Australia's UNIQUE Animals No.4 -My Mate - the Joe Blake
Written: Dec 09 '00
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Pros: very useful animals
Cons: none
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| SMITHSWOODSIDE's Full Review: Australia |
my usual flippant remarks are limited in this epistle due to the seriousness of the subject - correct December 2000
Back in the 1960's, when I was a teenage Crocodile Dundee instead of just acting the role under my pseudonym, the only good snake was a dead snake.
I killed far more than I would care to admit. And what did we get for our heroic efforts - two things, being near extinction of many species and plagues of mice.
Considering our stupidity we got of lightly and now that snakes are fully protected they have made a big comeback.
Lets have a look at some myths or unrealities. Australia has the most deadly snake in the World - everyone knows that and a lot know its the Inland Taipan. Now its true its venom is the most concentrated and the most deadly. This is assessed under the "mouse test", slowly being debunked by the experts. The mouse test is the number of mice that could be killed from one bite - that is the venom released would kill X number of mice.
Whats wrong with this test - well obviously it is somewhat unlikely that 10,000 mice would all line up, and once the Taipan bites the first the mouse says to the other 9,999 "Hang on fellas and be quick - we all have to share the poison in me so we can all die." I don't know about you but even if I was mouse number 10,000 I would be on my bike pretty bloody quick!
So, the better way is to look at how likely a Taipan bite is going to be. Some snakes are big featherless chickens and others aren't all that afraid of humans.
In other words there is a large variation in behaviour patterns, all of which are predictable.
Lets get our friendly Taipan out of the way first. Now a Taipan, held vertically is about the length of one of us, but all it wants too do is disappear. But there is a proviso. Imagine you are a cute but regrettably brainless Taipan and you see one of these human things stand on your nest and kill some of your babies, or you see one stand between you and the nest which you naturally assume is to stop you returning. Or maybe even worse, while sunbaking and half asleep one of these clumsy footed humans steps on you - yes, you know you would be pretty damn annoyed and pretty damn annoyed in Taipan language means one strike and your out! - off to see great, great grandma and grandpa!
Of course the Taipans ancestors will explain your mistake but it's just a little late, because you have already shaken hands at the gate.
So, if the Taipan is safe, which it basically is, what is a snake that could cause some harm, that is even likely to cause harm and where do they live.
I guess my house is a prime example. Now snakes won't usually venture amongst houses, but take the case of ours and our nearby neighbours. We are one of about eight houses on the border of a near new subdivision. Directly behind us is about 2,000 acres of vacant land, about a third being un-touched native bushland. While it provides a glorious view, we are of course the first houses a snake would encounter.
So we use some common sense. Fist we have located the major concentration of snakes, some many hundreds, possibly up to 2,000 and they are about a mile away. The snakes have chosen this location because of the native bushland and the numerous fallen logs and so on to live under. So to a snake this is prime real estate.
They only have one problem - that is there is no water. A snake drinks once every two days on average and in this particular location some head straight down to our so called river, which at best only has a near dry waterhole. They also have the difficulty of crossing the main road through the valley which carries 14,000 cars per day. There is one house near their route and the owners watch many snakes each day cross the road and speed off down the side of the house on the way to the river. The owners know not to get in their way and there is no problem.
However, an unknown number come our way. Everyone has had them around their houses which causes them some concern particularly those two or three houses with young children. We have never seen one, I am sure for one reason only. Since I know all they want is water and leave very quickly, I have several drinking sources dug into the garden under bushes at snake height, which isn't too high! Since I have convinced the neighbours to do the same not one snake has been seen - but that means nothing as to their presence. Some days, especially when the Kookaburras aren't around, these containers are nearly dry and they hold about 2 pints each.
So we can share the same area quite happily - and by the way the two main types of snake that drink at our house are the two most dangerous! These are not chicken snakes! Sure they can only kill a few thousand mice at one bite but dead is dead. Its the same as saying to kill me five nuclear weapons could be dropped on my head, or one, or a single rifle shot between the eyes - whats it matter; I say again Dead is Dead.
Our little 6 foot drinking buddies are about the one nuclear warhead variety, and they both have a particularly poor disposition at the slightest provocation. For instance, throw a stick at a Taipan - goodbye Taipan. Throw a stick at either of our two its hello - while we babble I didn't mean it, true, honest!!!
They will come at you, almost every time. One is the so called "common Brown Snake", and they are certainly common. Because of their behaviour they are sometimes called the "Fierce Snake". The other is the Tiger Snake, very aptly named.
The poison from both these snakes is lethal in about half an hour - well actually thats for Australians who are all super fit of course, but recent tests have not been so kind to tourists from the USA - it has been found that the 18 to 25 Big Macs fermenting inside the average tourist from the US speeds up the action.
When a brown snake strikes it bites every time - but the Tiger is very different.
While they are even more irascible, they are good sports and see if their victim can have a heart attack induced by fright first. To achieve this the first and second strike hit the victim quite hard, but with mouth closed! The third strike is the "Russian Roulette" one and definitely all the others are "full on". Real characters aren't they?
Because almost everyone bitten is the victim of one of these two, they are now generally regarded as the most dangerous.
Even though right now as I type this I know there are quite a few nearby, I have no fear because I am stupid,..er well.., there is nothing to worry about, as you can see.
The last thing is what do I do if I am bitten. This is very simple. Get a piece of cloth, tear off your sleeve if you have to and wrap a firm, not tight bandage around the bite. Send someone for help and lie back and enjoy the sun. The less panic, the less movement prolongs your chances. Don't try to catch the snake -its not needed.
If you are alone, walk slowly and casually to your vehicle or the nearest help - everything slow to restrict the spread of poison and you will probably be okay.
That might not sound too good, but get all excited and you are definitely dead!
See, its all so simple.
The question of snakes, what they do, how dangerous etc. varies from expert to expert. My usual funny little bits are limited due to the seriousness of the subject.
The facts contained herein are believed very accurate and have been discussed with local experts "Adelaide Hills Snakecatchers" who are definitely expert in this field. These facts are accurate and current for the whole of Australia only. Correct December 2000
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Member: Peter Smith
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