Las Vegas or The Strip - You Aren't Special Just Because You're In A Limo
Written: Nov 30 '00 (Updated Mar 21 '02)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Eye Candy Popping Out ! Delightful Sin filled fun
Cons: The flyers being passed out on the street for Escort Scam I mean services..
The Bottom Line: Vegas baby!
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| gamblinfamily's Full Review: The Strip |
Ok, I have to write this, only because I am sick of clueless people. I go to Las Vegas and always run into someone who just doesn't have one clue. I know there isn't a real standard on how to act on the Strip. But, can't you at least try to keep up with us stumbling lushes? Follow the flow, don't be a trouble maker and for god sakes black socks do NOT look good with docker shorts!
Let's face it, you don't go to The Strip to sit in your hotel the whole time. There is a plethora of things to do on The Strip, get out and experience it! Matter of fact if you plan it right, your hotel is merely a place to lay your head in a drunken stupor from too many comp drinks at all the casino's. Where else can you get totally blitzed, see some nice pimp momma's and daddy's, gamble, and eat till you pop a button off your pants? Shame on you injuring that poor little old lady who only wanted to play Keno!
The Strip Tips - Outdoors
Cab Riders : See That Long Line Of People You Just Cut In Front Of?
They are waiting on a cab too goober! Of course they were there before you, and obviously are paying attention! The Line is long, yes but it moves really fast. Well, except when you hold it up with that look of DUH on your face. A cab from the Luxor to The Sahara cost me $7.00.
Trolley Riders : Good Value, well done!
The trolley/shuttles are a good value. They cost what a cab would just for getting in. Use these to your advantage.
Limo Riders : Look Limo's are everywhere, you aren't special
Limo's are a really good deal if you are trying to hit the skin clubs, or drive off strip. We suggest Olympic Gardens or OG for short. It's one of the better clubs. We had fun there. The limo cost $55.00 for up to 6 people. They are only insured/licensed to carry 6 people. However I found they will bend the rules if you promise to behave. This isn't too good a deal unless you are going from the Luxor to The Stratosphere. And please don't act like your someone special just because you arrived in a limo. They are a dime a dozen. You can drop the Fat Cat act ;-)
Walkers : Don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk!
This really grates my cheese. It's hard enough for the thoroughly polluted to walk a straight line. We don't need you stopping in the middle of the street to eyeball 'that tha're MGM Grand'. Move to the side and get out the way. This causes a chain reaction of bumps, much like dominoes. While it might be fun to do just once, be wary. Drunk people in large groups are known to retaliate.
You Can However Stop In Front Of The Bellagio
This is allowed, just walk into the v-shaped area. Watch the water show, morning and one at night. You won't regret it. And, if you do regret it tough nookie!
Pay attention to Cross Walk Signals
You can't hurt a 2,000 pound car ok? Don't walk out there when you don't have the ok. You will get hit, or cause an accident. It's not that hard to just wait for the signal and be safe. Don't you want to arrive home of your own free will, and not on a gurney? I say this because while we were there someone did in fact get hit by stepping out before he should have.
Watch Out For That Stroller
I have nothing against taking kids to The Strip. I do have a problem with them running around the hotel unsupervised at 3 a.m. but that's a different story. Just be mindful and think of others when pushing the stroller and looking off. I don't like being hit with a stroller. And also please obey the cross walk signals. Don't put your child in danger. And don't let your kids grab any of the items in the next paragraph
Don't Accept Flyers On The Street, Especially If With Your Lady
The flyers handed out by people on the street are always raunch. Hey, I like a good boob just as much as the next person, but this is trash. It's not worth the paper it's printed on. And what's up with the way they hand it out? They always slap it on their hand first. The hand thing does not impress me. Working out at home alone, eh?
Dark Alleys Are Not A Place For You To Get Your Groove On
Don't follow that pretty lady into the unlit alley just cause you think she wants you. She wants something from you alright, and it isn't your manhood. Well it could possibly be your manhood. Chicks sometimes aren't chicks. Don't get rolled, be smart stay on The Strip, and with friends. It's not a bad place to be, it's rather safe so long as you aren't being a bonehead.
