"Everything You Might Have Wanted To Know About Canada " *
Written: Oct 17 '00 (Updated Oct 18 '00)
|
Product Rating:
|
|
|
Pros: Really funny people live here...
Cons: ...but they're so darned polite!
|
|
|
| hadassahchana's Full Review: Canada |
Review Topic: Overview
"but for some reason, couldn't be bothered to find out"
Tonight is the last of the three Presidential Debates. I have been informed that at least a few of you are considering changing your country of residence rather than spend four years with either of the two candidates, so I have compiled a handy , small (yet excruciatingly informative) guide to life in the Great Frozen North. I have lived in Canada for 18 years now. I'm an ex-pat American living close enough to the U.S./Canada border to see Detroit if I ever get homesick- and trust me, being able to see Detroit is a sure-fire cure for that feeling! I'm originally from Oregon, a state actually worth feeling nostalgic for, but fortunately I can't see Oregon from here. Therefore, all in all Canada seems like a pretty good place to live, or even to visit.
I moved to Canada just after I was married, as my new husband had just been hired by the University of Alberta, in Edmonton. I didn't think much about why I was moving to Canada, or even if I wanted to. I was pretty pleased with my husband, and it seemed a good idea to live in the same country as he did. However,I know that many people like to do a bit more
market research than that before making such a major life change, one that will affect their families for generations to come (my children say "eh?" for heaven's sakes!). So, for you information junkies out there who won't move to a foreign country without understanding the way the government, currency and liquor laws work, here it is: The Poor Man's Guide To All Things Canadian.
(Ok, not all things. However, the Really Important Things are all here. I will address important questions concerning money, language, and poutine).
Canadian National Symbols
These are the things that make a Canadian's heart beat just a little faster, make him stand a bit taller,bring a smile to the face, a tear to the eye.
Everyone knows that we love our hockey up here, it's mandatory. I am the most sports-illiterate person I know, and even I knew that Edmonton was famous for a hockey player by the name of Wayne Gretzky. We love our beer, and some of it is even drinkable(this coming from a confirmed Guinness girl). Upper Canada Dark Ale is popular at our house. And the other thing is our flag. Or is it?
A few years ago, the travel editor for the Washington Post took a trip through Canada, and declared that in his opinion, Canada should remove that silly maple leaf from the flag, and replace it with a giant red donut.Seems obvious to me, what with every block containing a Tim Horton's restaurant/police station.
You should know that our police substations are much more comfortable than the ones in the U.S. Ours have a cheery 'Tim Horton's' sign out front, and sell wonderful coffee, and greasy-looking donuts. (I've never eaten one, they're not kosher. I don't think I'm missing anything). You can tell that they are police sub-stations because all Tim Horton's shops have several police cruisers parked in front. Interesting story: last year, one of the big news items here in Windsor involved a man who got into a knife fight with another man - inside a Tim Horton's! As we all suspected, he was declared mentally unfit to stand trial. Anyone who would walk into a room full of police officers busily drinking coffee and start a fight with someone else , we knew just had to be crazy as a woodtick.
Two Official Languages/Les Deux Langues Officielles
Having two official languages is kind of like having two left legs: walking is hard, and dancing is nearly impossible. Same for translating everything into French(or English, depending on where you live). I am going to assume that many of you who are still reading this are not fluent in French (and I won't discuss any other assumptions that can be made about you, including those about your level of taste and intellect. However, I thank you for reading, and I love you all. Really). Here is a brief lexicon of things that everyone needs to be able to say in French in order to get along in Canada:
In English:___________________en Francais:
beer..........................la bière
chocolate.....................le chocolat
coffee........................le Tim Horton's
Put these into this simple phrase : Pardon,s'il vous plait, je desire____.
There you go. Now you're a francophone, faster than you can say "Viola!" Yes, I know that the word is 'voila'. However, recently I overheard two women in a grocery store discussing a new product in the frozen food section, called 'Chicken Voila!', only both of them were saying(in ringing, stentorian tones) "Chicken Viola! What a pretty name. I wonder if it's good? I wonder why they called it Viola?" I thought to myself, "Probably because the turkey was already called 'Ashley', and the pork,'Mary Elizabeth".Anyway, this little slice-of-life anecdote just serves to show you that you can, in fact, live here without speaking so much as a single word of French, and you will still be able to live a rich and fulfilled life. Another interesting story: when TV shows from Quebec are shown in France, they are shown with subtitles. Our Prime Minister, a Francophone ,has the unfortunate distinction of being a man thought to be illiterate in both official languages. So, even if you can read Proust in the original, it won't help you any up here. Cherchez la femme (that's French for "go figure", or something like that).
Currency
Ok, this bit's important. Try to remember this: our money is different than yours, because we're a foreign country. Our money does look different to Americans used to the boring green money used in 'The States'. However, it's real, it's ours and we love it. Please, don't make the cute joke about this being Monopoly money. We've all heard it, no one is amused by it, and pretty soon, Canadians everywhere will rise up and do something really aggressive- like refuse to say "Excuse me" or "Thank you" or "Have a nice day!". Our money not only looks different, we have cute nicknames for some of it, as well. The dollar coin is called a loony, because it has a loon on one side of the coin. When the two-dollar coin was introduced, there was a contest held for the most original name. As the coin had a picture of HRH Queen Elizabeth on one side and a polar bear on the other, my favourite entry was the "Moony" (The Queen with a bear behind). However, we're nothing if not predictable, so it is now called a Toony.
There are many more important and useful things to know about Canada, most of which can be found in a book. You should probably go find one and read it. However, the easiest and most amusing way to become an expert on this wonderful country is to come here. Stay, if you like. Just remember,"eh?" is a question, "coffee" is a direct command, and Putin, although pronounced like a French-Canadian specialty, is the Prime Minister of Russia. He'd look awful in cheese sauce.
Recommended:
Yes
|
|
|
|
Epinions.com ID:
hadassahchana
|
 in Books |
|
Member: Cindy
Location: "...The True North, Strong And Free..."
Reviews written: 68
Trusted by: 326 members
About Me:
Question about my rating? My email address is on my profile page.
|
|
|
- Add to My Yahoo!: 
- Add to Google Homepage: 
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.