band that powered the propeller in our 10 seater aircraft, when a light dropped off one of the wings. Up rocks a ground control bod with a large conical shaped cigarette in hand. He throws his lit hash splif in the general direction of the AvGas barrels, picks up the light and gives it a good hard pounding so the light stays in the wing and we're off.
To be fair on the ground control crewman, he probably had other things to worry about, and after looking at the size of that splif it was probably an attack by the Cylons from Battlestar Galactica he was worried about. Anyhow after finding God all of a sudden, we're off. As you can probably guess, such an airworthy craft crashed with me in it on the way back. Furthermore in the BVI I nearly drowned twice and has a parachute collapse on me when I went paragliding. One of the drownings was in one of the most beautiful parts of the BVI called "the Baths" on Virgin Gorda; a place so beautiful you probably have to wait about 2 hours before a camera crew and models rock up for a photo shoot - I must have picked a bad day. So not only did I nearly drown in a vicious whirlpool that is created by the baths at a certain part; I also didn't see ONE Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. If they had charged me then I would have demanded my money back.
http://www.cdislands.com/html/photos/photos_bvi5.htm
Other places of interest include Nanny Quay and Frenchman's quay on Tortola. Frenchman's quay hotel has a swimming pool which is much use as an ice machine in an Igloo, when you consider you're surrounded by some of the most pristine sea in the world. The Jolly Roger and the Frenchman's Quay hotel are a nice place to get some food; and like the rest of the BVI are exorbitantly expensive. Nothing in the BVI is cheap, which is why everybody lives on very expensive yachts and brings their own food. The food tends to be either local fayre which is mostly fish or goat, or the usual international fayre, and isn't at all bad. There was quite a commotion in Frenchman's quay when I visited as a Dolphin had done a runner from an aquarium in Florida and swam down to the BVI. Since Flipper had enough R&R and obviously couldn't be bothered swimming home; he decided to do some tricks until the aquarium came to pick him up, and the whole island had come to see him (Told you the place was dull). Still swimming with a dolphin was good fun.
Sailing is the main passion in the BVI, and for good reason. There are so many beautiful little beaches on the 60 islands that make up the BVI its a crime not to see some of them. The highlight of the Year is the BVI Spring Regatta, where hundreds of boaties in some truly hideous luminous gear descend on Tortola for the multi-day festivities. This is the time of year when the locals really party and its a great time to visit unless you get seasick looking at the rowing boats in Hyde Park. I spent several fun days acting as ships ballast as we raced other boats that cost a fortune. The trip usually consists of a sprint to Anaegada and back (Anaegada being a flat coral island is the only ugly island out of 60) or sailing round Peter Island till you get dizzy.
You can also enjoy the sailing by hiring one of the charters that will take you around the place. I sailed on a lovely boat called Promenade for a couple of days, and they are still in business. I cannot recommend them more, especially the food. They also have some scuba gear so you can dive H.M.S. Rhone where they filmed "The Deep". There was an absolute local lunatic nicknamed Hardstone who claimed you were gay unless you could touch the propeller of the Rhone without scuba, but the man was one can short of a six pack anyhow so pay no attention if the locals say it must be done. Oh and one more thing on the Rhone, if anybody has got Jaqueline Bissets E-mail address please pass it on as I would like to thank her for wearing that swimsuit in "The Deep" that helped me through that difficult adolescent period.
http://www.yachtpromenade.com/
Is there any time of year to avoid the BVI? Well Hurricane season can be a pain as some of the pubs are shut. The great thing about the BVI is that its so small. Thus if you run out of beer you can get into Road Town (the capital) and back home in the calm eye of the hurricane before the second half starts. The other time to avoid the BVI is Wednesdays. Wednesday is Cruise Ship day when the taxi prices go up three times, and you won't get near the Pussers Company store for people trying to get a picture of the Robot Dog that plays the piano, and stock up on Royal Navy Rum and ships decanters (Pussers is the original Navy Rum). The Pussers company store is a must do in the BVI! You'll be able to spot cruise ship people as they wear clothes that look worse than the Boatie clothes. Cruise ship issue clothing is Vermilion sun visors, Sandals and socks, with Hawaiian shirts that look like they bought from a paint factory. All the cruise people are taking a photo of the same thing - a Rasta on a donkey whom I am convinced is paid by the BVI tourist board to wonder down the main street on Cruise ship day.
Recommended:
Yes
Best Suited For: Couples
Best Time to Travel Here: Jun - Aug
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Epinions.com ID:
travelgall
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 - Top 1000 |
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Location: London, Great Britain
Reviews written: 104
Trusted by: 95 members
About Me:
Ex Army Stockbroker who spend all his cash on traveling.
Corruptissima Republica, Plurimae Leges.
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