Keep up, Pay Attention, & Double Check
One of the more common things that seems to occur is people not doing the above mentioned. Wallets are lost or stolen. Keys get lost etc. I personally don't carry a purse when I'm out and about. I wear jeans or pants with pockets and keep my ID and cash somewhere on my person. I would suggest the same. Make sure you have your wallet and ID with you before you leave as well. You don't want to try flying back home without your I.D. would you? Fanny packs work, but I will laugh at you. That goes for cargo vests with 32 pockets. That might even cause me to roll around and choke from laughter.
Experience the Freemont Street Experience
I won't tell you anything other than it's a great show of lights. I don't even want to see the electricity bill on this place.
The Strip Tips - Indoors
Go See A Show!
This is part of the experience. The shows are awesome. Do your homework though, don't go to one just because it is cheap. You want quality my friend! A must see is Penn & Teller !
The Casino's
Don't limit yourself to one place. There are so many places on the strip to experience. Wander around a bit. Don't be fooled by Mandalay Bay though. I do not like their casino. It's pretty small for such a swank (cough) place. I generally hang around The Luxor and Bellagio. Don't settle either. Don't like one place? Well by golly move along.
Slot/Reward Clubs
Sign up for every one you can get your greasy little buffet hands on. They might not pay off on the first,second or any trip really. But, this puts you on the casino's mailing list. This is a good thing. Reduced room rates, free money, comps. Each Slot Club is different, but sign up anyhow. See if they offer free pulls too. Luxor does on a big slot machine next to the sign up booth. I didn't win anything but another lady did.
Tip Your Drink Hostess Well
If you tip them well and make eye contact, they might even come back! It is hard sometimes to get a drink if you are a piddly slot player like me. I tip well though and the drink host always keeps me well stank breathed. Be wary though they always treat the high rollers at the tables better.
Not All Buffets Are Created Edible
Just because it's a nice cheap buffet doesn't mean it is good. I recommend researching buffets before you sink your teeth in. I mean when you are drunk and need something to absorb the booze anything will do. Problem isn't the short term. Sure it's ok until the morning. If you are sharing a hotel room pack bottles of air freshener. Save your friends from needless pollution.
Beware of Smoking Grandma's wearing oxygen tanks
I will never get over this! They are everywhere! Bear in mind before I went we just saw a story on our local news about a explosion. A man hooked up to a oxygen tank was smoking and blew up his entire apartment complex. I could almost hear the Twilight Zone music cueing in the casino.
Craps (the game doof)
Alright, I can never get this game. If anyone would like to teach a mean dyslexic Puerto Rican how to play drop me a line. You can play dollar games at Sahara last time I checked. Some places have a $20 limit though (Mandalay Bay).
You Won't Win the Jackpot At Keno
Look, in the entire history of this game. Not one soul has won the Big Kahuna in this game. No one has ever picked all the numbers correctly. It is fun to play, but I'm realistic.
The Machine Ate My Dollar Trick Only Works Once
This happened a lot at the Luxor. A little old lady would put a dollar in, lose it and call over a slot host. They humored her the first time, then told her to beat it.
Don't Count The Cards, Stupid!
Counting the cards, or even joking about this is a good way to get you kicked out flat on your drunken tooshie. You can do it, just don't be drunk and talkative about it! (don't tell em Honest Gamblin' said that!)
Man , Woman, Thing?
I had the most fun when I went. It happened to be on Halloween weekend. Man there was so much T & A it was awesome. I felt like Beavis and Butthead when they walked up to the Egyptian statue in their movie debut. Uh, huh, huh, huh!
The weirdest part that weekend was seeing all the gorgeous women...that had adam's apples. To each his own, I was a bit bummed that they were hotter than me though!
Perhaps I've Ranted Long Enough
My whole point of this was really to put a fun spin on The Strip. I really did feel this way at times. Some people do stop in the middle of the sidewalk and cause a real scene. Same goes for people not following the crosswalk signals either.
The Strip is filled with fun and merriment for all. First and foremost be safe, alert and smart. Don't be the one bad apple that spoils the bunch. I don't like seeing anyone get hurt. This I hope helps you somewhat.
Remember AIR FRESHENER!
- EricaAnn
Recommended:
Yes
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gamblinfamily
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Member: Just Another Blue Gal
Location: Cypress, TX
Reviews written: 221
Trusted by: 137 members
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