A Bumpkin's Guide to New York City
Written: May 05 '01 (Updated Apr 26 '02)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Exciting, fast-paced; lots to see and do; you can have a great adventure
Cons: It's very easy to get lost and it can be difficult to catch a taxi!
The Bottom Line: New York City has many famous landmarks, a wealth of cultural activities, and great shopping. However, it can be very easy to get lost if you're not paying attention.
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| diverpam's Full Review: New York |
No matter how many times I go to New York City I always feel like the same country bumpkin who went there for the first time 25 years ago as a college girl.
Last December, I went to New York City on business with a co-worker/friend who had never been there before. Oh, yes! She was counting on me to know the ropes. I guess you could say it was the bumpkin leading the bumpkin.
Unfortunately, in the immortal words of Yogi Berra,"It was deja vu all over again." I, the consummate country bumpkin, had returned to New York City and I'd brought a friend!
I hope you can learn from my mistakes so you don't act like a bumpkin!
Get Good Directions Before You Set Out
The first day we managed pretty well. We were staying a few blocks from Rockefeller Center and got explicit directions from the concierge as to how to get there. Soon we were mingling with the tourists and the New Yorkers, marveling at the huge Christmas tree and watching the ice skaters.
It had only been a few days earlier that I had watched the lighting ceremony on television. We felt very safe with so many people around and easily made our way back to the hotel without mishap. Christmas time in New York was pretty cool!
Don't Assume You Know Anything
I was starting to feel more confident about my New York navigation skills as we talked about what we might do the following evening. We were formulating all sorts of great plans. Did it ever occur to me to have a map or even the address of the hotel where we were staying? Of course not!
Taxis, Taxis Everywhere - Notice the Occupied Light!
After a long day of meetings at 1 Penn Plaza we walked outside to catch a taxi at 5:00pm. Shouldn't be a problem, we thought. There were tons of taxis whizzing past. Why did they all seem to have the "Occupied" light lit up?
If at First you Don't Succeed -- Try Something Else
After about 15 minutes in the same spot, we decided to start walking in the direction of our hotel. No problem. It was really cold, but we had on heavy coats and gloves. I really wished that I wasn't dragging along a giant rolling laptop case. (So did all the people whose feet I hit.)
Visit the Empire State Building at the First Opportunity
But maybe there was a better place to catch a taxi. A few blocks later, after unsuccessfully dodging many angry New Yorkers on the sidewalk with my case, we were standing in front of the Empire State Building.
Go to the Bathroom Before You Leave the Building
I asked my friend if she wanted to go inside. "No, that's okay, we'll do it tomorrow," she answered. "I'm ready to get back to the hotel. I should have gone to the bathroom before we left the office." Oh, no. That reminded me that I should have gone as well. The cold air wasn't helping any.
Still, there were no available taxis. We started looking for a hotel. There were always plenty of taxis in front of hotels. There was not a hotel to be found. Nor was there an available taxi.
Forget How Stupid You Look, Stay Warm at All Costs
After we'd been walking about 45 minutes my ears were starting to freeze. I pulled the wool scarf out from underneath my coat collar and tied it around my head. I know I was a lovely fashion statement with my head bound up while I dragged a giant laptop case that seemed to be getting larger and heavier by the moment. My bladder also had started to feel larger and heavier. Why was I suddenly starting to think about Hard_to_Please?**
Any Available Taxi Will Always be on the Other Side of the Street
At last! There was an available taxi... on the other side of the street. Forget it. Someone else had already gotten it. We trudged onward, changing sides of the street. Now the taxis were on the other side.
There are Worse Places to Die Than Park Avenue
Finally, after more than an hour in the freezing cold we came to Park Avenue. My feet felt like lead, my nose was numb, my bladder was threatening disaster. I believe I aptly summed up our situation when I stated, "If we can't catch a taxi on Park Avenue, then they'll find our frozen bodies stuck to the sidewalk in the morning."
Just When the Night is Darkest...
And there it was... like a knight in shining armor riding out of the mist on his steed ... the taxi with our name on it!
We leapt into the street like maniacs, determined to stop this one or die in the prospect. Luckily, we didn't scare him away. We slid into the warm car, breathing a sigh of relief.
Don't Assume The Taxi Driver Knows Any More About New York Than You Do
"Boy, are we glad to see you. The Radisson Hotel on Lexington, please."
"What's the address?"
"It's on Lexington. We don't know the street address."
"I have to have the address." At this point I'm thinking you're the taxi driver. I'm from Memphis. You're supposed to know where it is.
Then I had a brief moment of panic. I was afraid he might put us out. My nose was still frozen and I really, really needed to go to the bathroom. (My life had become a Hard_to_Please review.)
"How about the Waldorf-Astoria? You know where that is? It's right down the street."
"What's the address?"
Stay Calm and Don't Panic, No Matter What
Okay, at this point I was about to wet my pants and I had absolutely no patience for any taxi driver in New York City who did not know how to find the Waldorf-Astoria. Luckily, my friend had pulled out her hotel receipt and found the street address. Ten minutes later we were racing into the Radisson, looking for the nearest restroom. Disaster averted!
Ask Someone the Best Place to Catch a Taxi
The next day as we sat at the conference table waiting for our meeting to start, I looked behind the building at Madison Square Garden. There, in all its glory, was a busy taxi stand where people were lined up catching taxi after taxi. No wonder every taxi we saw for blocks was filled. They had just picked up passengers before they turned the corner and passed us. Did we feel like bumpkins at this point? Of course we did!
