John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars

Pros: John Carpenter directed Halloween and Escape From New York
Cons: This is not either of those movies

They say good things come in threes. Let’s hope the same holds true for bad things. If so, then John Carpenter’s Ghosts of Mars should put the nail in the coffin of the recent Red Planet triad. What Mission to Mars and Red Planet...

Pros: Some of the set design is actually pretty cool
Cons: I fell through a couple of big plot holes...and more!

What could be more horrific than finding the band members of the rock group Kiss alive and well on Mars with their groupies threatening to cut your head off? Well, try this movie. Wait! That IS this movie.

I wasn't prepared for the...

Pros: The most interesting character is Big Daddy who reminded me of a wrestler.
Cons: This film feels more like a B rated scifi-horror

Halloween 2001 is quickly drawing near and it’s time to check out the latest horror flick? Or is it? Are you planning to make Halloween a real haunted one or rush around at the last minute desperately trying to find the right movie to put you in the...

Pros: Clea DuVall, kinda ...
Cons: Gads, almost everything else ...

The title? It is just one of the many “eloquent” lines you can expect from Ghosts of Mars. Not to mention it adequately sums up my feelings after viewing the film. Maybe they planned it that way? You think?

Yes, I have read at...

Pros: Great cast of new and newer faces
Cons: Wasted cast

John Carpenter is the man behind Starman, which may easily be considered one of the greatest Sci-fi movies of all time. He has done Escape From New York, They Live, and other sci-fi classics. Here lately, he's been turning out the kind of USA...

Pros: Fantastic Score
Cons: The rest of the movie.

I read a lot of negative reviews about Ghosts of Mars, but nothing could prepare me for the film I saw. No matter how bad anyone tells you this movie is, the only way you can truly comprehend the awfulness Carpenter has created, is to see...

Pros: Ummm... The errr... Ummm... Well...
Cons: Plot, dialogue, dialogue continuity, dialogue ---...

The Matriarcal-lesbian-drug-addicted-armed-forces team up with the disaffected-minority-druggie-rebels to defeat the Sadomassochistic-MartianParasite-infested-Barbarian-hordes (who are armed with superbuzzsaw blades)!

Perhaps that was a bit...

Pros: Stunning set design; Ice Cube; Pam Grier
Cons: Mediocre chemistry between the actors; lousy score; ambiguous ending

In the year 2176 AD, the face of technology marches ever onward. The planet Mars has been no stranger to change over the past 200 years: thanks to the miracle of terraforming, the red planet now has the ability to sustain life. 640,000 colonists call...

Pros: Some good action scenes.
Cons: Bad script,weak acting and cardboard characters.

Is it just me or was Ghosts Of Mars a comedy? I ask that question because I often found myself laughing throughout the movie. The problem was, I don't think that's what John Carpenter intended. As if it wasn't already enough that the past 22 months or ...

Pros: 2 good action scenes...
Cons: ...surrounded by 75 minutes of boredom.

I'm not the type to bash a "popcorn movie" for not being Macbeth, but even B-movie genre fare needs to be held to some kind of standard. It pains me to criticize a filmmaker I hold in such high esteem, but here's the bottom line: If John Carpenter had...

Pros: Marilyn Manson made up ghouls Anthrax-soundtrack some gory decapitations
Cons: I worked really hard to pretend to find some Pros

Ghost of Mars is John Carpenter's latest movie. It's got everything required to make a great looking preview for
a film circa 1982. Ghost of Mars is Carpenter's 23rd movie and we know he is more than capable of delivering a better than average...

Pros: John Carpenter--when he does science fiction, it's better than the best
Cons: ...but when he blows it, boy does it ever blow

John Carpenter knows horror and science fiction...

He's been the creative mind behind some of the best of both genres that Hollywood has had to offer. He's directed Halloween, Starman and the remake of The Thing, among...

Pros: If you can watch it, it means you're not blind.
Cons: After watching it, you'll wish you were.

Dear oh dear oh dear. If you’ve read this far into the review, please stop reading now. You’ve wasted far too much time on this film already.

I used to have some respect for John Carpenter. The Fog almost made me pee myself with fear...

Pros: Reminds you why renting an actual good movie at home can be so enjoyable
Cons: Ludicrous plot; bad special effects; dated zombie costumes

After watching "Ghosts of Mars" I was starting to think that powers that be in Hollywood had it in for me personally. After all, I sat patiently through the none-too-subtle grossout humor in "Evolution" and the beyond-absurd multiple endings of AI....

Pros: Uncompromisingly violent, excellent cast, story unfolds in a unique way.
Cons: Not QUITE a classic.

John Carpenter is on my short list of filmakers who's presence as director instantly places any film on my must-see roster even if it looks like something I might have skipped otherwise. (In case you're wondering, the rest of the list includes Sam Raimi,...