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HASH(0xc1fe454)

112 ratings (89 Epinions reviews)
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XXX - James Bond on steroids.

Aug 9, 2002 (Updated Aug 9, 2002)
Review by  
Rated a Very Helpful Review

Pros:action sequences are awesome, the sound effects were incredible, movie progressed with action

Cons:um...it ended?

The Bottom Line: See it, wait for it...I don't care, this movie's awesome!


Just an ordinary day:
Well, I woke up this morning at around 1:45(ok so it was the afternoon) and got up and did my usual thing. Played SOCOM for about an hour, got the poo kicked out of me in Delta Force as I'm not too good at games after just waking up(trust me, it takes about 4 hours for me to wake up to be able to think straight), and went for a brisk jog with a buddy of mine to get my heart pumpin'(evidently it pumped too much and ended up making me sick from the heat). Just a normal day of lazying around on me bum and screwing around with my bunk computer to make it work right(is it bad if it restarts on it's own?). Anyhow, about 20 minutes after getting back from running and taking meself a refreshingly hot n' steamy shower(no public this time, VIP passes only), my cousin' pipes up(calls) on his cell phone and says "Hey bunkness, XXX comes out today...we're meeting Ken at Bob Evans for dinner and then going to the drive in, be ready in 15 minutes." Now this is awesome, an ordinary day is about to change into an awesome night while explosions rattled the truck from my cousin's subwoofers. I watched XXX in style(somethin' you won't hear "Rocky" in the same sentence with very much).

"The things I'm about to do for my country..."
Among a few of the other catch lines, that was the better part of the film. Vin Diesel(you know, the bad-a$$ from Fast and the Furious that puts James Bond to shame) is the criminal Xander Cage who uses his taste and skill for extreme stunts to mess up the priorities in peoples lives. Such as stealing a car from a Senator that thinks video games and music are causing kids brains to fry(I doubt it's the video games or music, maybe just stupid:)).

So anyway, as Triple X, or "X" as his friends call him, causes trouble, problems have arisen in the Czech-republic with a group of ex Russian soldiers called the Anarchy99 who's goal is to do whatever they want, whenever they want...which means they want to destroy ANYTHING and EVERYTHING related to the government. After three spies are gunned down, the head honcho of NSA named Gibbons(Samuel Jackson) decides that they're doing all of this the wrong way, and they need to go on a more distinct route. Use a criminal to beat the criminals. Simple logic eh? Well XXX is perfect for the job, and Gibbons sends him through a couple tests, one of them being an actual raid, but of course XXX being the bad-a$$ he is, makes it out alive and evidently "passes" the test to go on this NSA mission to go undercover.

At first XXX doesn't want to do it, but when Gibbons puts it into perspective by the three X's on the back of his neck, either XXX takes the assignment and his criminal slate will be checked in for a nice cleanin'...or those three X's are the three strikes where the third one was stealing the senators car, and he'll be put in a penetentary(the analogy Gibbons used to put this in perspective was a real knocker). So of course, he takes the assignment and meets up with the leader of Anarchy 99 Yorgi(Marton Csokas, I've never even heard of the guy) and his "paid wh*re", Yelena(Asia Argento, now she's a hottie). Lets just say the plot thickens, and you'll be treated to the second layer of the cake as the movie progresses.

One of the reasons I liked this movie so much was because it progressed very quickly in the story with nice action sequences, and didn't linger on the boring lecture sh*t that makes you feel like you're watching a soap rather than a hardcore action movie. The action sequences in this movie are basically non-stop, as almost every scene includes either high speeds, weapons, explosions, and basically everything that you'd see in a James Bond film only like I said in my title...James Bond on steroids. And that's basically what this film is, a lot of the action sequences were borrowed straight from James Bond himself, only XXX's athletic ability was a nice touch as it added more "oomph" to the movie. For example, there's a part in the movie where he sky boards from a plane, onto a mountain, and then causes utter chaos all while flying upwards to 90 miles an hour as he zooms across the snow. It was a treat to watch, and any fan of extreme action(like me) is going to enjoy this movie for at least one sequence. And like XXX says, he lives for this sh*t.

The sound, usually I don't use this in a movie review, but for this movie I've got to. First of all, onto my cousin's car set-up. He's got three twelve inch speakers in the back, a six inch on each side of the back and front doors, and another twelve inch under each seat...then he's got two subwoofers in the trunk, and with the back seat down...you've got a nice massage goin' on just sitting in the seat. Now we get to the movie and right when the first scene of the movie begins, we're enveloped in loud satanic/demonic sounding music from some German band with a weird name. But the explosions, hardcore music(which was more demonic to me), all made this trip to the movies an enjoyable one as this was one movie you'd want to be in major surround sound with.

"You've got to be kidding me..."
Well, I guess that's it. I enjoyed the movie so much, this is going to be one that I get on DVD first day it's out. I've heard that Vin Diesel has already signed onto a deal for the sequel, appropiately named XXX 2, which should be hitting theaters around 2004. As cool as the first movie was, the sequel better not be one of those average sequels which seems to plague most movies today, so it better improve upon every aspect of XXX or else there are going to be some un-happy moviegoers. But of course sales were probably good for this movie not because it was one bad-a$$ movie, but because I'm sure 99.9% of you girls out there think Vin Diesel is an absolute HOTTIE that you went to the movie for that not caring what kind of movie it was or not.

~Happy Viewing


Recommend this product? Yes

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