But now we had the secret to catching a taxi back to the hotel and we didn't have to admit to our New York co-workers that we were idiots. At least not until our last day in New York.
Plan Your Days for the Must-See Attractions
Because of our full schedule we had no time all week to venture out and do any touristy things -- no Statue of Liberty, no Empire State Building, just a quick dash across the street to Macy's at lunch time. You don't want to leave the city disappointed if you don't get to see those things you have your heart set on.
On our last day we had a few hours between our meeting and the time we needed to be at the airport. My friend had only thing she really wanted to do while in New York -- visit the Dakota, where John Lennon lived. It just so happened that we were there on the 20th anniversary of his death.
Never Believe Anyone Who Tells You the Best Way to Get There is by Subway
We were advised (by people we trusted) to take the subway,rather than risk getting caught in traffic. We secured our luggage and laptops at the office (at least I knew better than to drag that thing around again) and we headed off to get directions to the Dakota.
If You're Crazy Enough to Take the Subway, Read the Signs
We had a couple of helpful people in the office who told us how to get to Central Park. One of the gentlemen even walked us downstairs to Penn Station, waited until we bought our tokens, and walked us to the platform where we would catch our train. He told us which train and which exit to take. We were all set. In just a few minutes a train pulled up and we hopped on. Big mistake.
Not All Trains Go to Your Destination
We watched the street numbers change and people got off and on. Still we were not at our street. Then there were no stops for what seemed a long time. We really hadn't looked at our watches when we boarded, but it seemed like we had been riding a long time. My friend whispered, "You think we're going under Central Park or something?" I nodded. "Probably so."
I was starting to get worried. We must have somehow missed our stop. Then we saw the stop just one number higher than ours should have been. We agreed to exit and walk back. We must have just missed it.
If You Think You're Lost, You Probably Are
When we finally exited the train and saw daylight, I was surprised. The area wasn't exactly what I expected. Still we were about a block away and, of course, I now needed to go to the bathroom. The cold air and walking was having a negative effect on my body.
Don't Make Stupid Jokes That Other People in the Office Will Hear About Later
After we had walked a couple of blocks I was really puzzled. This did not seem right. Trying to make light of the situation, I quipped, "I really thought John Lennon would have lived in a better neighborhood than this." Still we kept walking, thinking Central Park would appear as we turned the next corner.
The Same Street Name is Located on More than One Borough
Then we found the magic street number. There was no Central Park, no Dakota, no camera crews recording the anniversary events. We were lost and I had really to use the bathroom. I'm not sure which of the circumstances upset the most.
There Are Still Nice People in the World
Then, once again, we were saved. A nice lady walked up to us and asked if she could help. We explained that we were trying to find the Dakota on 72nd Street. She smiled and nodded, and somehow kept from laughing out loud.
"You have found 72nd street, but the wrong borough. You're in Queens, not Manhattan."
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this point. I looked at my watch and realized we had better get going or we were going to miss our flight. We thanked her and got directions to the nearest subway station that could get us back to Penn Station to claim our luggage.
No One You Will Meet in the Subway Actually Lives in New York
I will spare you the gory details, but we did make it back to Penn Station, no thanks to the couple from Colombia, or the man from Chicago, who we also asked for directions.
You Never Know What Route You'll Be Taking to the Airport
Ironically enough, as we slid into our final taxi in New York and told the driver we wanted to go to La Guardia, he curtly informed us that due to the traffic we would be forced to drive through Central Park.
"Central Park?" I asked with glee. "Will we be going by the Dakota?" I was suddenly starting to feel a bit less guilty.
"Yes," he answered. "It's the only way I can guarantee that you'll make a 6 o'clock flight." He was trying to rip us off for more money, of course.
Central Park or Bust!
In spite of ourselves we finally made it to Central Park and got to see the Dakota. There were fans and news crews roaming all around. The driver slowed down so my friend could get a good look. We were a couple of very lucky bumpkins, indeed!
Important Lessons Learned:
* Make sure you have very specific directions getting to any place in New York.
* Pay attention to which train you are getting on. They don't all go to the same destinations.
* Dress appropriately and don't burden yourself carrying extra things.
* Pay attention to where you are and how you got there. Be sure you have directions to get you back.
* Go to the bathroom first before you go anywhere!
* Allow plenty of time to get to the airport.
I Love New York!
New York City is a great place and I love going there. Thank you to the wonderful lady in Queens, whoever you are!
If you're interested in my early New York adventures, please see my review about the Statue of Liberty, "The Staten Island Ferry Does Not Take You There!" http://www.epinions.com/trvl-review-4AF3-1595D601-39BD8210-prod6
**Note: For anyone not familiar with Hard_to_Please, he almost always has a "urinary" reference in his reviews.
It saddens me that such disaster struck New York City on September 11. I was inspired by the courage and compassion exhibited by so many New Yorkers during such a horrible time. My heart goes out to all those who lost friends and loved ones. I know the effects on the city were profound, but the true spirit of New Yorkers prevailed.
Recommended:
Yes
Best Suited For: Friends
Best Time to Travel Here: Mar - May
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diverpam
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Member: Pam
Location: Collierville, TN
Reviews written: 263
Trusted by: 350 members
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~~~~So many oceans...so little time!~~~~
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