It was a literal cliché, and of course I loved it. What else would you call a bar in the Caribbean that caters to tourists but Club Calypso. The only thing missing was throng of polyester clad tourists and Harry Belafonte belting out "Yellow Bird" or "The Banana Boat Song". Mind it was mid week and off season.

First night back in Belize City and after cleaning up and grabbing a bite to eat I decided a little night life was in order. I decided to give the rowdy road houses out by the airport a miss. When I first arrived in the country I'd been warned about these combination disco/bordellos. Besides sitting around with a bunch of drunken British soldiers from the nearby jungle warfare training centre wasn't my idea of fun. Ok I lied it is, but not this time.

I grabbed a cab and had him run me up to Newtown Barracks Road in the north end of the city. My "trusty" guide book had said there were a couple of small clubs and bars here worth a look. The one they recommended was called Lindburgh's Landing, so called because it was the spot where "Lucky Lindy" touched down on his visit to the region.

Well of course it didn't exist anymore. It had been shut down. That guide book was batting a thousand so far. There were however several other small bars in the area. One look, ok look and a quick beer, told me they were for the most part high priced dives. Places with loud bad music, overpriced drinks and only purpose. To help part tourists from their dollars, either Belize or US.

Now don't get me wrong. I have no problem drinking in dives. However if that was the plan for the evening I might has well have stayed south of Haul Over Creek and drank in the low end dives. Sure I would have stuck out there among the locals, but the beer would have cheaper. The company would have been more pleasant too.

I began strolling back down the road until I came to a large white building that stuck out on the otherwise barren seashore. It was a private condo, and the doorman soon chased me off. He did however point out a second large white building next door. This was the Princess Hotel and Casino. Here I and my wallet would be most welcome he assured me.

The Princess is one of the more upscale places to rest your weary bod in Belize City. Unlike the other "nice" hotels it's not outside of town, but just at the north end and with walking distance, barely, to the city centre. It's a typical high end four star establishment, that looks at first glance even nicer than it is. That's because the nearest other places to stay are either quaint or run down guest houses and/or bed and breakfasts.

There's a casino like the name says, more of that later, and of all things a movie theatre. It must be the only one in town, or at least the only one showing first run movies. I almost got run over in the lobby by the crowd when the movie let out.

At the far end of the lobby is the ever present lobby bar. Not much here really aside from a very helpful bartender. Sensing that his establishment was not what I craved, he directed me out back.

The Princess is as I said right on the waterfront. There is no beach however. Actually I don't think there's a beach in Belize City. There is a small garden and just beyond that a rather nice marina. At the south end of the marina, looking completely out of place among the fibreglass and plastic yachts was a large ramshackle wooden building set on a pier out over the water. A tacky neon sign advertised that I had found what I wanted. It was flashing Club Calypso.

First impressions were good. Any bar with a motorcycle parked inside the front door gets full marks from me. I never did discover if it was part of the decor, or just belong to an over exuberant guest.

Unfortunately it was rather dead. Mind like I said it was Wednesday night. It was also just about to close, at 11:00 of all things. I guess I spent longer in that shower than I though back at the hotel I didn't realise how late it was. A lot of places roll up the side walks early in Belize City mid week it seems, the aforementioned clubs outside of town excepted. No matter I had time for a quick beer and there was always tomorrow night.

Thursday evening I was enjoying a relaxing beer back in my hotel, the Hotel Mopan and planning my night out. I'd had a good day out on Caye Caulker doing absolutely nothing. A little shopping and other errands around town after and all of a sudden the sun had gone down again. I was debating where to go and eat, when I was joined at the bar by two new arrivals.

They were a couple of brothers from Austin Texas who'd flown in that day for a couple of weeks vacation. They were heading out to the cayes the next day for a little scuba diving. They were also not in the best of moods. It seems their airline had lost all their luggage. What they were wearing was all they had. They had even had to buy a couple of toothbrushes.

A couple of cold Belikins and their mood soon improved. As I was the "old hand" they bowed to my judgement on where we should all go and grab some dinner and then maybe get into a little trouble. I suggested that the place I'd hit the last night might be a good start. Especially if we managed to get there sooner than five minutes before last call as had been the case the night before.

One quick cab ride later and we were crossing the rickety piers and through the front door of Calypso's .There were a few more people than before so we decided to stick it out. Besides everyone was hungry.

The food s not bad here, at least what I had. The shrimp cocktail was ok, not as good as the one I'd eaten for lunch at Hurricanes over on Caye Caulker, but more than acceptable. To get my system ready for it's return to North America, I passed on the seafood and chicken dishes and settled for a hamburger. Again not too bad. About the same quality as one would expect in a bar back home. Price was about the same too.

Just as we were finishing dinner, the evening's entertainment got underway. Warning Thursday night's at Club Calypso are Karaoke Nights! It was obvious my new friends from Austin felt the same as I do about that evil export from Japan. We all three beat a hasty retreat back into the hotel proper.

As I said there's a casino. It's the newest and biggest attraction in town, if one is to believe the hype. Security is tight. Getting in involved showing more ID and searches than had we tried to gain access to CIA Headquarters in Virginia.

Inside it's typical of other places in the region. Row on row of video slots and plenty of gaming tables. Like in many other establishments there's free drinks for those playing. Don't expect the waitress to be too attentive if you're playing the nickel slots (and Belize nickels at that) at the back of the room.

There's a Las Vegas style show every night at 10:00 pm with plenty of chorus girls. It actually looks like an out take from the movie Showgirls. The girls by the way are from Russia. Well one look told us they weren't locals. We caught part of the show just before we left.

After killing an hour or so in there, and losing a whopping fifty cents (Belize), it was time to move on. Out front we grabbed a helpful cabby who promised to take us to where some good bars were. He drove us across the street to the dives I'd been in the night before. For this two minute drive we were of course charged the same as the ten minute run from our hotel to the Princess .

Seeing is believing, so I had to endure another Belikin or two while the boys from Austin checked out for themselves just how bad these places were. Eventually they came to the same conclusion I had 24 hours earlier and we were once more on Newtown Barracks Road.

It was still fairly early, but everyone agreed to call it a night. They had an early morning of yelling at helpless airline employees ahead of them and I had flight to catch. We quickly grabbed a cab back to the Mopan and got there just in time for last call.

I found out later that weekends at Calypso's are pretty good. They have live music, mainly reggae and punta and the place is packed. Had I known that then I think I might have "accidentally" missed my flight.

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