It was a beautiful spring day in Washington DC. I had just returned from an assignment in Azerbaijan and had two weeks of work in Washington before returning home. On this particular day, three friends and I came to a momentous decision: we would visit the Vietnam War Memorial. All of us had avoided it in the past. We were not protesting anything by individually making that decision. It was the pain. All of us had fought there. Not just for a twelve month tour. No, all of us had multiple assignments to Vietnam and that meant one thing. We knew too many names on that wall. None of us wanted to be reminded of how those men lost their lives. We were there. We didn’t need a wall to help remember our lost friends.

On this day, the four of us took that walk on the grassy approach to the wall in silence. We weren’t seeking any particular name. We brought no flags or mementos. This was a pilgrimage. We were paying our respects and letting those 58,000 faceless names know that they were not forgotten.

This is the most visited site in Washington. When we were there, I was surprised at the crowd. Some had books and were seeking specific names. Other had found their name and were leaving personal items at the base of the panel. I saw a guide helping an elderly couple find their son’s name. The most striking aspect of the wall was the silence. People spoke in whispers. Those that wept, did so quietly. It was if we were in church. The stark wall of black panels seemed to have that effect.

Some veterans were not hard to spot. They wore pieces of the old military uniform. A fatigue jacket. A cap. A shirt. Some came in full uniform. I found myself watching the visitors more than I perused the wall. Every age group was represented. Some were obviously visitors and had no connection with anyone listed on those panels. Others had deep connections, and I found myself wondering about them. Was the name a father or mother? A son or daughter? A husband or wife? A brother or sister? A sweetheart? There were stories behind every name on that wall. One was how they died. This was another one.

Our small group did find many friends’ names. We paid our respects in silence. As we were leaving, I saw a family in front of one of the panels. A little girl, who I would guess to be five or six, was setting a flag before the panel. Her mother was crying. A man in a suit had his hand on her shoulder. I saw his lapel pin and recognized the Distinguished Service Cross. (For those with no military background, it is the second highest award that can be bestowed for bravery, exceeded on by the Medal of Honor. The DSC is never frivolously awarded.) The man also had tears glistening on his cheek. That one sight is my strongest remembrance of the Vietnam War Memorial.

After we left, the silence among the four of us lasted until dinner. We were all stirred emotionally and dealing with it in our separate ways. Finally, one of my friends, who had spent six years in Vietnam, ordered a bottle of wine and we had our toast. That broke the ice and we discussed our feeling and emotions well into the night. We had been touched and moved. We all knew that we would return to the wall.

For Those That Cannot Visit

I received an email a few days ago. It is a newsletter on family activities on the net. The topic of this one was Vietnam. The newsletter explained that Memorial Day 2000 was Vietnam Remembrance Day. I didn’t know that. I also didn’t know about the Virtual Wall.

The Virtual Wall website is http://thevirtualwall.org/ and you can view the wall panel by panel. You can search for specific names. When you find them, you can leave voice messages or letters. You can also join a discussion group by registering at the site. It’s free.

The site has a short rendition of the history of the memorial and includes photo galleries of the memorial as well as another with Vietnam pictures. You can also find the schedule of the “Travelling Wall,” the miniaturized replica that moves about the country. I viewed it last year. It lacks the stark reality of the real memorial, but is well worth a visit if you cannot get to Washington DC.

I ask that you take some time this Memorial Day and, if you cannot visit the real memorial, visit the Virtual Wall. Bring your family. It has nothing to do with whether you agreed or disagreed with our commitment to the Vietnam War. It has to do with the faceless names on those panels and offering some remembrance for their ultimate sacrifice.





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