Yee Haw! We're Saved!
Written: Aug 26 '00
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Beautiful Scenery
Cons: Too Smoky to See it
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| Wolfhound's Full Review: Montana |
I heard on CNN this morning that Uncle Sam was sending 1,000 middle managers to the American West to help fight the wildfires. We're Saved! The Washington bureaucrats are going to smother the fires with paperwork. I can sleep safely at night knowing they're on the job, filling out purchase orders in triplicate.
Now is not a good time to plan a trip to Montana unless you have your firefighters Red Card, or are a raving pyromaniac. In the past few weeks, both federal and state lands have been closed. I don't know about Yellowstone, but Glacier Park is closed. All outdoor events in many parts of the state have been cancelled. In my town, a Foghat and Blue Oyster Cult show planned for this weekend was cancelled, so maybe the fires are a good thing after all. Throwing a cigarette out of the car window can land you in serious trouble. The big plywood 'Fire Risk' sign outside the Forest Service offices has Smoky The Bears fingers pointing to "Extreme Fire Risk".
We spend our days watching and listening to World War II vintage bombers and helicopters flying back and forth to the fire line. When there's a breeze and the smoke clears out, we spend our evenings watching the glow over the horizon. It's frightening that this has become a part of everyday life. Talking about the fires near our homes has become casual conversation. We heard that it rained here once, but I believe that was just an ugly rumor. We have many dry thunderstorms. The last one had 21,000 lightning strikes, with thunder that rumbled for over five seconds, and not one drop of moisture.
Many parts of the state are burning so hard, and have been for so long, that parts of many towns are being evacuated due to smoke and fire hazard. The Red Cross is handing out filter masks to people with respiratory trouble like asthma. If I wanted this, I would have stayed in New York.
The only good thing that I have seen out of this (other than Foghat and Blue Oyster Cult being cancelled) is the effect on the local economy. Displaced tourists and campers are roaming the streets of the towns and the stores of the malls. The bars are full of out of state fire fighters and soldiers. Out of work loggers are making money creating firebreaks around peoples homes along the timberline. Broken down overworked firefighting equipment needs to be fixed, and chainsaws, a form of legal tender in Montana, will soon be flooding the state. Uncle Sam has a big checkbook, and he's not stingy about using it. All able bodied people not currently employed are getting their Red Cards, picking up a Pulaski (an ax-like thing) and a pisspack (a backpack Super Soaker) and heading off to the fires. Great fun is being had by all.
Another effect of the fires is the increased migration of the game. They are all moving out of harms way, and screwing up all of my pre-planned hunting positions. They're going anywhere they can to escape the fire, sometimes right into the middle of town. Yesterday I had to break for a herd of Mule Deer who ran out from behind Wendys, making a beeline across the road straight for Taco Bell. Bears and lions are being forced into more populated areas. Great photo ops, if you like pictures of bears in supermarket dumpsters.
This morning, the wind kicked back up and it looks like we're getting ready for another rack of thunder storms. Hopefully, it will rain, but I'm not counting on it.
With all of the disruption to our lives caused by this fire, I am glad that Washington has responded. I am sure that hordes of bespectacled, pen-wielding functionaries will be a great asset. I know I'm scared, hopefully the fire will be too.
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When I went to check Best Suited For before submitting this review, I was surprised to find that there was no box to check for "Firefighters".
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
Wolfhound
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Reviews written: 23
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